Couple question!?

Question

I have asked this again and again to myself i had always had this image on men that they were horn dogs sorry to be so direct! But that is how they protay themselves. So my question is in my relationship is the opposite my husband is not always thinking about sex i am, I am the one that always is asking for some or trying to get him to make love. I even kiss his neck and tell him how much i want him but he just tells me to leave him alone. And i am so fustrated because i hate feeling like this i have talked to him and asked him what's wrong and he tells me nothing and i know he is not cheating on me he is with me 24/7 but damn i need some advice on how to get him to want me (again) like he used to when we were dating!!! what a jerk! :-(

ohh and this just ain't recently it's been going on for almost three years since i had my son!

Answer 1

Im right there with ya....lemme know your trick when you find it, bc its been 2 years for me. Im a bornagain!

Answer 2

Some of us just have high sex-drives. Maybe there is something he isn't comfortable talking about yet. Something at work, family outside of your marriage, stress. If he feels like he has failed you, he might not be comfortable having sex, then unfortunately, his rejecting you makes him feel like that much more of a failure. Lots of times you won't have any idea of his preceived "failure".

Try offering a back rub, foot massage, candle-lit hot bath.. make sure he knows you don't expect sex and for a week or so tell him you just want other ways to reconnect without any pressure. Cook his favorite meal, leave love notes in his car, have flowers delivered to his job. Maybe give him a pressure free period of 2-4weeks. (I know it will be hard, but so is rejection.)

After that, pounce on him in his sleep. "Why would I wake you up? So you could say no?" If he's a morning person, wake up 30min earlier than him and take his matter into your own hands, or .......anywhere else. If not morning, in the middle of the night. If his alter-ego wakes up before he does, he doesn't have to wake up until your already one. Very few men will turn you down if it is already happening, and your doing all the work.
Good Luck!

Answer 3

You know, the cynics say that love is temporary insanity cured my marriage. The realists say that marriage is a wonderful institution, but the problem is that more than 50% of the people choose the wrong person to marry.

It is very hard to breach with yourself let alone the other person the possibilities: 1) age; 2 health; 3) depression; 4) out of love; 5) Unhappy in work: 6) Self-worth or self-esteem issues; 7) feeling no sexual attraction . . .

Oh, I know only to well what it is like not to be wanted the way that they used to. I am sorry that I do not have answers.

Answer 4

You are still in the honeymoon stage of marriage where he is already advanced to the comfortable stage. You are still looking for reassurance of his love because the romance has tapered off or become non-existent. Intimacy is very important in marriage, but not as important as romance. This is what you need to relay to him. Any marriage that I am aware of that has gone long term are the ones where the little things are practiced day in and day out. The kiss every morning before work and getting home, the holding of each others hand out in public, the flower for no reason every so often, the stroking of each others hair while watching TV, the shoulder or back massage before going to sleep, and all the other little things that require touch or small effort to show each other you care. If you relay this to him to make him understand you are missing this he might find his marriage is so much stronger. If it's slow for him to take action, then use the coy method of making yourself more visible physically without getting near him. Walking into the bedroom naked and going to bed that way, kiss him goodnight and go to sleep. Wear loose fitting shirts and flaunt a little in front of him without making eye contact. If he is human he will start changing his attitude. If you can get the romance fire burning it can also change his attitude to where you won't need to be coy to get more attention from him.

Answer 5

He may be going through a state of depression the only thing to do is support him talk to him ask him why he is not into sex anymore. He may be going through something that you don't know about.
Question does he say he still loves you and tells you your sexy and beautiful just compliments you here and there
if not then he may be falling out of love with you or he may
be cheating.
You need to sit down and talk with him seriously start doing
stuff you did when you dated get a babysitter and go out with friends go out for a nice dinner just the 2 of you. It appears he may just be insecure about having sex with you with a kid being around get away for a night go dancing rent a hotel room and just shag away.
It may also be time for some counselling or trying some supplements to help his libido.

God Bless and good luck.

Answer 6

If you have tried to talk to him directly about it and he refuses ask if he will attend marraige counseling with you. You need to get to the root of the problem and you can't do it if he will not communicate with you. You are not going to figure things out by guessing or trying new things or repeatedly asking him for sex. Ask him to go in to couples counseling with you and if he won't agree you may be facing the end of a marraige because a couple that is not communicating, having sex or relating to one another intimately is on a dead end road. Best of luck to you!

Answer 7

Do nothing for a while. Just leave him alone. Give it a week or so, then go to VS and get something new. If that doesn't work, I'd say he's gay.

Or maybe try doubting his abilities. Do that whole reverse psychology thing.

Answer 8

He may have a medical problem that has caused his sex drive to lessen. He may be working so many hours that he is just down right tired. Does your husband work long hours or more than one job? Do you work? If you are much more rested than he is, you'll have more energy and more desire.

Answer 9

There's something going on in your husbands head. The two of you need to communicate about this. Hopefully he will be honest with you. You may just explain to him that you need more physical affection from him, that you need to be touched and that's just a need you have. Then turn it around and ask him what his needs are and if you are fulfilling them.

Answer 10

No he isn't being a jerk. He may have a problem he is ashamed of something and not wanting you to know. So just keep on loving him, and it will come out eventually. So for now, just stay faithfull and love him.

Answer 11

Gads, I wish I had your hubby's problem. Anyway....there could be alot of factors at work here....stress, depression, medication, age or just a lower sex drive than your typical male. After all, don't we sometimes marry people who balance us out? It's good you are trying to talk to him, bad that he is resisting. My advice: Keep after him, keep talking to him and slowly try to tear down those walls. Good luck.