My wife has one friend and she goes all crazy when I come home from work and her friend is there and I say something to her friend which is somewhat flirtatious. Today I said something rather rude when her friend made a comment about having a sore throat. Regardless I have never even called her friend on the phone and now my wife is threatening to leave me.
2007-03-17 11:54:13 · 18 answers · asked by The Kumbaya 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know how to push her buttons, don't you. So figure it out.
2007-03-17 11:58:49 · answer #1 · answered by mstrywmn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No and Yes.
How are you supposed to respond to the friend if she gets mad if you flirt and madder when your rude?
Yes, because if it bothers your wife, you know it hurts her and you do it anyway that is wrong.
Have you asked her how she wants you to treat her friend? Maybe you could ask her to explain to her friend, that she is insecure and threatened by her and your responses to her, so the two of you could never direct a comment at each other again....for the sake of the marriage and her fragile self-esteem. Or is there a reason for her extreme reaction? Have you ever cheated on her? If yes, you will pay for the rest of your marriage unless you address the issues.
If she has always been this way, either because someone else hurt her, or she believes jealousy expresses degree of love then she needs to get help.
No marriage can survive under threats and extreme insecurities. Counseling is the best advice.
Does her friend know that your wife is this threatened by her? Not that it's your place to tell her....but maybe the gf isn't trustworthy. If that's the case, your wife should end the friendship not the marriage.
Best of luck. If yall don't work on this, then after the divorce, ONLY date secure, mature adults.
2007-03-17 12:11:24 · answer #2 · answered by Fallon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Making jokes about body parts to your wife's friend is not considered to be tasteful. Because you are referring to a male body part that you own, that could be the cause of her sore throat. Although it may not have been yours, it is still questionable, when you say it a certain way.
Your wife is taking it the way she is because you are insulting her in front of her friend, by feeling like you can be intimate with this women, and feel so comfortable in talking that way, which also indicates that you like her a bit more then is acceptable, by your wife's standards.
In fact, you may be able to talk like that with her, and her friend can go along with it, but in fact what your doing is flirting beyond what is actually acceptable by your wife's standards. And everyone has a level of what is accepted and what is not.
It may seems as if your interest is of a sexual nature from you towards her friend, which may indicate that you might be interested in something with her sexually.
And I am not saying it is, but it can be percieved that way.
You may feel that you are only joking and that is all it is, but you need to protect your marriage with some respect....even when you can't understand the feelings of your partner and why or how she is reacting that way, because you know your not doing anything serious, and if I may say, by your standards.
If you can't respect what she feels, then you have an argument and you are making your marriage a weak ground to stand on.
Remember, your marriage vows.
2007-03-17 12:22:32 · answer #3 · answered by sweetcitywoman2002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably didn't take in consideration on how jealous it might make her feel. Her Friend probably finds you rather rude with the comments as well. If it offends your wife and you have been told in the past that it does then what do you expect her to say?? Tell her you are sorry and stop making such comments in the future, isn't your marriage that important? Good luck.
2007-03-17 12:09:38 · answer #4 · answered by CeeCee19 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be flirtatious with your wife's friends! Your wife has a reason to be upset with you, but I think that leaving is a little extreme. Talk to her and let her know that you didn't mean any of those things you said and you will not make any additional comments. Apologize to her friend and try not to do things like that again.
2007-03-17 11:59:20 · answer #5 · answered by TRUST_ME 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would you openly flirt with your wife's friend? As for being rude - chances are if it had to do with her sore throat is was something crude rather than rude. Never mind that, why are you flirting - nothing wrong with harmless flirting -but in front of your wife? That's really disrespectful!
2007-03-17 16:09:19 · answer #6 · answered by Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh so your the knucklehead! I guess your wife posted the same situation. Yup! You were wrong....accept it, dont do it again and move on. Don't make suggestive comments to other women when you already have a woman at home. I guess your like my husband, you say it for the reaction, if you get a positive reaction from a woman it boosts your ego. Watch out you may make a similar comment to a womoan who might take the comment as a come on and respond to it positively. Sounds to me like thats what your seeking. If you make comments like that to women in front of your spouse, what do you say when you are not with your spouse?
2007-03-17 12:10:31 · answer #7 · answered by denise b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as is the life of being married, the women want to have their friends but won't allow you any. maybe your wifes friend has hinted at a 3some and your wife sees that in her head when you speak to her. do as I did, when the ex said I am gonna leave, I said, hope that's your final answer, cause when you start this thing, it's done. don't threaten me, i will make it happen, and I did. it is an evil thing when someone assaults you security every day , it's no way to live. and you can't kill her. it's against the law, too bad. I will bet you a nickel , your wife is doing her friend or another dude. she already has her future sex lined up so she doesn't do without.
2007-03-17 12:02:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
With all your answers given, I have to say with your wife talking to her friend, she more than likely talking about her life living with you. No husband flirts with the wifes friends-for sure.......this is wrong. So why whould you do that? Respect and communication is a start.
2007-03-17 12:23:44 · answer #9 · answered by uniquelyours19 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um....if you know it offends your wife, why do you keep doing it? I'm guessing she's not threatening to leave you just over the basic flirting at this point - she's threatening to leave you over the lack of consideration and respect for her feelings.
2007-03-17 12:02:31 · answer #10 · answered by romipenne 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
man....i know, you were just having fun, right? did you ever stop to think how uncomfortable your wife would feel hearing you say such things to someone else? no. and if that woman had any character, she would not appreciate it at all either, especially to hurt her friend like that. i don't, for the life of me, understand insensitive provocative flirting........I'll bet you are a Leo....knock it off, it is disrespectful and hurtful, and only fun for you at the one you Love's expense
2007-03-17 13:24:45 · answer #11 · answered by darlin12009 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋