If my husband keep telling me to wait and it's been a long time I'm loyal and I keep waiting on God, as I continue to live away from him believing he really loves me, he refuses to live with me but he continues to live in the big house with his sister and her husband that there dad and mom owns, I want to be sure, I don't want another diverse again,Christians,reply only please: I want it to be God's will before I give up, he's only 46, I take pretty good care of myself, I get hit on a lot but i still stay loyal to him even though were not together, my kids aren’t his & his kids aren’t mine, it's my 3ed marriage it's been 6 yrs married, he’s never been there financially or met my sexual or other needs 2 yrs separated now, I started all over living and raising my 3 kids alone like I did before we married him, he spends the night once in a while, and we keep in touch on the phone a lot, he had a heart attack 4 months ago but he was this way before, I still love him for no reason,
2007-03-17 10:18:14 · 20 answers · asked by busybobbie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, I wish you the best. If God is telling you to hold on, then that's what you do. I also like to say, that he is not a chirstian. He as a man need to read Proverbs (all of it ). A man is to leave his family and cleave to his wife and God ONLY!!! Honestly, if he has not been a man to you in all of those ways you have described and you have taken over as the head of household, then you need to continue to move on with your life. I will advise you to go to a therapist and see if there's something you are doing to cause the break ups in your life. That's not to say that there's a problem with you, but it could be in how you choose your mate. I don't make the best decision in picking my own men, I, like you, take care of myself and get allot of attention from the men around and even have had women to approach me( not my life style) I have a good job, beautiful apartment, nice car, I LOVE the LORD and I love going to church, but I choose the wrong men and I too have to find out why. I too have been married twice and trying to figure out is this relationship gonna last. He is the total oppossit of me. However, he is a good provider, as long as I keep check on his money, he is also good to me in bed, but he is not that emotional and you can't count on him when it's needed and you just can't depend on him. Your husband have gotten comfrotable with not being responsible and you have allowed him to behave this way. He is so wrong in every sense of the bible and christ does not like this. Move on continuously on your own. Don't let him keep staying when he is ready to stay, If he is not pleasing you in the bedroom, then how could you waist your time allowing him to botch something that suppose to bring you all closer. You are out on your own, time for you to stop leaving the ball in his court and tell him you are moving on and get on with your life. God want us to happy and this is not happiness. Maybe he is Gay. Have you thought about that? Take control of your life. Good luck.
2007-03-17 11:29:31 · answer #1 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a Christian, you should know that a husband doesn't live apart from his wife if he truly loves her. God isn't going to reach down and change his heart if the love isn't in his heart for you. You have held on well past what you should have. Accept the fact that your marriage was not made in heaven and that some people just marry the wrong person. As someone who knew what true love is, I can tell you that when you find that person that God has for you it is mutual and lifelong for you both, until he chooses it to end. The feeling doesn't falter, it only grows stronger, day after day and year after year. God gave me the help mate he promised for 16 long and beautiful years until he decided he needed her elsewhere. He has plans for you too, but it does not include the man that you chose to take along for the journey. The man that is destined to be with you will not leave your side no matter what happens in life so don't waste any more time. Follow your path without him. God Bless you in whatever you decide to do.
2007-03-17 10:39:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well since you started to rebuild your life again then keep doing it by letting him go. You shouldn't wait around like that, its so unhealthy. You aren't' his puppet or his dog so why all the loyalty when it hasn't changed your current situation?? Maybe if you just moved on then it might peak his interest a bit and he will realize that you are really gone and try to come back. Hopefully by then you will have a new man in your life that will treat you better and tell your husband to take a hike. Just remember that you two are seperated for a reason. Good luck.
2007-03-17 10:48:39 · answer #3 · answered by CeeCee19 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, love is not an action, it's a function! If you put your life on hold waiting for a man who'll never change even after a heartache, and he hasn't come to see you, or your children, except for once in a while, then I think that it is time for you to move on. You say that you have lived in separate places for two years now, and you have three kids, when he married you six years ago his children as well as yours became a family. Does he think that you will wait for him forever? "A day without laughter is a day waisted!"
attack
2007-03-17 10:47:59 · answer #4 · answered by Lannette FJ405M19907 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is living a single life and having his wife on the side. It is not right. This is not a marriage. Marriage is about love and this man does not love you. If he loved you, he would be living with you and acting like a husband. You do not love him, you love the man you thought you married. This man doesn't know the meaning of marriage or love. God will always love you, choose what is best for you and your children and God will be there for you no matter what you do.
2007-03-17 10:28:32 · answer #5 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess it depends on why you seperated. 2 years i a long time to wait for someone to come around. but knowing that he can when ever he wants and still not have to stay true to his commitment...why wouldn't he stay seperated? he's living the best of both worlds and you are letting. you need to cut him off completely and keep your relationship strickly business. read the book Boundaries or When The One you Love Wants to Leave. You currently are a door mat. The bible has lots to say about establishing boundaries. Even God will not wait FOREVER for us to come aroud and except him in our lives. There will be a day when he will come back for his people, ready or not and the ones who are not will miss the boat. 2 years waiting...is too long. But read those books, they will be a GREAT help. start gettting a back bone and grow and strength your self.
2007-03-17 11:17:29 · answer #6 · answered by goodtalkin' 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my. Well i would say your in a tough spot but to make this all short and sweet I think it has gone on long enough for you and YOUR KIDS. You need someone that can be there for you and them both. Im not saying to cheat while your still married. But file for divorce. And get yours. Meaning a man that can be there and not at his sisters! I hope maybe all of this will help.
Best of luck.
2007-03-17 10:35:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but i would leave him... there is no hope... he is using you and it is time for you to see it... what kind of example are you setting for your kids? is this the kind of woman you want your son to bring home to meet you? is this the type of woman you want your daughter to become? life is too short for you to be playing with your life and your children's life... you have no kids with this man and from the sounds of it he does not love you anymore... if he wants to live with his family let him... you have been making it this far in your life why question now? be strong and let god lead you... but this foolishness you don't have to take..... good luck and may god be with you...
2007-03-17 11:25:57 · answer #8 · answered by Shonda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not God's will that you be in this relationship. God sees marriage as a financial, sexual and emotional committment. You have said here that your husband is not any of those.
Let this relationship go. This is not right nor healthy for you.
2007-03-17 10:22:50 · answer #9 · answered by Pixie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree you love him for "no reason" because there certainly doesn't appear to be one. The two of you need couples counseling and make it clear to him that it's time to live as husband and wife, or go your separate ways. Stringing you along for 2 years is cruel for him and foolish for you to tolerate it.
Take control of your life and your relationship.
2007-03-17 10:22:38 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋