What is this guy's problem??

Question

This morning me and my bf (he's 50 I'm late 30's and we live together) were getting ready to cook breakfast and joking aroung, having a good time! Playing with the dog, all was well with the world. He starts making bacon, I start unloading the full dishwaser. I was near the silverware drawer, he was near the plates cabinet. I put everything in the top of the dw away and said you do the plates I'll do the silverware. So I start putting away the siverware and he WALKS AWAY. I'm like yo silly, where ya going. To the bathroom he says. I wanted to cook breakfast and it was all clear but the plates. I'm like dude put the dishes up and then go to the bathroom and I'll cook breakfast. He's like no, I'm going to the bathroom. I'm like YO - put the dishes up turkey and he's like IN A MINUTE. grrrrrr.... I got so pissed off, he DOES this crap sometimes, just OUT OF THE BLUE he gets all beligerant and disagreeable. Like he has to NOT CONFORM or something. makes me want to pack & leave

Answer 1

You're involved in a power struggle. You want him to do something and "right now" is what you had in mind, but he won't cooperate. He'll resist your leadership, even though it's for something so insignificant. He doesn't want to be told what to do by you, plain and simple. This can be a major source of disagreement between you two, or you can learn to work with his natural tendencies. Whenever you want him to do something, ask but don't put a time limit on it. Ask simply, "When you get a minute, could you please empty the dishes from the dishwasher?" and leave it at that. Most of the time what will happen is that he's more than happy to put the dishes in the cabinet, he just doesn't want to be pushed into it on your time schedule. Silly? Totally. Unusual? No.

Answer 2

I'm not sure why it was a problem for him to go to the bathroom. Was he going to be gone for the rest of the day? Are there some sort of urinary or digestive issues that would prevent him from returning to the kitchen to continue the dishes? Or did you just make a huge deal out of him taking a piss before he DIDN'T do what you had asked. If he went to the bathroom and then sat in front of the TV for the next four hours, I might be with you. But as far as I can see from your post, you don't know what he was going to do after the toilet trip. Might want to back off on the assumptions that he's running out on the chores BEFORE he actually does it.

Answer 3

Ade, i maybe sound rude thats why hes like that.you know we guys dont like to be boss around.so baby go easy on the poor guy or i will come and take you away :~) x