Females molested my mother figure:?

Question

My question is this, does anyone know any female that was molested by there mother figure, (in my case, my adopted mother). And whether or not you have, how do you deal with intense hatred for the person. No, letters do not work and i simply don't have the means to go to psyh doctors. Any new light or ideas are welcome.


For the record, i have put this Q up in a different area and since everyone wanted to be so negitive, I will be very honest in saying, i'm NOT playing victim here and i'm NOT looking for sympathy. This has happened to me and there isin't a week that goes by that I don't feel intense hatred. I'm trying to get over it and that is why i ask, i'm trying to move on in life. So Baby Yaga, go jump off a cliff!

OOPS!!! It meant to say BY mother figure!!!

she was 35ish and I was 8-10 years old. I'm 23 now. she did it as 'punishment' and caused alot of pain. then if this story wasn't screwed up enough, last year i just found out she isin't really my mother!

Answer 1

No never by my mother, but I've been more than molested by several men. I don't think you're playing victim and I know exactly how you feel. Ive felt intense hatred not only for the men who harmed me but for myself. Sometimes I felt guilty or like I deserved what happened to. I don't know if you ever get over it because you won't forget. I think you just have to accept it, if possible tell the people that hurt you how they made you feel (the ones that were close to you like your mother figure). And you have to learn to forgive yourself first and then your mother figure, whether she is sorry or not. Accept that she did wrong and you had no control over so you can't let that dreadful memory from your past keep haunting your thoughts. You have to move on and realize what you are worth. Don't allow anything that anyone does to you make you feel less of a person. I never wanted to go the therapist either, to this day I haven't out of shame. Sometimes it is good just to let out your feeling even if it isnt with a therapist. Once you let it all out, the screams, tears, whatever it is you have inside, you'll slowly start healing. Just forgive sweetie, you will be alright. We didn't deserve what happened to us, and we aren't going to let that hold us down ok?

Answer 2

It sounds like you really do not know what to do. I really feel bad that you cannot find a better way of dealing with your past. I seriously recommend two things. First get in touch with your spiritual side and ask God for guidance. If you don't believe, that is too bad, but not uncommon, I will still pray for you. 2nd, I know you said you do not have means to go to a psych, I am not sure if that means transportation and or money. Anyway, most counties in the 50 states have Community Mental Health/Counseling Agencies. These type of agencies will charge on a sliding scale fee, the clients do not pay even if they do not have insurance. The therapist in this type of environment are used to transportation problems and may be able to help with ideas about best ways to get you to your appointments. I admire you for asking for help and no longer wanting your past to control you. Others may provide you with some good advice and direction, but you are the only one (besides God) that can put this behind you. You move forward in life not solely with the help of others, but primarily by the strength, courage and effort YOU put into it. If you are still in contact with this person, it may be very helpful for you, at this time, to distance yourself, or disconnect from her completely. If you decide to try the Community Agencies and need help you can e-mail me, I will help you find one in your area.

Answer 3

Yes, I know of several women who were molested by Mothers or their Mother figure. In many ways, it is worse than molestation by Dad, Uncle, neighbor, etc. Mothers are supposed to be trusted protectors. I am so very sorry for your immense pain.
Please do consider finding a safe place to talk things over. I live in one of the economically poorest states in the Union, but we can get free therapy here--the Mental Health foundations in all states are Federally funded. You can get help, and you deserve to have it.
I am afraid that you may be victimized by some of the answers here on YA. There are just not that many informed opinions on this subject.
Take care.
Good luck

Answer 4

It is sad but true that not all molesters are men. The best advice that I can give you other than going to see a professional, is to separate yourself from this woman, and have nothing to do with her. But before you do so, I would highly recommend you telling her exactly how you feel, and how she has messed you up, and your feelings for her. You have nothing to lose, tell her off, then move on, and try to put the past behind you. If you ever see this woman around small children again, and feel that she is doing to them what she did to you, report her!

Answer 5

I appreciate u saying that u are not looking for sympathy--I have known friends saying the same thing that commited sucide. The female figure was evidently a true lesbian or maybe a bi-sexual on drugs. Never the less; that leaves you, and ur are saying u cannot afford therapy-- hey ,that's fine --all I kn. is to bond with someone--hey--I really don't know what to say-

Answer 6

So many questions !
Are you the mother?
If you are not the mother how old is every body?
You ask for a serious answer,but i can understand why no one was serious with an answer.
Please sit down with a piece of paper and reformulate your question.

Answer 7

whoa, someone told you you were playing the victim??? wow, what a horrible person! i feel very sorry for you, and i hope you find some help! i will pray for you.

Answer 8

Yes I do.