Should I get a divorce or put my dreams aside to be with the man I love?

Question

Before my husband and I got married he told me he wanted to have children with me. Now over 2 years into marriage he came home to tell me "no children" My whole life I have dreamed about being a mother and now I have to choose between my husband and wanting to be a mother. HELP

Answer 1

Get accidentally pregnant - then see what he REALLY wants - then you will be a mother and know what to do about divorce -

Answer 2

have you asked him why he has decided this? it seems abit of a drastic statement! i think in a relationship especially a marriage there has to be some give and take , he cannot tell you in one hand that he wants children then after 2 yrs of marriage tun around and say no. if he had told you before you got married that he didnt want children would you have still married him?

are you willing to sacrifice not having any children for this man that at the end of the day does not seem to taking your feelings into consideration.

i had a little girl out of marriage and am no longer with her father and it was the worse situation for me to be in and not the way i imagined to have children , however i have never felt such a deep love for an individual as i do my daughter.

think hard about this

good luck

Answer 3

well kerris its your life, and you only get to live once. You've been married for 2 years and the truth is your growing older every minute of the day. Time is one thing you can never control, but if you use it wisely you might achieve what you desire. From what i see, you have too choices; keep on living that life and years later let your life be filled with grief and regrets simply because you were not true and honest with yourself in the past. Or you can start over and BE HAPPY with your life. Life doesn't always give you what you want, sometimes you must go out and get it yourself.
Its a tough path indeed i know, but we live and learn, don't be afraid to start over. This life gives us many chances to correct our mistakes but fear always draws us back. But you have to believe in yourself.

best of luck

Answer 4

I think maybe he never wanted any children. You will have to do some sole searching on this one, whatever you choose to do it will be the right thing for you to do. What a place to be in, but the thing is the older you get the harder the yearnings will be and the maybe you will have resentments towards your hubby, then hating him, can you leave having him as a good friend, if that is what you want , can you sit down and talk to him about it.
Best of luck whatever u decide to do.

Answer 5

That's unfair of him to do that to you. If you spoke to him before getting married about having children and he said he wanted them then, you married him with the expectation that you both wanted the same thing. Has he given an explanation as to why he's changed his mind? You need to tell him that you were under the impression that he had wanted children and that you want them badly. This is a deal breaker. Tell him that even if you choose to stay with him and agree to have no children you will most likely end up resenting him for not allowing you to enjoy and realize your dream. My daughter is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and if my husband hadn't wanted children, we wouldn't have gotten married.

Answer 6

I dont think anyone can really answer this one for you. Your husband knew you wanted children when he said I DO. I myself would confront him with the fact that you want children and the fact that he does not has made you reassess the marrige, see where he goes with it and like always follow your heart. I think that years of not having children will eventually turn into resintment for your husband and it's hard to love someone under those circumstances. You have alot of sole searching to do, and I wish you the best, My prayers will be with you and your husband.

Answer 7

1. Find out what changed his mind. (Or if he in fact DID change his mind -- maybe he hasn't wanted kids all along and you didn't want to acknowledge it at some level?)

2. For the love of God, don't "accidentally" get pregnant. Respect his wishes. If someone tells you they don't want kids, forcing the issue isn't going to fix that, and it's no fair to the child, who may grow up with a sense of being unwanted. Kids are a lot more perceptive than we give them credit for.

3. If his reasons for not wanting kids are that he doesn't like them and has no desire to be a parent, you have to make a decision. Begging, pleading and trying to persuade him are a mistake. If having kids is more important to you than staying with this man, then you are going to have to leave him.

Good luck to you.

Answer 8

I think you need to talk more about this. Does he mean no children right this moment, or no children ever?

Having kids is a big topic that couples must cover before marriage. If he isn't willing to budge and you will regret not having children, you will need to find another partner.

Answer 9

Find out why the sudden change of heart. I would discuss it with him and see about going to counseling. If he doesn't want children then it's selfish to have them without his consent..many children come into this world this way unfortunately. And if after counseling he still hasn't changed his mind I would talk to him about divorce and see what his feelings are abouse loosing you all together.

Answer 10

You need to really sit with him and have a heart to heart letting him know how important it is for you. It is kind of a tough situation to be in because you are married but try and give him a little time to come around before you consider divorce.