I have a lover, who is a lover and nothing more. In the beginning, I did want something more. But I gave that up, when I realised he just wanted the physical. I do have some feelings for him. Lately he's not been treating me with respect. And I've realised that he thinks I'll always meet him anyway. I've decided not to, to stop seeing him. And to be short when he texts me and tell him that I don't have time. That will teach him a lesson, cause we both know it will be hard for him to find someone else, and he knows it won't be hard for me to find someone new. Do you have any other suggestions about what I should do?
2007-03-17 08:18:34 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I don't think it is teaching him a lesson if he doesn't know what he is being cut off for. Now that you are not having sex ,talk in your text's about being treated with respect and feelings as a person and not a sex object.
2007-03-17 08:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep thinking that way and later on you might find out how dumb you might feel later on and how much you might want him. Life is a hard thing.
I wanted to add this: This is one reason that people can write so many books about how men and women are supposedly different, and why they can therapize so many relationships.
I think that if I said this I would be right, is there any men that can explain this to us.
To men a relationship consist of doing his thing with "his" woman and having his independence so he can work and maneuver and be the bread winner, and all the time that she thinks he is just using her he is falling in love and coming to trust that she is there and so he gets comfortable and falls in love with her.
A woman on the other hand is taught to make that man love her and so not to give in to him and that it is only his way of using her and to find another one that will really love her and so she is all the time getting unattached from this dude that is so called using her so she can move on.
It is a hard thing to explain. Having a real and lasting relationship means the give and take, if he has been there for a long time he is probably thinking that you love him and will always be there for him, that is why he feels like he can do this.
You are getting ready to mess this up if you still want him, if not move on. Otherwise hang on tight to him and just be there if he is not already attached to someone else.
2007-03-17 08:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by Friend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that I can say is to stop seeing him because even though you both see this as a mutual physical thing, this same behavior will continue to go on simply because it is only physical. Since, you're both nothing more than lovers to each other, he thinks he can treat you like a play thing when you Are Human and you need to make this clear to him. Since you don't want to leave him, tell him how he's treating you and what you want from him because if you don't he'll continue to do this and you need to make yourself clear or leave him alone. You deserve better than this - than to be called someone's lover.
2007-03-17 08:30:41 · answer #3 · answered by Dimples 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has always been disrespectful, he just figured out that he can openly do it and get away with it. Severing the interaction completely is probably the best idea, for you. If you are capable of finding someone else who will do right by you, then do just that.
2007-03-17 08:23:48 · answer #4 · answered by Girly-Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you were just a booty call for him but us women have a tendency to take things more personal lol but just let him know how you feel and if he doesnt feel the same way you need to move on its not healthy to be in a relationship when your the only one trying
2007-03-17 08:28:36 · answer #5 · answered by esnoopyl7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have it pegged. Don't respond to his text messages, don't take his calls and find someone else to treat you with respect. You go girl.....
2007-03-17 08:22:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
short of sticking a bear trap in there in case he tries anything, i think you got it covered
2007-03-17 08:22:22 · answer #7 · answered by lovestomooch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone else...
2007-03-17 08:22:15 · answer #8 · answered by YaShen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be a man and just tell him "i dont want to see you anymore"!
2007-03-17 08:39:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you're doing it just fine.
2007-03-17 08:25:45 · answer #10 · answered by ann s 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋