How do I get people to stop being so stereotypical about my hair?

Question

I have red hair, and usually I'm in a pretty cool mood. But sometimes I, like everyone else, get angry, and when I do people say "Oh, she's showing off her redhead side," or "Finally acting like the redhead you are, Kaylie?" And that only makes me angrier. How do I get them to STOP being so stereotypical?

Answer 1

Well, you cant, people will tease you. The best thing to do is try your best to ignore it.

Answer 2

Talk to them one-on-one about it when you are NOT angry. Point out that everyone gets angry sometimes and you get angry no more often than everyone else. Ask for their help in teaching other people how stereotypical and unfair that is. Tell them you really value their friendship and you hope they'll see that it's painful to you when they speak about you as if you're abnormal because you happen to have beautiful red hair. ;-)

The reason I say one-on-one is that if you talk with them together they might feed off of one another and that won't help!

But then if they continue to do it, ignore it or hang out with different people. If they get attention and a reaction for their insensitive comments, they'll just do it more. Believe it or not that's a scientifically proven way behavior works.

Answer 3

Stereotypes exist for a reason. This is unfortunate, because stereotyping causes many people a good deal of difficulty, because they feel that a certain set of stereotypes sells them short, as a person. While I would agree that this is true, the function of a stereotype is to reduce a large number of people down to statistics that can be treated impersonally. In that sense, a stereotype serves its purpose.
In your case, however, I think it is less stereotyping as it is fetishizing, and I don't mean the kinky kind. What I mean is, in many old traditions, red hair meant many things, but usually powerful emotions were among them. Eventually, many folk beliefs become outmoded, becoming relegated to superstition, and later, something to harmlessly tease you about. It is often said that persons of Irish descent are hot-tempered, and red hair is thought to be more common among the Irish than amoung other caucasian people. Funny, though, most ethnicities are said to be hot tempered by any number of other ethnicities, possibly even all of them. So really, I think it really comes down to people teasing you about getting upset. Possibly, you are upset at the time, and failing to see that they are trying to tell you to calm down, but in a nice way. If someone is teasing you, getting upset only gives them fuel, right? So if they are really using a stereotype to antagonize you, let it go so you can defuse it.

Answer 4

Girl I know exactly how you feel..I'm not a red-head, but I get upset every once and a while--just as every other human being on the planet--and my family members make a Big Deal about it..That really pisses me off, because its like people expect me to have this friggin Mary Poppins persona 24 hours a day..Those people who are saying that to you are just repeating some silly superstition they've heard through the years. Whenever I see some serial killer or child predator on TV--none of them have red hair--so tell those people to shut the f@%& up --no, just kidding :)

Answer 5

Kaylie, sweetheart, I don't think that it's being so much stereotypical as it's kind of "folk-tale" about redheads. Besides, if people resort to saying what you percieve to be stereotypical things about being angry, tell them "I'm not angry: I'm determined and driven and I'm a "firebrand" (meaning that your determination and drive are burned into your soul and your personality). It'll let people know that you are a confidant person, and a lot of people will admire you for it.

Answer 6

unfortunately , people assiocate red hair and bad tempers or hot tempers.They don't seem to realize sometimes that all humans no matter what color hair they have get angry.

I would suggest not letting the comments bother you, sometimes people will say things because they know it bothers us. If you don't react to the comments , then they may stop saying them to you

remember all people have tempers and demonstrate anger, people seem to notice more when its a red head, just like blonde's people assiocate blond hair with the person being dumb

Answer 7

Bottom line honey is that you're gonna have to get thick-skinned about that and suck it up. You can't change people. Humans have the tendancy to mock or exploit the most obvious feature about you. Look at those "carictature" artists. They exploit you if you're fat, skinny, or whatever! So just smile and get on with it.

You're probably a major hottie with that red hair, aren't ya??!! ;-)

Answer 8

Girlfriend, you can't control what people think. We are human! Even if we've done everything in our power to not live up to stereotypical ways, people are still going to talk and say things out of the way. As long as you know who you are, and love the person you are, that's all that matters.

Answer 9

Make joke about your hair when your not really angry if they see that they jokes don't bother you, they might stop.

Answer 10

stupid ppl are to be seen, not heard. plz don't let it upset you. you're giving them the satisfaction of getting you angry. (and i think red hair is so pretty :) It makes me think 'royalty')