Suppose you, as a male, had a woman as your sex-buddy & you were having a lot of fun with her when you were single. But then suddenly one day you met another woman with whom you wanted to pursue a relationship (i.e. you're getting a girlfriend) - in this case, you have to end your affair with your sex-buddy. But how will you go about telling that to your sex-buddy? Will you just say "I found a new girlfriend, so I want to stop this thing with you"? Is that enough?
In my opinion, humans are all emotional beings.- even though in American culture, we have the liberty of having sexual fun with anyone whom we feel appropriate at any point of time in our life, but still you have to realize that sex always carries it’s baggage of emotions. So, even if we think that we can have as much sex as we want and we can end it at anytime, we have to realize that the persons involved in it are always gonna get emotional about it.
So, in this case, if you tell her that you just wanna end this thing – that is not gonna work. She will say ok, but deep inside she will be hiding a feeling of sorrow that she has lost someone. So, I expect any man in this situation to act more responsible & comfort her so that she can get through this affair-ending easily. So, this is what I would expect you to say:
“Honey – I just wanna let you know that I found a new woman & I wanna have her as my girlfriend & I know that I have had a lot of fun with you, but I guess we will have to end it now.” Although she will say “yes, it’s ok” – you have to realize that she is going to be terribly uncomfortable and sad about it. If she starts showing signs that she is in fact feeling that way (or even if she isn’t, I still recommend you to say this), you must sit down with her, put your hands on her shoulder and comfort her and tell her:
“Hey – I understand how you are feeling and I feel so much for you – but remember when we started our affair, we knew that we have to end it at any time according to any situation that arises. But I know how much you have been there for me, how much you have supported me, given me pleasure anytime I wanted – and I want to tell you that though I am gonna end it now, I am not completely forgetting or leaving you. You are going to be single, so I will support you through this time & I will be there for you when you need me at any time, although I will not involve with you romantically. But I will be there as your close friend, a companion whom you can come to anytime you want & I will even help you find a special new boyfriend with whom you can have even more fun than you had with me! So chin up and realize that this is the reality which you promised to endure, but keep faith in yourself, cause you will always have someone you can count on – that person is me.”
NOTE: Again, this is entirely my point of view – so it will be open for criticism of any sort. But I expect any person who wants to have such liberal sexual fun, to act the same way – remember people, you can have fun – but with fun, always comes responsibility. And I also expect women who have male sex-buddies to do the same thing.
2007-03-17 07:48:34 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
No, every situation is different. Every relationship is different. Every person is different. In my case, I just let my 'relationship' with my "sex-buddy" gradually die off. You can't expect every man to say "I'll still always be there for you." Every man is different. Personally, I can never be friends with a girl that I dated or had sex with before. It just does not work that way for everyone. And for me, in my case at least, no explanation was necessary or expected of me if I chose to end my relationship at any time. In your case it might have been. Like I said, I believe every relationship is different. Emotions and relationships are subjective and can't be defined, and choices can't be made for other people. You know what is right for you, not for anyone else. And vice versa.
And of course there's responsibility when fooling around, like not getting her pregnant. But it is not NECESSARILY a responsibility to 'be there for her' or to be a 'companion' after you decide to leave.
2007-03-17 08:00:33 · answer #1 · answered by brian 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She knew or should have know that she waould be out ranked when a potential GF came along.
2007-03-17 09:49:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you got to be kidding me.i dont have time to read a book.
2007-03-17 08:01:08 · answer #3 · answered by BLOODHOUND 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Please stop posting the same question.
2007-03-17 09:33:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋