A woman and I met through business and we were both married. She was going through a separation and my marriage was dead. We live 2000 miles apart and she has a son and me 2 girls (all young). Saying all that here is the situation: I leave my wife and she leaves her son to live here...we are soulmates....i struggle with guilt from breaking up the family..so she leaves and I was going to try to make a go of it with my wife...one week after she left..she calls and tells me she is pregnant..I tell my wife I want to go ahead and go through with the divorce so I can have the new baby in my life and my pregnant girlfriend is coming here to live so I can be a part of the baby's life .Now my pregnant girlfriend tells me she wants to stay out there because she cant leave her son.I am strapped finacially of course and think it would be best to just cancel the divorce and go back to my wife..but that would mean not having the baby in my life,on top of that I dont even love my wife. what a mess.
2007-03-17 07:36:26 · 15 answers · asked by MakeThingsRight 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wholly s.h.i.t! After reading all of this, I decided I don't have any problems!
2007-03-17 08:59:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, never marry a woman because of a baby. Same goes with staying married because of a child. A marriage is only for TWO people in love. If there's no love there then you'll be living in hell for the remainder of your married life. I'm can't tell you what to do but what I would do is go ahead with the divorce and stay with the girlfriend. Oh, make sure the baby that you "wife" is pregenant with is really yours. If so, choose to pay child support and when the baby's old enough to know, call to say hello, write letters, etc. Just stay in contact so if the day every comes where you can meet, he or she won't hate you. Hope this helps a little.
2007-03-17 15:18:58 · answer #2 · answered by dg27576 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are so damn selfish. Oh now you wanna go back to your wife b/c your girlfriend is staying home now?.....How dare you.!!?? Did it ever occur to you that maybe she wants to have a new life? You screwed up your family and then got the nerve to make a new one and when that isn't working out use your wife and play with her and your kids. You're an asshole. Divorce your wife. Let her go. It's clear you don't wanna make it work with her. Let her heal so she can be a good mom to your kids. The other woman is smart enough to know that you playing games and that is why she staying. Doesn't feel good to get back what you did to your wife. I just hope your wife leaves your sorry *** alone and move on. I bet she will find someone better than you that can treat her well. And I hope she does. All this is a result of your triflin *** and you deserve to get this mess. You made your bed now lie in it....ha ha...
2007-03-17 15:31:11 · answer #3 · answered by new life abundant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are between a rock and hard place in life. why would you want to stay with your wife if you don't love her. get the divorce, don't stay because of the girls they will feel the loveless marriage. it is better to be happy without her then be miserable with her. Kids adjust to divorce better than you think, i know i had two kids when i divorced they turned out fine.. now as for the G/F and new baby. why can't she bring her son to be with you, does his father have custody ? you can't move that far away from your girls they were in your life before the new baby will be. i would say go ahead with the divorce move into a place of your own get use to the idea of be single again, and if you love the other woman and she loves you things have a way of working out. take one day at at a time..if the other woman wants to be with you then she will help you figure it out..good luck
2007-03-17 14:47:59 · answer #4 · answered by raven1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a very bad situation. i think if you can not work things out with your wife then yes divorce is probably the right choice. you must be a parent that is one thing you can not ever divorce. so take care of your kids all of them. your new (lover) girlfriend, well you cant not make her leave her son that is her priority and also the new baby too. but you must. be a man and stand up for all your mistakes and take care of each one at a time. focus and be true to you and everyone else. in the long run things do work out. don't ever leave your kids...
2007-03-17 14:47:51 · answer #5 · answered by Ana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh what a tangled web we weave...
when we first pratice to concieve....
You're f***ked for th rest of your life.
You think you're financially strapped now, add child support.
However, and many are going hate me for this, if she's that far away, how do you know the baby's yours?
I'm not so sure you'd want to go back to a wife that would have you after this fiasco, your marrage will be a ticking time bomb.
GF is fickle, you go out there, you might have nothing anyway.
2007-03-17 15:51:33 · answer #6 · answered by mt_hopper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the divorce- move half way between be a good parent to your kids and don't marry the girlfriend but be in the babies life. If is not fair to your wife to be in a loveless marriage let her have a chance to be happy too. If you know that you too can't work it out.
2007-03-17 14:40:43 · answer #7 · answered by justwondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yup that is a mess. if you don't love your wife -- divorce her. however, don't leave your 2 girls and move across the country. why would you want a woman that would sleep with a married man who is not using protection? are you 100% sure that is your baby? i just don't think you should give up EVERYTHING to move away from your 2 girls to be with this other woman.
2007-03-17 14:41:34 · answer #8 · answered by curious_One 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow I dont know what to say Thats a very messy situation!! I dont believe in the soulmate crap and I feel more for your wife than you! Why would either on of you put yourself in that situation!!
You need to grow up and think about everyone but yourself it seems like!
2007-03-17 14:56:42 · answer #9 · answered by Sheri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what is wrong with your judgement?you are all over the place and bringing children into situations that they will carry into their lives through no doings of their own.you have disrespected another mans marriage and your own and it sounds like you don't expect any repercussions from your actions.you are right you have created this mess because you were only thinking of your needs and those needs were of the flesh.what kind of men will your daughters look for when they are able? what will they expect from the love of a man when their own father has so little control of his own desires that he doesn't care who he hurts as long as he gets what he wants.
2007-03-17 14:49:13 · answer #10 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do they call people who don't use birth control? Parents. And hon, every child deserves not to be a mistake. You're right, what a mess. You are thinking with your little head, not your big one.... sorry for you. And I have no idea what you ought to do. In your gf's place, I'd get an abortion, and get on with my life without you in it. In your place, I'd help her pay for it.
2007-03-17 15:17:01 · answer #11 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋