what possible causes makes a man NOT interested in sex.
im 29 he's 36.. i am sexy,, i dress sexy for him..i try ALL kinds of different idea's..different positions..places..food, toys..u name it..ive tried! most times i get..im just tierd..or i dont feel like it.. he tells me that i am very sexy and that he hasnt lost interest in me..BUT his actions speak otherwise...
we've had problems with cheating in our past..and i cant help but wonder if maybe hes getting it somewhere else?
is his behavior normal..?
heres some history...
married almost 10 years..4 kids..were financially stable..
we do argue and fight alot..had problems with cheating for both of us in the past..
he doesnt say he loves me..he says that he doesnt 'think' to say it..that i will have to say it first..and then he will..
he doesnt kiss or hug me...he says its not in his 'makeup'...but i bring to his attention..that it used to be!!!
i feel alone and sexualy unsatisfied!! help...
2007-03-17 07:32:57 · 9 answers · asked by lisa baby... 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we BOTH cheated..him first..then me
2007-03-17 07:51:08 · update #1
SOLOW321- assuming that a women cant be sexy after 4 kids is very ignorant and innacurate...
i dont know where ur info comes from my friend but ur grossly mistaken!
2007-03-17 08:03:29 · update #2
Men who still have hormones will tell you that your husband is getting it on the side. Those who don't have hormones anymore will tell you not to worry about it because it happens to "everyone" eventually and that it's just part of your relationship "maturing".
The fact that you feel "alone and sexually unsatisfied" is the crux of the matter. It sounds like you have talked this problem to death with your husband. You're arguing and fighting, you've both cheated on each other, and your communication skills apparently suck big-time.
Your only hope of saving this marriage and having some degree of happiness for yourself and your children is marital counseling. If you don't do that, you're eventually going to find another guy that's going to light your fire and wander again. You'll justify that in your mind because your husband doesn't show you any affection or talk to you anymore and - after all - you deserve some happiness.
Lots of danger signals here. Heed them and get both you and your husband into counseling NOW. You've got a lot of work to do and it's going to take a lot of effort and time. The children you brought into this world require your very best effort.
2007-03-17 09:04:48 · answer #1 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sounds like it is time to trade him in for a new one! He is bored with you and is getting it some where else or has a problem. When you go to bed tonight just run your hand onto his stomach then let it slip on down. If he pushes you away, tell him you just want to play with your toy. If everything is working he should get an erection. That could be a physical problem. Men are usually very protective of the fact they can’t get an erection. Age doesn’t always play a part in it. Some men lose that ability around thirty while others can still function past sixty. You may have to face the fact he doesn’t love you any more!
You say you are sexy, and dress sexy for him. Almost thirty and four kids! Let us know how it goes.
2007-03-17 07:56:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
you should know with married couples, it is not like with single people, the ATTITUDE is most important, you can't lure him as if you were single, you have to considere the whole package now. you say there are trust issues-is this you way of saying you cheated? i believe it is, well marraige is about COMMITEMENT, adultery would destroy many relationships, point blank. W/ marraige it goes far beyond acting sexy, you are adding insult to injury if you even think sexy clothes and silly toys would do the trick, at this stage.
i feel he is a deeper person than you, sex to him meant something, it was more than just physical sex, he has emotioanally withdrawn from you to not get hurt again, this makes sense, all i can say is live a wholesome lifestyle, be quiet, be good, you broke his trust, period. forget about 'sexy things', let him see you are sincere this time, sounds like this man was wounded, be the adult you are, he does not want a good time girl at this time, he can get that anywhere.
2007-03-17 07:48:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage is on a se-saw right now and it could go one way or the other. This is the beginning of failure if you don't get help. You are doing the right thing by asking for help....but no one here on answers can tell you what to do. The paragraph you have written is just not enough. Please seek counseling before your marriage fails. Sounds like you are unsatisfied and so does he. Unsatisfied people make stupid mistakes in a marriage. Get help fast. Good Luck.
2007-03-17 07:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by sugarbud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely hon, he's YOUR husband, so how approximately chatting with him approximately it???!! Like, discover out what's on his recommendations. Jeez, make the problem, regardless of each and every thing he's your husband and it is your marriage. a sturdy start up could be getting off the pc and passing a while with him, huh..... hint hint....
2016-12-18 16:11:24 · answer #5 · answered by miracle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on, honey, wake up, smell the coffee at a hot guy's house! Your husband doesnt want you anymore! Move on, move up and move forward!
2007-03-17 07:48:25 · answer #6 · answered by lee911 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me he is not in love ,or maybe he is with somebody else.i know i never turn down sex from my wife.maybe he is afraid to get close thinking there is a trust issue.communication is the best thing .go with your heart
2007-03-17 08:27:08 · answer #7 · answered by Bob K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if your husband is filling his needs elsewhere. It doesn'tn not sound as the problem is with you, rather with him.
2007-03-17 07:38:58 · answer #8 · answered by realmagic14 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a man...but my guess is HE'S GOT A HO on the side.
2007-03-17 07:51:22 · answer #9 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋