What do I do, my son walked in twice when I was in the shower?

Question

My almost 15 year old son has opened my bathroom door and came in when I was in the shower. My husband says its just hormones. I said he's a pervert and needs counseling, what kid in their right mind would want to look at their mother in the shower? I need fast advice! What do I do? Also, just lately I have banned my son from my computer because he kept going to porn sights and it was very costly to fix my computer. By the way he's a straight A honor student and does not ever get into any trouble. When I seen he had come into my bathroom I yelled at him to get out, and asked him what the hell he was doing. And he said nothing then got out. Is he a total weirdo? What do I do? My husband just yelled at him. Now I don't even want to be around him. I thought we have had a pretty normal relationship, I just am totaly confused why he would act like this. What is wrong with him?

Answer 1

You don't state whether he was doing anything in the bathroom when you realized he was there. I don't know his actual maturity level compared to his age, but if he's still "innocent" maybe he just came in to get something? I think you need to talk to him, perhaps with your husband present. Give the benefit of a doubt that it was not "perverted" and also explain why you're uncomfortable with it. And it could be innocent curiosity as to what a female body looks like, as icky as that might seem to you. That would also probably explain the porn sites. Maybe the two issues are related, maybe not. (But yes, lock the door in the future!)

But if you and/or your husband can't discuss this with him, then I'd say a neutral 3rd party, clergy or counselor, might help get to the bottom of it.

Remember that he's going through that stage of life where he needs to begin learning what women are all about. And depending on how open your family is regarding topics of a sexual nature, he may seek his own sources. It would be better if you and your spouse could talk to him, or at least provide him with resources. He's going to get exposed to the subject through friends, movies, music, TV, and all around, so it's wise to have a hand in how he processes the information.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Twice is about the limit, I would say. He is definitely curious about sex and porn does satisfy that curiosity. You can put filters on your computer so that he can't view porn, I believe, instead of banning him from using the computer. Although, if he is curious, he's going to try a lot of ways to get close to the subject.
What you should do is have your husband have a talk with him, not yell at him! And you should have a talk with him too, perhaps the same night, and tell him about all the tabus in society that he should already know about. I'll bet he has friends who have been curious about their sisters' bodies and had the same talks from their parents. His age is when those hormones are really kicking in, that is true. The best thing you can do is be a positive supporter of his social life involving girls (parties, dates, etc.) and have your father give him the talk about condoms and give him a supply of condoms. Don't expect him to use the condoms but ask him to consider that if he is ever in the situation, he should have them there ready for use.

Answer 3

No lock on the door? How about a face to face talk with your son , did he walk in on you before he was 15, ask your self some questions first. Banning him from the computer good luck do you have a lock and key for the room its in?

Answer 4

Since he was band from the computer guess you are the next best thing. I would put a lock on the bathroom door first. Second I would have a conversation with him in front of your husband you need to air out your feelings because not saying anything is only going to make things more uncomfortable.

Answer 5

Hi. Sorry to hear about this. You sound really worried and stressed out.

I'd say talk to him, with your husband there. Ask him what is going on in his head. Reaffirm your love for him as parents and tell him you want him to trust you both.

Then make an appointment with both a religious person and a psychiatrist. You go first -with your husband-and after that you go again, all three of you.

Hopefully, this is a stage that is part of his growing up.

But letting it just slide by, and doing nothing about it is not good. He is testing his limits and he's trying to find out just how far he can go....You have to let him know in no unclear terms what is and what isn't allowed in your house, and why.
Good luck!

Answer 6

I have known kids who have had "mommy issues". Make sure your husband has had "the talk" with him. Explain to him that it's not appropriate and as others here have said, lock the door. If he has a way of unlocking it from the outside, then out another latch on it. If he continues to try and peek, then schedule a counseling session for him to attend.

Answer 7

Lock the bathroom door

Answer 8

You need to lock your bathroom. The fact that he is visiting porn sites spells trouble. And he walks in on his mom in the nude without being disgusted spells another. Please find your son some help before this leads into something terribly serious.

Answer 9

Arrange for your son to see an adult female naked! It could be at a nudist club, or even in magazines. But a 15 yo boy needs to know what the female body looks like. And if you make him feel guilty about it, it will only make his curiosity worse. Lock your doors if you don't want him to look at you, but examine your reasons why you do not. In many families it is not unusual for boys to see their mothers naked. Why is yours different?

Answer 10

Nothing is wrong with him. I lock the bathroom door, like any normal mom. You and your husband can fix the computer so he can't access porn. Why aren't you getting it?