If I do this to u what would u think?

Question

I hv been avoiding my frnd who used to avoid me and always used to say she was busy, to whom I used to care alot but all of a sudden I stopped caring her, texting her and talking to her on d phone. And I make excuse like i was busy or something like that.
But i feel bad bcoz even though when she was busy she used to get in touch with me even if it was for 5mins but i started feeling like I was a burden on her and thought I would distant myself from her and I exactly did that.
Well i have been avoiding her since 2 weeks but there is no change in her attitude she talks to me only when she is free or when she is sad and needs some1 to hear her out. this makes me feel like she use me i.e 1 of d reason for avoiding her calls also. Am I right? do i continue ignoring her? Do u think she will come up to me and ask that whats wrong with me? Well she has sensed that something is wrong with me but she doesnt know that I have been hurt by her.
what shall i do? plz help

Answer 1

do what helps you, if you think ignoring her will help you then do it, if ignoring her will hurt you then don't do it. If you are ignoring her for revenge or something like that then don't do it, that is extremely immature and will only hurt you in the end. haha i sound like a budhist, well anyways do what will help you but keep in mind that if she takes the time to contact you for like 5 minutes or something she isn't just using you, that's valuable time and she probably wants to stay close, so in the end you ignoring her may hurt both of you.

Answer 2

Wow, im nearly in exactly the same situation. And this is what I thought.

There has to be a reason why you friend is avoiding you and most likely its is something you done. This has made her think and react in an avoiding manner because she thinks that trying to resolve the situation wont work. Her aim will be to eventually get you to stop having the feelings you had for a dear freind so that she doesnt have to furthur avoid you as the freindship that was once there is gone and mutually you wont speak to each other as you did before.

It seems as though this subconcious plan of hers is working as you have acted in the same way as her. But I dont think this is the right approah which I have found out. Yes give her space but dont go out your way to avoid her.

I guess your aim is to get back yo things how they were. She for some reason doesnt want to and may not tell you. You need to talk to her and find out what the actuall problem is, she might give you legitamate answers but not the actual reason such as shes busy studying or looking after something, but you thing, wait a minute she done this before and we used to talk all the time.

Now you have to take another approach. Its may be up to you haw serious you make it. You can decide you get more deeper into this keaving you to worry and loose your self. Or you can try starting again with her as new friends, trying not to bring up the past but start talking to her and joking about and soon she will eventually become great freinds again.

But you need to get on with your life and dont let others ruin it for you.

Some of the other reasons why she may be avoiding you is that there are other people involved whereby she may prefer to hang with other mates or have a boyfriend etc which she hasnt told you about. What ever it dont give up and continue to amend things but you are right, theres got to be a limit where her stubberness wont be overcome. In this situation you must let go and it will be her loss. You must then move on and enjoy life.

Let me know how things turn out.

Answer 3

I've been there so many times. If she only has time for you when *she* is free, you're not that important to her. You're useful to listen when *she* wants to talk, but if she's busy with something she'd rather do, she avoids you. This is not a friendship. She's using you to fill up the gaps when none of her friends is available.
Continue to ignore her and make new friends. I doubt she will come around and ask you what's wrong...she'll just drift even farther away, or you will.
You are a person of value, not her servant or a doll that she can play with when she's bored. Recognise your worth!! It's not really even a question of avoiding her--just moving on. Find some real friends you enjoy being with and who enjoy sharing real good times with you.

Answer 4

You can't be close friends if you cant talk to her about your feelings? She may genuinely be busy, why make her feel guilty because she's got a lot on at the moment? If you want to spend more time with her, wouldn't it make sense to tell her that rather than let her guess? The key is that she used to call you when she had chance, she wouldn't do that if she didn't want to be your friend.
You should find some things to do outside of your friendship so you're not relying on her to fill your spare time. Maybe you could tell her that you're feeling like she hasn't got time for you and ask if you can allocate one night a week to spend some time together?

Answer 5

i think if you all are friends you should be able to relate to each other better than that let her know how it makes you feel. Then again if you say even though she was busy she would at least spend a five minutes with you then how could she be avoiding you you're just going on your feelings what about her. As i said i think u should just talk to your friend and resolve the matter.

Answer 6

If you want her as a friend, talk to her.

If you don't, keep "being busy."

I have no way of knowing which of these you want.

If you feel she's a user, then dropping the friendship is a perfectly respectable thing to do.

But then you can't complain that she isn't your friend, if that's what you wanted.

If she really is in a busy time in her life, and you want to remain friends, now is the time for you to be understanding. You can talk to her about how it hurts your feelings that she has so little time for you, but if she simply doesn't have time, she doesn't have time.

It might make you feel better to make your feelings known, and give her a chance to respond.

But ultimately, there's a choice: you want to keep her as a friend or you don't.

You have to pick one; no one can do that for you.

Answer 7

This is not a real frienship. She uses you. I think that you should tell her how you feel , tell her that she only talks to you when see needs someone. So that's the reason that youavoid her. I think that you'r doing the right thing because even know she hasn't worried at all. It's so clear! It's hard I know but sometimes people are hard too.

Answer 8

you should tell this girl how you feel. if you don't tell her she will never know how you feel and things will never change. i had a friend who did this to me and i just let her use me until i got so fed up i just started ignoring her. she still comes up to me every now and then but only if she's upset or want's to mouch off of me for food or money. if this gril cares about you at all she will make an effort to change, if she doesn't she's not worth your time, move on and make some real friends.

Answer 9

Depends whether you still want her as a friend. If you want her as a friend I suggest you tell her what is bothering you. If she really is a friend she will understand. Sometimes you do feel like people are just using you but after talking you find out that it isn't the case at all. Hope it works out for you

Answer 10

Some people are like that, you don't hear from them for ages, then invariably they only contact you when they want something. The reason you feel used is because you are being used. You're worth so much more. Find yourself friends who want you for you and ignore her altogether.