My husband & I have a joint acct. It's his main acct he uses to pay bills, etc. My money doesn't go into it b/c I have my own acct. Our income tax refund went into our acct ($3,990). Him & I aren't speaking to each other right now, but he left me a check from our acct for $1500. He's keeping $2490. I'm moving away at least for awhile(his idea)& I won't have a job at first.(our son is going w/me-he's 4)Should I ask for the other $495 or should I just go w/d it? If I do he might take me off his acct. I want to stay on it so I can check his activity. I've been checking it. That's how I found out things.(Victoria's Secret(the stuff wasn't my size), the movies, etc. when supposedly he's working) I don't want to give up on us but if I'm going to be gone awhile I want to know what he's up to. He's done all this while I'm still here so I'd like to see what he does when I'm gone & whether or not he stops & wants to save our marriage & staying on the acct. would let me see this.
2007-03-17 06:28:12 · 16 answers · asked by love my life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
P.S. He knows I know about the Victoria's Secret receipt & tags, the movies, restaurants, etc. I confronted him about all this and he has an excuse for everything. Not excuses that make much since, though.
2007-03-17 06:30:43 · update #1
just withdraw it, i don't think he can take you off a joint account without your permission.
2007-03-17 07:13:48 · answer #1 · answered by ladybug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here i am once again to the rescue.....How are you(smile)?
Please Dear let this looser go. You have suffered so much. He has put the writing on the wall that it is over. Do not allow yourself to be apart of this craziness. It's gotten to the point that he thinks he can tell you "anything" and you accept it .You didn't need him to explain, the victoria secret (that was obvious). You are going through denial. He has already made his mind up. When you move away i would want to keep monitoring the account so i can have proof of his infidelity for the divorce courts. I know it must be hard for you because it appears that you are hurt by all of this, and rightfully so. Please pull yourself together and bounce back.
Find the courage and strength to use this opportunity to look for a job and build financial security for you and your son.
Since your name is on the account-Go write a check for your $495, yes, he may take you off after that, but make sure you request copies of his activity to show proof that he's been messing around. Get copies of the Statements first.
He has really insulted your intelligence with all of these stories. My friend told me that her husband now ex, was at the movies with someone and she caught them together hugging.( She found out by reading the arrangements on his text message/cell phone) He told her (he's a cop) that they were working on a case and that they were undercover. My friend says that's when she knew that she was ready to divorce, cuz now he thinks she's Stupid and telling "stories" that weren't even cleverly put together. She is single with her daughter and very happy!!!! I'm telling you this so you can know that you are not the only one who hooked up with a liar.
Things will get better, but you have to love yourself enough to know that enough is enough!!! Straighten up your back and grab life by the horns!!!! Rememer, marriage is suppose to be honorable, there's nothing honorable going on here. I don't know you, but i will pray for you. 1 John 2:19
You will be fine...........
2007-03-17 07:04:03 · answer #2 · answered by hatlady 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can work it out all YOU want. But does HE want to work it out?
There are other ways of him purchasing and doing things with out you knowing it through his account. He can Cash every thing. Keeping tabs on his account doesn't mean your going to know what he's doing. After all your leaving! He'll probably be doing most of his entertaining AT HOME!
You know he's been sleeping around.
This is why I suggest married people have their own accounts. It never ends well with money. Doesn't it upset you that he probably used that 495.00 to purchase gifts for his HO!? I know it sounds crappy but he's a moron. I would suggest you get a lawyer and proceed with a legal separation or divorce. You can then work all the wonderful money details then. You'll need spousal support and child support. I wouldn't let him off the hook this easy. This man has no regards for YOU! and worst of all FOR YOUR CHILD! he's only thinking about himself and what he needs.
2007-03-17 06:46:51 · answer #3 · answered by SecretFriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um. I'm not too sure how this works, but if you have a joint account, I don't think he can remove you from it without your consent. Can you just take the rest of your half out on your own? If you are going to be living on your own and need to support your son, you need this money more than he does. Staying on the account to find out what he's up to, may just be more heart ache for you. Can you just confront him about your suspicions?
2007-03-17 06:39:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's found someone else and is trying to get rid of you. I would tell him to give you the rest of the money that should be yours, and the money that should be going to his son ... stay strong but I don't think you two will be able to work out problems of this proportion by being separated ... seems like the road to divorce ... just keep strong, and do what you have to do for your self and your child ...
2007-03-17 06:34:04 · answer #5 · answered by Like Nothing Else 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if that is how he found out he will probably get a new acct that you can not have access too. I hope you found out who the other woman is. i imagine with you out of the house he will have more opportunity to be with her.
does he say he wants to make your marriage work? it really sounds like he wants you to leave willingly so he can tell you not to come back.
2007-03-17 06:34:43 · answer #6 · answered by misse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask for it, explaining that you need it to help with expenses. Hopefully your child means enough to him that he'll agree. If he says no, let it go. If you desparately need the money later, he'll probably give it to you. If he doesn't, pawn his tools. While you're gone, seriously consider whether it's really worth saving. He sounds like a jerk. Good luck.
2007-03-17 06:43:01 · answer #7 · answered by Lesley M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would clean out the account before he closes it or takes your name off of it . do it while u can u already know what's happening so what difference does it make, see a lawyer
2007-03-17 06:36:24 · answer #8 · answered by libby c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, it is over, I would go withrdawl all the money and get my own place, start divorce proceedings and move on honey, cuz he sure has!
2007-03-17 06:33:54 · answer #9 · answered by lee911 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry about his luck- your names on it you can take it all. Hope he isn't the violent type though cause money causes people to do some strange stuff
2007-03-17 06:39:42 · answer #10 · answered by todd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋