I am 7 1/2 months pregnant?

Question

I am 7 1/2 months prego and the father of my child has acted completely irrational towards me since day one. We had been dating about 8 months prior and always talked about having children together. We had not been using any preventative method of birth control and had agreed if it happened it happened. His father died in August and I found out I was pregnant in September. He has totally distant him self from me and matters concerning our child(dr. appts etc....).He now is acting like an 18 yr old boy in a 33 yr old man's body. He doing what he wants and how he wants to and I very rarely see him but once a month and occasionally talk to him 2x a month. He never wants to see me or talk with me or my family about this baby. Has anyone ever gone through this and how did it turn out. I have already decided to not give my daughter his name or have him in the labor room with me. I have gone through so many nights of tears and heartache.

Answer 1

This sounds exactly like my story! I hoped no one else would ever have to go thru this. My story is extremely simular, my sons dad lost his father a month before I found out I was pregnant. This was 13 years ago. He was distant and even moved out of state without telling me one month before I delivered. I was crushed and heartbroken. I believe the main reason was his inability to cope with his fathers death. When my son turned 3, he came to me and apologized for all the hurt and pain he caused my son and I and amazingly enough, now 10 years later and four more kids later, he has turned out to be the most wonderful husband and the greatest father any kid could ask for. This is just to say that there may be hope for him yet. You may not get back together, but he could wake up one day and become the most wonderful father you could ever ask for. What he is doing is very hurtful right now, but maybe he is scared and unsure of himself and he has no other way to deal with the pain. I pray for your sake and your daughters that he grows up and accepts responsibility or he will forever regret it. Good luck with all!

Answer 2

First of all, I don't think you should decide right now whether or not to let him in the delivery room with you. Give him time. Some men deal with grief in many different ways. No matter how he wants to be a part of the child's life, any participation is good for the baby. She can always decide later on whether or not she wants to have a lot of contact with him or not. You never know, once the baby's born he may do a 180 and be the best father in the world. Babies change men.

Answer 3

Unfortunately I did go through the same thing once before. I got pregnant with my son and his father who was once so into wanting a family. Then suddenly he had a bit of a death in his family but this one was his uncle not his dad but its about the same. He became such a distant person and even ignored my phone calls and had his roommates tell me he wasn't home even when I knew he was. It hurt alot but I had to step back not only for me but for the stress I was putting on the baby in my womb and the health problems I began to have from it. I have a bit of good news tho, he did come around when he saw the baby announcement my mom put in the newspaper after he was born. Now we have been together for four years. So it may work out it may just be the death and the sudden having to be a father in thought. He told me he was just overwelmed and needed some time away.

Answer 4

I'm curious as to how his dad died? Was it sudden, natural causes?
Anyway, your bf may just be going through a "mid-life" crisis. Having lost his "role model" may be causing him great confusion. But that doesn't excuse his behavior...
I would do what you need to do to take care of yourself but let him know in no uncertain terms, that unless he chooses to become a contributing parent in your new child's life, he will be expected to support his child financially, if not emotionally. If you have a good relationship with his family, I would maintain contact with them for support during this difficult situation.

Best of luck,
Mon :-)

Answer 5

He will come around if he cares about you and your child. I agree w/ you about not letting him in the delivery room when you have the baby. But the last name thing kinda bothers me. I don't have my fathers last name and I got questions all through school as to why not. Why put your child through unnecessary teasing if you can help it? But it's up to you.

Answer 6

Sounds like a midlife crisis to me. Only thing you can really do is wait for it to pass.