Serious Answers/Comments Only Please?

Question

I love my husband dearly, and no i'm not having an affair. The problem is that I'm just not as interested in sex anymore like I use to be. He obviously can't understand this, nor can I explain it, to his satisfaction. How can I make him understand that just because I dont have the same sex drive anymore, its not because I'm not in love with him anymore, cause I am. I just seem to have lost my sex drive for no apparent reason or is there a reason medically possibly for this change?

my husband and i have no children here at home..and none together

I did start nursing school full-time this past january, however, the lack of sex drive started before i started school, althought I'm sure this hasnt helped any

I'm 38 yrs old..hes 41

Answer 1

There's always a reason, and for women it can be mental, emotional, or physical. There can be medical causes for a low libido, so you should talk to your doctor about it. However, you might want to look at what has changed in life that may have caused this. Are you more busy than before? Have you taken on a new job? Anything that is causing more stress/tiredness/simply taking up more time than before?

While men are very physically focused, we women have to be very mentally involved to want and enjoy sex. Have you tried setting a date, planning ahead to do something very sexy, buying a new piece of lingerie, trying to focus on what is going to happen that night instead of what is vying for your attention that day? Sometimes, you just have to psych yourself up for it.

Answer 2

I know how you feel. If you have had kids recently-within a year-it could have your horomones all messed up. If you and your husband have had problems-that can have a huge effect on it. I think that for women-sex is mental. If there are things in a relationship that are not right or your husband does not make you feel good-it can be hard to want it. Also, it could be self-esteem issues? How long have you been married? One of the biggest reasons marriages and relationships fail is because everyone wants to get back to the way their relationship was when at the beginning. You know-when you used to get butterflies, when you were on cloud nine, and before you get really "comfortable" around each other. It can become routine-you know what to expect-kinda boring for you. People should realize love changes. I have the same problem-I have tried to talk to him about it-he don't understand and he can't live without sex! It seems that sex is one of the highest priorities in a marriage for men. I hate the routine-so I will make it to where I am in control. Men love that. I will surprise him-I won't let him take over-force foreplay-you might be surprised how that if you change things up-it could get exciting. You can always call your doctor and see what he thinks. Try new things and new "products". I don't know much about your situation-but I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Of course there are medical reasons for a lower sex drive . You also didn't mention your age. This could be a factor. Also kids, stress, illness, family and work. There are so many variables that can make sex less desirable. Sometimes you need to set a romantic scene and set yourself up for sex even when your not in the mood. If you work on setting the stage it sometimes gets you in the mood. Sometimes you can be well in the act and then get into the mood. Try a little variation even if your not in the mood. Take a vacation. Sometimes we get bored with our surroundings because that's where the stress or thoughts of work and life are. By taking in different surroundings it takes you out of that scene. Even if you take one night and go to a local hotel. Its different scenery. Just try different things. If your still concerned go to the doctor and have a physical and tell the doctor about your concerns. It could be hormonal. But keep trying to show your husband that you love him and find him attractive. Good Luck

Answer 4

Michelle, before the two of you gets in deep problem, answer me this, do you have a newborn baby??or even a small child? If you say that all of the above,then sit down and really think about this first. women who given birth will face some changes with their body,(happen to me), the worst of it is we will experience this bad one called "postpartum" it will come to us after a few months or sometimes even after 1-2 years,this will make you moody, will loose sex drive, once in a while you will feel that your confuse for no reason, sometimes it will make you feel like your not sexy anymore.
If this is whats going on with you, then sit with your husband and tell him, if he needs some written evidence,then go to the internet and ask a question and you will see all the sign that I talk to you about. Sex is very important to men and if they don't see whats going on,then it will make them feel neglected by us,so do the best that you can to explain to him. I hope that this help you,....good luck!!

Answer 5

Im in the same boat as you. What you have to know is ppls sex drive changes sometimes its more sometimes less and sometimes it stops completely. My husband and I when we first got together and married had huge sex drives then after our son was born {2nd child to both of us} I had little sex drive now I have none. I love my husband find him very attractive and can not imagine my life without him in it but have no desire to have sex. And I have talked to my dr about this. Its not that I can not function sexually I just have no desire to have sex. And he told me its part of life basically. In a few yrs your gonna want it all the time and your husband may not want it at all. Thats how it is with my friend and her husband she wants it all the time he never wants it but 3 yrs back it was the other way around.. Give it time also if youve gained weight and arent as secure in yourself as you use to be that could be affecting it.

Answer 6

Well you should go to the doctor maybe it is something they can help you with!! Or I dont know you but I have a friend that doesnt like to have sex because she is overweight and it has turned her off from it!! As for him understanding I dont think a man and woman could ever relate on sex drives! Good luck and try the doctor!! =)

Answer 7

go to the doctor. don't let your husband leave. if you used to havea healthy sex drive, maybe there is a medical reason for it slowing down. Do what you can to get it back. Sex is a wonderful way to express your love for each other. If he has a healthy appetite, he probalby feels like you don't love him anymore because you turn him down. Go to the doctor, do what you can to start wanting to make love to your husband again. Good luck

Answer 8

Pay a visit to the Love Shop even if you make a discreet call but don't take viagara because that has many side affects and can cause blindness.

A man will be feel unwanted and rejected if there is a real sudden change in sex being given to him. So beware he might go looking for it elsewhere behind your back.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

You could go and talk to your doctor. I do know that there are different hormones that can affect your sex life. Take your husband with you when you go. That way he will see that you are as concerned about it as he is. Maybe he will also see that it is nothing that he has done.
Hope this helps some.