My son & I are moving 4 hours away next Sat. My husband & I are going thru a rough time right now since I believe he's been lying & cheating. We haven't seen him since last Sun. when he left upset.(he comes home during the day) Last night I sent him a text saying hello & later I sent him 1 asking about our income taxes & he never responded. At the first of the week my son was looking out the window every so often when he heard a car or a horn outside to see if it was his daddy. Of course it never was. He's stopped doing it as much, but a few minutes ago I heard him doing it again. My son has been acting up this week & doing things he knows he's not supposed to do. When I tell him not to do something he tries to do it anyway or says no(he's 4). He probably has no intention of coming home this weekend since I can tell he packed a bag. What should I do? I feel bad that son might not see his dad before we leave..do I ask him why & tell him he should see him or leave it alone?
2007-03-17 05:48:25 · 10 answers · asked by love my life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BTW: It wasn't my idea for us to move, it was my husband's so we could save money and since he works all the time so we won't have to be alone alot. This was decided by him before I found evidence that he is probably cheating. So I am not moving away b/c we are having problems. We are in an apartment & he has already given notice and we have to be out soon. He is moving in w/ a coworker(supposedly). I am moving in with my parents.
2007-03-17 05:51:30 · update #1
Sounds fishy to me too and I really feel sorry for your son. How can a man desert his child? It is obvious your son is pining away for his dad. You need to take control of the situation and find out what is really going on and maybe call your parents and see what they think about it. Have you met this co-worker he is supposedly moving in with? Does he expect your parents to support you will he moves closer to work to make his life easier??? You need to take some action quick and get that man supporting his child. Seems like he is blindsiding you so he can move on with his life without you. That does not make any sense and I don't see how you let it get this far. I wish you and your little boy the best.
2007-03-17 06:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by Tink 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Being that your son is only 4 when he tells you no that's normal he is trying to get attention from you children need allot of attention at that age that's why he looks for daddy try to make things more fun for him like dad will do like wrestle things like that .
You know the economy has allot of us going around in circles and starting to catch up with the middle class and thank God for that because then maybe people will start doing something about it besides telling the lower class that they are bums or need to try harder . As far as you 2 separating i don't think that's a good idea for you your husband and your kid you 3 should all stick it out together .When your young you need someone to hold from time to time we are human its in our nature you get old like me it just doesn't matter anymore the sex drive isn't as strong as it use to be
I would tell the father if he love his son at all to come and see him because he keeps looking out the window for him .4 hours isn't really that far but it is if you don't have the gas money the way the prices are going everyone is going to be sitting home .
Its funny how one man like Bush can crew up so many life's but the funniest thing is we are all putting the blame on each other when the real culprit is Bush
2007-03-17 13:37:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your son is acting out because he can tell something is going on. You should expect that. Maybe he wont see his dad before he leaves but Im sure the reason for dad not to come around is you. He doesnt want to deal with things in front of the child. Is there any way the child could go to a friends house where the father could visit? I know when my husband and I were divorcing frankly as much as I tried I had anger in me and children can pick up on that so its best he see the baby in a public area or a friends house where there is less likly hood you two will have conflict. Yes tell that man he should come see his son, even if you have to be in another room he owes it to the kid, not you. Ive never been in a place where we have to save money but I have moved 5 hours away from my daughters father prior to our divorce it was my choice there was no reason for me to stay where I was at the time. He never made an effort in 12 yrs to come and see our daughter and in Aug of 2005 I moved her 26 hrs away from him and he still doesnt care. His loss though really.
He might be moving in with a coworker you never really know, maybe ask to meet this person. I know that my husband who owns his own construction company is working on a project an hour away rented for his employees a house to stay at while they are on the site and he stayes there one or two sometimes 3 nights a week. Doesnt bother me because I trust him.
2007-03-17 13:12:09 · answer #3 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel for you and your son.
I think there were more motives to your moving than being closer to his job and you being alone.
Of course you son is upset and doesn't understand what's going on as he's only four.You have to sit down and gently explain in a way he can understand about his dad.
I know you're upset but you have to try very hard being calm for your son and not let him see how upset you are.This is so very hard on children.
Hopefully once you get to your parents house,grandpa will help.He needs stability and reassurance from all of you.
You may not think so now but this is all likely for the best.You don't need a lying cheater in your life.Life is too precious to waste on someone like this.
Leave his belongings in the apt.and take yours with you when you leave.Let him figure out the rest.He isn't too concerned about you and your son so don't bother being concerned about him.He will certainly have regrets one day.
It's important that your son maintain a relationship with his father if at all possible.No matter what.......he is his father but it's up to him (the father)to stay in contact with his child.
He can't do your taxes without your signature so I'm sure he'll be contacting you eventually.
Get yourself a lawyer as soon as possible so you know your rights and where you stand.
The very best to you and your son.God Bless.
2007-03-17 13:14:55 · answer #4 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's time to see the lawyer. I am sorry that you have to go through this. It must be difficult for your son now that he does not see his daddy every day. However, I would not use this as an excuse to let your son misbehave if he does. You are still a loving mom even if you have to correct his behaviour, you know. Also, it sounds to me that you feel powerless about your life and you need to regain control of your life. If he is gone, he is gone - you can still be happy and be loving to your son.
2007-03-17 13:21:04 · answer #5 · answered by Alyssa Macey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound's like your husband is very immature and if he was cheating why would you want to be with him.Sound's to me like you and your son would be better off without him.File for divorce and move on with your life.Never stay married because you have children because in the end the child pays the ultimate price.Good Luck to you.
2007-03-17 13:23:43 · answer #6 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first get tough on your son because if you let his outburst continue then they will get worse now your husband its time to let go because ya'll are a family and family stick together so if he's not moving with yall then its something going on and why a co worker instead of a family member thats the first red flag that he is doing something so save yourself a lot of pain and heart ache and move on and also go to the bank and get half the money befor yall be pennyless and if you husband is cheating you dont want him taking another chick out on part of your money
2007-03-17 13:14:42 · answer #7 · answered by mocha27girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me that sounds fishy...moving in with a co worker. Lets see u will be 4 hrs away and he can do just about any thing he wants. I think its time to talk to a lawyer to find out ur rights before u end up getting divorce papers. He sounds like he has moved on and tryin to push u out of his life. My mom just went through a divorce...ur hubby sounds like my ex step father. Please talk to a lawyer..protect urself.
2007-03-17 13:00:45 · answer #8 · answered by Pres 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, your husband doesn't give sh__t about you, or your son. I would leave, and find legal help immediately!! For you sake, and your son's. He can't do anything about the income tax without your signature, unless he forges it. Another good reason to act quickly!!!
2007-03-17 12:55:40 · answer #9 · answered by lariat_sonata 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
move on go your own way a marrige is about trust and lovenif you dont feel that there is no point your son will be happier to know that you are happy
2007-03-17 14:25:13 · answer #10 · answered by petal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋