I found my 15 year old daughter's boyfriend hiding in her bathroom shower with a towel on thats it.?

Question

I don't know how to punish her. She says they really didn't do anything and they weren't in the shower together she was just hiding him in there.

Answer 1

If you dont know how to punish your own child, then you have problems. Maybe you need to take some parenting classes. Why would you come here to ask complete strangers how to punish YOUR child.

Answer 2

First off if they weren't doing anything he would not be in the shower with only a towel. That is the key indicator. Naked teens means they were doing something or starting to and that maybe why they didn't because you caught them. I would talk to both of them and never again leave them alone together where they can have a chance to do something which will affect the rest of their lives. I believe that the boy and her need to talk to a youth pastor or school counselor as to the dangers of what they were doing. There is no telling how much sex this boy might have had and what he could have given her and I don't mean a baby either. Caution is best.

Answer 3

I see a lot of people saying don't let her see him anymore...but come on. I'm 16 and from the sounds of it, they were doing something. Unless he was just taking a shower, but I highly doubt that. I had sex the first time at 15, its not unlikely that you daughter hasn't already.

My best advice is to talk to your daughter about it, the last thing you want to do is punish her too bad, because I mean you have to consider this was HER CHOICE not just his. It is best if you just talk to her about it, and maybe how to be safe? How to make sure nothing bad happens? I mean punishing her for that even though it may seem reasonable might just encourage it more. Telling her not to see him wont work, she'll just see him somewhere else. Its better to have a solid open relationship with your daughter where you can talk about these things instead of placing harsh punishments on her because if you think about it, what if something happens on day and she gets pregnant or raped or hurt? If she thinks you're going to be angry with her, what are the chances she will tell you what happened?

My best advice like I said, just form that relationship with her and talk to her over just punishing her. If you do this, also its more likely she'll make the right decisions in life over the wrong ones, because she has you as a positive, non-judgmental (which is a very important factor) role model and friend that she can go to when she needs someone, especially about these issues. Better to hear it from her mom than a teenage friend...

Answer 4

From what she said to you,its sounds like a BIG lie...Why in the world would he be just wearing a towel?I would call his parents if you have not done so yet.She needs to be grounded from doing anything besides going to school.After the punishment is over (if you allow him back into your home) make it clear it is for supervised visits ONLY.No in the room with the door open...Only can they be in the living room.I wouldnt tell her to stay away from him at school because she will only rebel more.You and his parents should sit down and talk,including the kids,because this can be serious.Talk to them,dont fuss,try to get some facts like if they are having sex.They will be more incined to tell you if you dont fuss,and with them together you can read body language between them,because the will be eyeing each other to see what they should say.I wish you luck!

Answer 5

This has never happened to me. But something along the lines has. We won't go into detail. :P I was 15, too. My parents grounded me. Punished me. Hit me over it. I was not to see this boy. Ever....

Guess where we are now, a year later?
Dating for 4 years, engaged, and living in California while my parents live in Michigan.

Treating your child like crap over something that everyone is doing/thinking about at that age isn't going to fix the problem. You need to talk to her and tell her that while you don't approve, you want her to be safe with whatever she's doing/going to do.

I moved out at 17 and am now 18. I haven't talked to my parents in months. They became so obsessive on guarding over me that I wasn't allowed to do anything. Which only pushed me to try twice as hard. And, oh boy, did I get into trouble after that. If you're overbearing and over protective, your child is going to thnk that you're just there to hurt her and she's going to do everything opposite of what you want.

I'm not saying let your daughter sleep around. I'm saying that if she loves this boy, there's really nothing you can do. You can scream your head off, ground her till she's blue, and tell her hundreds of times that she's not to see him... And she will. She's 15 and think's she's invincible.

Answer 6

There is realy nothing you can do.

Tell her that she does not need to hide him.

Tell her that you will leave if they want to be alone.

Talk to her about sex, give her birthcontrol, condums.

I know this sounds wrong but if she is already sneeking him in, she might be doing something inappropriote with him somewhere else. The important thing is that they do IT somewhere safe....your house.

If you give her a little freedome she might start talking to you about stuff like that and then there will be less of a chance that she ends up yung, pregnant, and without a boyfriend.

Answer 7

OMG that sounds like a terrible nightmare. If you havent had the sex talk do it now, no matter if she says she know it all, cause sex ed from other teens is not adequate, Make sure you get her an IUD or some other form of birth control even if she says shes not doing anything. Then ground her till she earns your trust back. Show her all those videos of STD's and life time videos on teen pregnancy.

Answer 8

Um, so? Shes fifteen, accept the fact shes having sex. Talk to her, make sure shes not having it unprotected. Other than that, theres nothing you can do. Telling her she can't see him anymore is just going to piss her off, and cause her to perhaps sneek out of her way to see him. If my daughter was having sex, id rather her do it in the safety of the house than out at a party too drunk to use a rubber just because I didn't let her see her boyfriend.


Punish her for lying, not for acting on a natural urge everyone has.

Answer 9

DO you remember being 15 years old. Boys were a big thing then to you as well. When your parents punished you then you wanted to rebel. If you tell her to never see this boy again she will want to a hundred times more. The worst thing you can do is that . The best thing you can do is sit her down for a long talk grounder her for the act of having a boy in your home while you were not there. Then talk to her in depth about sex and pregnancy even more so about std's and aids.. Tell her you are disappointed in her for going be hind your back but let her know that even if you are not happy with some thing she has done or Even if you get mad at things from time to time she can still come to you with any thing she can always talk to you and you are always there to listen. Other wise she will do the same thing as all of her teen friends then she will be pregnant before she is 18 and feel like she can't come to you. Even if they were not having sex it could have went there. Instead of being furious try and relate to her. you were in her shoes once to. I know as a mother all you wanna do is protect her but she has to have the knowledge to protect herself.
I hope this shines a little light on the subject I really do. As a mother you know whats best for your children but as a 15 year old she is only going to see it as my mom is so mean she just wants to keep me her baby for ever she does not realize I am growing up. I have a favorite saying it goes like this.
At 5 years old you feel like you can do it all
at 16 years old you think you know it all
as a mother you are aware that every thing you ever knew went out the window the first time I held you.

Things are not the same today as when we were kids. these kids are moving life in the fast lane way fatter then you or I ever did.

Answer 10

You can't prohibit her to see him that'll just make her hate you and sneak out to see him anyways. She defeinitely lied to you she did something with him or else he wouldn't be in only a towel hiding!! You should ground her though like no phone or going out for a a mth or something. But make sure to talk to her and tell her that she can trust you and tell her anything. Also, you might want to talk to her about the consequences of having sex and might want to reccomend her to go to the doctor for some birth control pills just in case.

Answer 11

as a 16 year old girl i hate to say it but she is lying to you. im not saying they were going to have sex but lets be real...my boyfriend never walked around my house naked and we've been dating for almost two years. theres a couple different ways to handle this. if your daughter has been dating this guy for a while then i would talk talk to her like and adult and ask her honestly what her intentions were. if shes usually honest with you then i would ask her why she feels she needs to act this way. most importantly dont just flip on her or she'll never tell you anything again. if you treat the situation with care and respect towards he she hopefully wont be tempted to do something like this again but at the same time let her know its unacceptable.well good luck.