According to the endocrinologist, my son (7 years old) is destined to be 5' 0" tall (at best), and 4' 9" most likely.
Growth hormone will not have any effect on him because his body simply does not respond to growth hormone.
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I love my son unconditionally, but the life and life experience will not be as kind or fair...
It is because of his extremely small size that he is destined to be regarded as a "FREAK", by his peers, but most especially by women.
He will have the life-long experience of having his human worth discounted simply because of his extremely small size, in this society obsessed with vanity, looks and physique
He will be discounted as a man, as a human being by women simply because of something he had absolutely no control over...in spite of his internal qualities.
I simply don't know how to prepare my son for the level of unfairness and devaluation this society has in store for him,..I literally have no idea how to cushion the blow.
2007-03-17 05:29:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I know (as he does not yet realize) that even the simple things the dignity as an equal member among his peers, or like having a girl friend, will NOT ONLY be denied to him, but it will be denied to him because of how God made him.
I LOVE MY SON, AND HIS LIFE WILL BE HELL
I feel so lost, I have no idea how to protect my son from what he will endure...I feel so lost, please help me
Sara Logan
2007-03-17 05:29:51 · update #1
I do not know where you got your ideas from, but it sounds like you have already decided that you son is a freak and set up fo failure.
Life is not fair and yes he will hit a few pumps in the road, but dont we all? I am not much taller than that have had my share of let downs, but I tell you It in no way has stoped me from being a man. I get along well with my peers and have had my share of woman. It is you and his fateher that will guide him in life and if you have the mind set that he is to fail then he will catch on to that and not let you down and be a failure. But if you guide him and love him and feed him with postive influance then he will be fine.
Oh and by the way I have not a problem dancing with taller women... they have a nice soft place I can rest my head during the slow dances.
2007-03-17 05:46:47 · answer #1 · answered by mongo_wood 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to drop the "he's doomed" attitude. If you don't, it will be self-fulfilling prophecy. You will expect bad treatment from society and , lo and behold, it will happen, and more often than it might've if YOUR attitude were different. Your son will pick up on your incredibly negative attitude as well. There are sooooo many more problems significantly more debilitating than merely being short statured. If he is not mentally impaired and otherwise physically normal, stress all the positive things he can do and ignore the ignoramouses who look askance at him simply because he is short. Do NOT prepare your son "for the level of unfairness and devaluation this society has in store for him. Prepare your son for wonderful life full of excitement, challenges, happiness and disappointments, just like anybody else's.
2007-03-17 05:41:51 · answer #2 · answered by jurydoc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might not want to let your son see you make such a big deal out of this.
I had a boss who was 4'10' .... he was a Bank Vice President.
Nobody joked about his size, they didn't get a chance....he would do so at every opportunity.
Sara, odds are that your son will grow up to be just fine. Ok, so he won't get drafted by the NBA but assuming he has a good intellect and a little drive....he has as good a chance as anyone out here in the real world.
You seem to be beating yourself up over this....please don't. Just love the kid and encourage him all the way.
I'll bet ya he learns diplomacy a whole lot faster than most kids.
God bless both of you.
2007-03-17 09:39:03 · answer #3 · answered by Jack 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a short man (5'8), there is no doubt that he will face some difficult situations. The key is to try and help him avoid developing "small man's disease". It took me a long time to get over this. Basically, I was always bitter over my short height, and tended to be verbally abusive as a way of compensating for my short height.
I think you should be very open and honest with your son. Tell him that people are going to make fun of him b/c of his short height. And that there are some disadvantages about being small; mainly, that it will be very difficult to play elite level sports and many girls do prefer taller guys.
However, you must stress that height will not affect his ability to be a lawyer, doctor, or 98% of other professions. Also, that there are shorter women and that it will just take a little more effort in trying to meet women.
I think the biggest challenge will be for him not to get bitter about his short height. He needs to realize he is no better than tall people, but he is also no worse than tall people. In other words, he should not be intimidated by tall people, but at the same time, he should not resent them.
Sorry if this is jumbled and doesn't make any sense. Im just writing from personal experience. It is harder to be a small guy, and I think it is important to point that out to your son. But on the other hand, it is a lot better to be short than mentally or physically disabled; or to be subject to a debillating disease.
The fact you are so concerned shows you are a very caring and loving mother. I suspect that your presence alone is going to help him thru most of the tough situations in life. As I look back on it, my parents were wonderful, and I'm sure your son will think the same about you. But don't be afraid to be honest with your son, and if you believe he needs some professional help (i.e. support group), don't be afraid to mention it to him.
HOpe this helps, and good luck,
2007-03-17 05:47:07 · answer #4 · answered by mcentee34 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have this attitude, that's the kind of attitude he will have as well. And that is setting him up for failure. A small size is not the end of the world,and you are making it seem that way. You treat him the same way you would treat him if he was of normal height. Otherwise, he WILL feel like a freak. He is not a freak, he is your son, with the same capabilities to love and be loved, to have many friends, to be successful in life, as everyone else.Many people have overcome obstacles due to how they were physically born, and ended up acheiving more than the average person! It is because they had something that most people don't have- the motivation to acheive their dreams no matter what stands in their way. Your son needs to hear this from you constantly, he needs to know that no matter what he looks like, he can still acheive anything he desires. If you constantly single him out as different, and worry about how his size will cause problems for him, he will always think this way also, and it will make it so much harder for him. Kids will deal with ridicule and bullies in school no matter what they look like. Even the popular pretty kids will be ridiculed as spoiled, or stuck up. You can't change how the outside world is. Some kids are just mean. But you CAN teach him how to deal with it, and not take it personally. That's what any good parent does, even if their children are born as what is considered "normal". There is no normal. We are all different. He needs to be made to feel special no matter what he looks like. You sound like a good mother who is only concerned with her son's happiness. You can directly effect that by being happy and proud of him for just they way he is.
I went to high school with a girl who was mentally handicapped. She was the sweetest girl you would ever meet. My grandmother knew her parents, and told me that since she was born, her parents had ALWAYS made her feel good about herself. They enrolled her in dance classes because she wanted to dance, they always told her how beautiful she was, never made her feel different. She knew she was different, but she didn't care. She would walk through the halls in school with the biggest smile on her face, and everyone just loved her. I'll never forget the day she got up in front of the entire school during a pep rally, and did a dance routine. When she finished, everyone was cheering wildly, and her face was just glowing, she was so happy. She died my senior year because of brain complications, but you can be sure that the time she was here, she loved her life to the fullest, and loved who she was, despite her problems. She had good parents. You can do the same for your son, as well. He can love his life, and himself, just the way he is. Lay that foundation for him.
2007-03-17 06:00:19 · answer #5 · answered by Lindsey H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT SET YOUR SON UP TO BE A VICTIM OF THE WORLD!!!
You will not have to protect him from others opinions if he has a healthy self-image...and a deep sense of pride based on who he is, not what he looks like...
As well,
You are predicting the future, which is not fair of you...unless your crystal ball tells you otherwise..... and if you continue with this outlook for his future...you will have a hand in creating the hell you think he is going to go through....
I am 4'11 and I am going to assume my son will not be of great stature....and sure I've thought about some of the confrontations that may possibly arise...so I put him in hapkido (which he is a purple belt at 6yrs old)...this way he has the ability to defend himself....but as far as people picking on him...I've always told him that everyone EVERYONE has flaws...beauty is in the eye of the beholder and to be thankful he is not missing a limb or in a wheelchair or whatever.....
Do not cushion anything...life is tough...just equipt him with the tools he will need...strong sense of self, pride, importance of education...family bonds...and so forth
2007-03-17 05:38:18 · answer #6 · answered by Sillira 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sara,
Do not despair. It's going to be OK.
Yes, it's more difficult to be short than to be tall, but remember that there are many people with similar difficulties (obese? extremely unattractive? speech impediment? etc.) that have happy, normal lives. And there are many people with actual disabilities who don't let them get in the way of their enjoying life.
A friend of mine was paralyzed in his early 20s and has no use of his legs and only partial use of his arms and hands. He's used a wheelchair ever since. He was upset at first (of course) but then made a decision to get on with his life. He is now a successful businessman with a fun, pretty wife and 3 beautiful kids, lots of friends, and overall a very fulfilling life.
So I'd say that the best thing that you can do for your son is to teach him optimism; to teach him to laugh off unkind comments and value himself for what's inside.
Other kids (and other adults, when he's older) will tease him about being short, but if he is matter-of-fact about it, things will be OK. I knew a kid that was very short and sometimes wore a shirt from the local crab restaurant that said, "Who are you calling shrimp?" A girl I knew in high school who was very flat-chested had a shirt that said "Itty Bitty T***y Committee." It's hard to make fun of someone who knows who they are, and is cool with it.
So, again, don't worry. We all have our imperfections. My son is a little guy too -- and scrawny! :-)
It's going to be OK.
2007-03-17 06:01:00 · answer #7 · answered by Independent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 5'7 and I married a 5'4 man. I love him with all of my heart and don't care that he's short. My husband doesn't mind, either ... he's learned to joke around and accept his being short and look at it as a positive and not a negative. Yes, many people under-estimate him because of how his height... but he uses that to his benefit. I think that you shouldn't think of your son as a "freak" and start teaching him how to accept it and not be hurt by what people say. Just remember, how you - as his mother - view him will effect him more than anyone else in his life. Teach him the positive aspects of life and not the "doom and gloom" and he will be fine. I think he'll have more issues if you don't deal with this prejudice of your own, first.
2007-03-17 05:44:56 · answer #8 · answered by schaianne 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello...WHY would you say he does not respond to growth hormone? It takes time to see results! If he is deficient he needs to be on it for life and it may be slow growth but he will keep growing. If he is deficient, he will stop without it! I am an adult who takes it after an accident that destroyed my pituitary and I was only deficient for 1 yr before diagnosis. What hell that year was for me! The muscle pain and fatigue were horrible, he'll get osteoporosis when he gets older, the mortallity rate is very high for those who don't get replacement. If he was found to be deficient, which it sounds like he was if you "tried" it already, he NEEDS to be on it! Not just for growth but for good health and quality of life! PLEASE get him back on it! Maybe the dosage was just too low!
2007-03-17 07:24:24 · answer #9 · answered by laineyette 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1. you don't know how his life will turn out, and if you keep crying everytime you see him, you'll worry him.
#2. who knows if the doctors are right? he's only 7!
you need to treat your son like a normal kid. so what if he will be short? if he grows up thinking that he's freakishly short, it's because of you. there are women out there who care more about the guy's inside than out. 5'0 is not freakishly small. he has no health problems. i think that you need to CHILL OUT and stop thinking of all the bad things. you need to get some help and stop worrying about things you can't control. god help any other kids you might have, who aren't "perfect"/
2007-03-17 05:42:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋