How would you get an ex husband to live up to dependant child visitation that is clearly and specifically deliniated in the divorce papers?
He has primary custody, and what is written out is visitation every other weekend with his mom, the other parent. Every once in a while, he skips out with some lame excuse and keeps the child on a weekend he is NOT supposed to have him. So sometimes she goes for two weeks without seeing her son, which is tearing her apart. And not only that, but it is clearly damaging to the six year old son.
Also, the ex never does any driving (drop-offs or pick-ups).
What do you recommend?
Thanx!
2007-03-17 05:07:02 · 13 answers · asked by stargazergurl22 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm not sure where you are but where I am from, there isn't much you can do about it other than reopen the custody case. In Canada, I know that when there are children involved, it is mandatory to take a Children of Divorce course so that both spouses are able to deal with the child most effectively.- being aware of what the child is going through sometimes helps parents to be more reasonable. Unfortunately, this is not true for everyone.
It is totally unfair that a child becomes the victim in a divorce. This is not only morally unacceptable but also wrong on so many levels.
When we have a child we make a lifelong commitment. Right or wrong, there are ways to deal with pregnancies/births, when parents are not able to forfill this commitment.
When we deal with children, we are dealing with the innocent and they should not have to pay for our inability to forfill our commitment to any relationship be it spouse, father, mother, friend or other person in their life. The effect of our broken relationships have on our children should be minimized no matter what the cost to us as adults.
This means, not critisizing a person that that child cares about in front of the child (or within ear shot). Children are intelligent creatures, they are capable of making their own judgements and will. Sometimes this will take time.
What you need to do is let that child know that you were there to pick him up and he wasn't home. Let him know that you were very sad that you weren't able to see him, that you miss him and that you are looking forward to the next time. Tell him to give you a call anytime if he would like to talk to you and call him often yourself. Be excited about seeing him again and talk about what the two of you have done together in the past and what you could plan for future visits.
I know it's hard but hang in there... your ex may eventually get into a relationship and want you to take the child more often.... then you can really celebrate. It's a game of control that often costs a great deal... just minimise the cost to the child whenever you can.
Good luck.
2007-03-17 05:37:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him back to court he in violation of a court order. You divorced him to regain control over your own life , why are you still letting him dictate what you get. As far as picking up and dropping off the child. So what if you want to see your child you will do what ever is necessary to see that child. Make the ex stop using the child to hurt you and the child. Make him honor the court order or put him in jail. Stop playing his game.
2007-03-17 05:20:00 · answer #2 · answered by Thelma C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write down and document all that he is doing and what it is that is not going along with the decree or agreement. Get a lawyer involved and take him back to court if need be. Why does he have primary custody if i may ask? I recommend going back to court and reding or rewording some of this divorce decree.
2007-03-17 05:19:47 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i recommend her going to court and explaining the situation. perhaps a judge will see that he doesn't need to have that much time with his son if he can't be responsible enough to do what is mandated. from over here, the mother sounds more responsible and it is good that she is upset that she can't see him because there are many parents out there that don't give a ****. and that would help a judge see that she clearly wants a relationship with him and wants what is best for him and can't because of what the father is doing. so go to court.
2007-03-17 05:12:50 · answer #4 · answered by pikachu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless specified in the decree the ex doesn't HAVE to do any of the drop offs of pick ups. As far as the rest...I suggest she speak with her lawyer.
2007-03-17 05:19:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start documenting the incidences. Be very specific as to time ,dates, etc. When you have enough to back up your claims - have your attorney submit it to the court. He will be held in contempt by the judge and ordered to "shape up". If it continues after that - he could be subject to fines or jail time.
2007-03-17 05:15:01 · answer #6 · answered by arkiemom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Document these occasions and send a registered letter to the court where the decree was made.
2007-03-17 05:10:27 · answer #7 · answered by mjb63114 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the court. If it's stated in the papers, he has to follow it or he will be in trouble. The papers should be amended to say that the driving will be shared by both parties.
2007-03-17 05:12:55 · answer #8 · answered by pixie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe is a divorce decree, not a divorce degree. Either way you earned it.
2007-03-17 05:11:50 · answer #9 · answered by Dr. of Situational Psychology 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to Judge / DA about enforcement.
2007-03-17 05:11:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋