she is a self admitting recovered tramp.she is overweight big time and not that attractive,i am the opposite,(this is true remember)people say "what the hell are you doing with her"ok?(that being said).I knew her 2 years as a sex freind but did not speak to her for a year out of the past 21/2.she put on 60 pounds in that year i did not see her.(like,holy crap batman)i was having a low self esteem problem and a change in values thing on the go when her and i started to talk (after that year).i made myself remember only the good times ya know?so this braught me to a point where i started seeing the beauty in her instead of the tramp she was.i felt she was unique like we all are instead of judging her.i felt more like a man by these actions.at this weight i was turned off sexually and had problems ya know.i knew i could score a babe,but i found meaning in this.anyways i fell in love with her and her with me.the insperation made me join college.she now finds excuses to not see me.why?
2007-03-17 04:50:42 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Maybe she was just looking for someone to change her views on herself, to feel good about herself, and now that thats happened, she feels like she no longer needs you, and wants something more. It's definitely not right what she is doing. You were there for her when no one else accepted her. But you can't force her to want to stay. I would sit down with her and talk about what it is she is actually wanting at the moment. She needs to tell you straightforward if she is wanting to be with you, or not.But my advice to you is, if she is not wanting to continue the relationship, accept that, and move on. You can't change how she is. You don't need to be with someone who comes and goes. If she stays until she gets what she wants, and then leaves, only to come back again when she is in need again, this will only leave you emotionally drained. And it's not good for self esteem either. I've been through this many times. I would date someone, and make them really happy. Then they would turn around and say that their heart wasn't in the relationship anymore. A couple of months later, they'd be back, saying they didn't realize what they had. Only to do it again. You sound like a good hearted person deep down, and it sounds like you grew up alot from this relationship. Look at it in that way. If it turns out she no longer wants to be with you, at least you have learned some valuable things about love and life in general from this. Use that to go out and find a woman who will treat you right. Good luck!
2007-03-17 05:14:46 · answer #1 · answered by Lindsey H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like she has been through alot. Maybe she feels uncomfortable with the fact that you are advancing yourself by going to college while she is stuck wherever. Do not, however, quit college!!! People who have been through alot have trouble letting people in, especially when the other person has plans to move on in life. If you are serious about staying with her, let her know that even though you are going to college you still love her and want her to move in life with you. Hope everything works out... Let me know!
2007-03-17 12:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
" i was turned off sexually and had problems ya know."
If you we sex friends, and can't have sex with her, the foundation of your friendship is gone. Some women judge their self-worth by their sexual power. A self admitting recovered tramp might not know how to deal with a former sex friend who had problems, and she might not want to be reminded that worth (in her mind) is diminished by weight or age and thus would be avoiding you
Be grateful for your experience with her and forgive yourself for whatever it is you may be upset at yourself for. Then you can move on.
2007-03-17 12:26:36 · answer #3 · answered by Daniel J 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say that she realizes that you will always see her as an overweight tramp and that make it clear that you are doing her a favour by seeing her.
You say you don't judge but that is all you do throughout your entire question. I don't think that you are worthy of this woman by the say you constantly focus on her negatives and your positives. I think you are a rather self serving, egotistical snob and I wouldn't want you around me either. You need to learn some humility, compassion, and to analyse your own obviously inflated ego.
2007-03-17 12:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My opinion. She does not feel that she is worthy of you. She feels that she cannot attain your place in life. You have moved on to attain better--college--and therefore, feels left behind--physically and mentally. You were at a low in your life but are bringing yourself upward and I don't think she feels that she can come up with you--she is still at a low in her life--may always stay there--depends on lots of things.
Good luck in your challenges. Just my opinion.
2007-03-17 12:08:56 · answer #5 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe she feels you no longer need her! You'll see better girls than her in school! if you really love her you would find some way to get her to talk to you . When you really love someone, you don't let go! I guess right know she has a low self-esteem. You need to build it up if you really want her back!
2007-03-17 12:28:23 · answer #6 · answered by sweety 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've changed emotionally. Has she? Maybe physically, but she's not quite ready yet.
2007-03-17 12:03:32 · answer #7 · answered by KitKat 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋