When we married he married me and my kids (right?), he has no kids himself, yet is always telling me that I am raising them wrong, and pretty much everything I do is wrong. Some of what he says I agree with, but not always. He has never raised kids before (mine are 5 & 7) we have been together for two years. How can I tell him that sometimes kids will be kids, he just thinks that they are monsters, and he knows best. Yet if I don't do what he thinks is right with them he gets mad and wont talk to me for days, then when he is ready to talk he says well they are not my family (just to hurt me, which it does because when he married me he married my kids too). What to do, any suggestions? Please!
2007-03-17 04:46:22 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not saying that he doesn't make decisions in regards to my kids because of does and often, but what I am saying is if I ever dont do or agree with what he is saying then he punishes me for it, like I am a child too, and yes I have been married before (to the man who responded 2nd), but it was an abusive relationship that was not good for my kids or myself to be in, and I did try to make things work for the sake of the marriage, and kids, but he wasn't willing to change.
2007-03-17 05:01:19 · update #1
ur children should always come first...sounds 2 me like u married a real asshole!!!! ur kids should not b subject 2 any type of abuse....i say kick his *** 2 the curb!!!!!
2007-03-17 05:20:23 · answer #1 · answered by doinitthamexicanway 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a husband and a married man of all most 16 yrs.. When he married you, yes he took your kids as part of the deal..Kids are supposed to be kids...there are supposed to have fun..thats the part of being a kid..he was a kid once..I'm sure he forgot he yelled...jumped and played and wresteled with friends to..Does he know best no...a parent knows best because they have been there when the kids was sick or got hurt...or was sad from hurt feelings..or had a scary dream.. He is supposed to be a step father..and thats by helping you out and taking care of the kids..not sitting there and complaing.. a child complains not a growing man who is acting like a kid. And not talking to you for days sounds like a teenage spoiled brat...I wonder when he will grow up himself..
2007-03-17 05:05:08 · answer #2 · answered by hononegah1988 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can he feel like they ARE his family if you reject everything he suggests in raising them? Hey....I'm not being mean here but you are asking for suggestions and the answer may not always be the one you want to hear. Why not sit down with him and talk about how he thinks the kids should be raised. Incorporate his ideas into your daily rearing as much as possible. It may help things. - If you feel you can't talk to him about this, something is definitely wrong. Good Luck.
ADDITION: Ok....then if you are already trying to incorporate his ideas and he gets mad if you don't do every little thing....He is a control freak. He needs counseling.
2007-03-17 05:02:05 · answer #3 · answered by sugarbud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is crazy. Your children are his family, when he married you he became part of your family. And your family includes your children. You need to tell him that if he doesn't want to treat you with respect, you will find a man who will. He doesn't understand children, they will be kids, they are not adults and they don't always understand the difference between right and wrong. And still when they do, they don't always choose the right one. But they will learn from their mistakes and that is what being a kid is all about. I suggest you tell your husband this!
2007-03-17 04:58:06 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have three kids. He is throwing the wrong signals to your children. He is also throwing a tantrum by refusing to talk to you for days just because he had a fit. That's so childish. Kids will be kids... and if that kid- like befavior irritates him now, imagine what he'll be like when they are pre-teens and teens. You might want to take another long hard look at your marriage and the emotional well being of your children.
2007-03-17 04:55:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all these are YOUR kids not his... so YOU need to be the one disciplining your kids, unless you leave them in his care or ASK him for assistance....
he married YOU, not your kids...
secondly, you are RIGHT, kids will be kids.
and now you have THREE children because your husband is totally immature and childlike.
if you feel the situation is out of control, and you and the husband can't agree, and he has to stop talking to you as if he is a baby, perhaps you could consider counseling and learning to communicate with each other.
I don't think i'd tolerate a man like that. I already have kids.
2007-03-17 05:14:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will always have disagreement about how to take care of situation or anything simple for kids even if you are a biological parent or not. There are things my boyfriend do to my kids and I don't always agree. But, I try to understand where he is coming from. Also, he tries to understand where I am coming from. It's immature of him not talking to you for days since that doesn't help anything. He is right they are not his family, but he married you and they are part of you. So, he needs to realize that. Also, kids are very alert and sensitive. They watch and learn from their parents. Since he is in your life, he needs to realize that and be a good role model for your children. No one is always right.
2007-03-17 04:58:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sound's like an immature idiot.He is not a man no man would say that kind of stuff about children.Why would you want to be with a man that call's your children monsters??If you stay with this man your children will grow up with self-esteem problems.Stop thinking of yourself and start thinking about what is best for your children.You need to divorce this loser and find a real man that will treat your children as his own..Good Luck to your children...
2007-03-17 05:08:17 · answer #8 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have taken your kids to raise, but no, they are not his kids and he doesnt have to view them that way. Just because you think so, doenst mean it is right either.
And what, you think he cant be right because he hasnt raised kids before? Neither had you in all likelyhood, before yours came along. By that logic, he should not have married you because you probably had a failed marriage. It didnt work, so you dont know how to do it. Sound fair to use the same logic in that regard?
I wont say he isnt being childish and silly in a way, but then again, if you dont think he should get to decide what is right and wrong as in their actions or or have a say as to how to deal with them, arent you saying to him that he isnt their Dad and he doesnt get a say?
2007-03-17 04:54:32 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Try some family counseling. So how are the kids coping?
2007-03-17 05:08:06 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋