when do you know that you want to marry some one?

Question

i ve been dating my boyfriend for a year now is it too soon to get married. i know it might be hard to expain when you will know but i would appreciate any honest and not silly answers

we are living together for 6months now because we both for sa and i came here for a break i had no choice but to live with him. and i like living with him

Answer 1

i think you just know.......i did.

Answer 2

When two people marry, they're effectively bringing the legal apparatus of the state into their relationship. I really can't see why this would be desirable or necessary unless the relationship has some legal factors.

If you're intent on having kids, that's probably a good reason, though even here the state increasingly recognises the rights and responsibilities of parents regardless of their marital status. Ideally, it seems to me that parents could work out the legalities they want in their parenthood anyway, with an agreed financial contract - before the kid arrives.

Citizenship is an area where marriage is important and makes a difference. If one partner needs to take on the nationality of the other, then it's pretty much necessary to get the lawyers involved.

But getting married just because you love someone has always seemed crazy to me. If you love each other, why legally enforce it? The process seems designed to create problems, especially if in the future you fall out of love with each other - which seems to be very common indeed. At this point, all other things being equal, an unmarried couple can shake hands and walk away, but a married couple will usually have to undergo at least some legalistic hassle to become formally disconnected from each other.

Worse still, the couple might easily decide after a while apart that they're actually better off together after all. The unmarried couple can simply fall back into each other's arms, while the divorced pair has all sorts of legal and other barriers to overcome.

I realise that this overview is simplistic. In reality there are all manner of inescapable legalities attached to ownership of property, assets and money that any couple needs to work out. But here again straightforward alternative legal contracts can be drawn up, customised for mutual satisfaction. Why adopt a one-size-fits-all marital contract to deal with such issues? Even if you both like the legal asset provisions of a standard marriage contract, you can have them without taking on all the other parts as well.

I have little doubt that in the future the standard marriage will be replaced by 5-, 10- or 20-year lease-style arrangement, which take more note of the fact that even the most passionate lovers can drift apart eventually. The only people not benefiting from this change will be lawyers - whose wealth and happiness tends to be in direct opposition to that of everyone else in society.

CD

Answer 3

well, when u know u want to marry someone, u know u want to spend the rest of ur life with that person. U can start a family, or go through rough situations together, get old together. U gotta really love that person and think: do u have good conversations with him? does he support ur decisions? does he appreciate ur company? does he make u laugh and be happy? i think u will know when u r ready, just think about all of these. of course, nobody is perfect so u may have fights but when that happens, dont worry. But i suggest u take more time than a year to get married, that way the relationship will be stronger good luck!

Answer 4

If every couple that marries is deeply in love at that moment in time, why are there so many divorces ? Before you commit to marriage, ask your self if you and your boyfriend are truly emotionally prepared for the sacrifices that married life demands. Marriage is more than love and sex. In order to have a healthy and successful marriage, both parties need to work hard to establish their relationship as, also, a friendship and partnership, to complement the emotional and physical aspects of their marriage. Let's face it, everyone is in love when they get married. The trick is to stay in love for the long haul so it is imperative to develop a fondness and respect for each other that transcends the concept of a couple remaining "head over heals in love" for the rest of their lives. Needless to say, marriage is not the place for the immature or selfish person.

Answer 5

First are you living together? People who meet and fall in love is great, but loving someone and living with someone is two different things. When you are dating guys are on their best behavior.But when you get married ,they revert to who they really are. I guess that the question you should be asking. Is this person, who you know the right person to spend the rest of my life with. Marriage is something that you should really think about. And getting married for the right reasons and not because you think , it's the natural next step. Do what is best for yourself, don't worry about what someone else says.( But think about why you want to get married )

Answer 6

People will say, "You will know when it is the right time to get married."

Here is my advice...
Think of the times that you are away from each other. Is this time unbearable? When you are together is it OK just to be together without doing anything specific? Do you think the little things that bug you about your bf are cute? Would you be able to forgive your bf if he forgot something you asked him to do? Are both of you contemplating marriage and not just you?

These are the types of questions that if answered "yes" will mean that you are closer to marriage than judt dating.

Good luck with your relationship.

Answer 7

My husband and I started talking about marriage 2 months into our relationship. We were engaged after a year and a half, and got married 10 months later. It just felt right, it felt like we wanted the same things at the same time, I couldn't see my future without him. Things are definitely not perfect now, but I do remember knowing he was the one I wanted to marry.

Answer 8

This is totally up to you and how you are feeling about things. Are you ready to marry him and are you ready for marriage and all it entails? Do you love him unconditionally and love him no matter what? Are you ready for the commitment and lifetime responsibility of a marriage til death do you part? What is your heart telling you? Only you truely know if you are ready for marriage or not and if you are ready then go for it but if you are not ready then do not rush into marriage or something you cannot commit to. Good luck to the both of you. I also recommend pre marrital counseling as well.

Answer 9

One year is way too early to get married. Start thinking about it around the third or fourth year. You'll know you're ready when you can live with him and handle a child (maybe more than one) with him without things falling apart.

Answer 10

You'll know you're ready when you want to wake up beside that person every morning, when you love their flaws as much as you love their strengths, when you can look to the future (jobs, kids, mortgage, minivans, pta meetings) and none of that frightens you. If you can honestly tell me that you want to spend every day of your life with this person, take the good, the bad and the ugly, care for them when they are ill and become old and wrinkly together, then you will know you are ready.

Answer 11

I'm not married, but I've always believed that you'll KNOW when its right. Married friends have confirmed that for me. The fact that you'e asking for opinions about it means you might not be ready yet. Marriage shouldn't be rushed into, thats why the divorce rate is so high these days!