An ex 6yr love and I reunited after a few yrs apart. moved in together 5 mos ago, id work and pay 4everything, she'll return to school for nursing degree. now the bad part:
1.Sandy made no effort to return to school even after i gave her 1/3rd the tuition.
2.Has not filled out a single application, not 1
3. Got preggy'
I have decent jobs ( x 2 ) great insurance and free air travel 24/7.
we can marry, travel the world free and afford a baby.
Sandy decides to abort claims our relationship is so good and fun at this time, a baby will interupt.
3. Since abortion: she mopes around slow and sad seems to be depressed.
4. never wants to travel -so i stay home also
5. Sex is no fun anymore.
6. Im an outgoing guy (ex vegas stand-up comic)
but in public she holds her head down and never speaks above a whisper to ppl when we're out. .
Am i a fool? need be mor patient to allow her some healing
2007-03-17 04:23:47 · 15 answers · asked by billybadazz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're a fool. She's using you.
2007-03-17 04:26:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't call anyone a fool. You are a little in the wrong, not much a little. :P It takes two to create a baby, and if it was going to be a problem (you listed it on your list of problems so it is a problem) you should of kept your legs crossed.
That is the only fault I see in you. I see her being ridiculous way at the top where you say you paid for her schooling and she did not attend. She should of been slapped across her face and set straight. (Not by you but by a role model of hers, i.e. father, mother or sibling etc.) A person should not use another in that way, EVER. Then you say that she will not look for a job.
Here is your big problem, she is a spoiled little brat. Truth hurts, it's true. If I were you I would suggest a separation til she can learn to get her life going and take RESPONSIBILITY. I am married yet I would not tell you that I live off of him. We live together, help each other with life's problems. Not expect the other to take full responsibility and come up with a solution.
You may not like my advice but that is what I think. I hope that you can use it in your decision, if not I am sorry I wasted space on your question.
Either way, good luck and have a great day.
MISS KRISTY
2007-03-17 04:32:51 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. K 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't know if you are a fool or just in love with her.
She had no trouble doing the abort with out your knowledge.
She has no trouble not working or school.
She said your relationship is so good if it was so good then why is she just moping around.
Fact is she is hiding something from you.
Find out what it is some how then help her wake up and live how she wants to live.
If she does need healing some women like to talk about it.
Ask her if she wants to talk with you or a counselor.
2007-03-17 05:10:51 · answer #3 · answered by Emptiness 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How about taking her to see a specialist that can help her maybe overcome some of her insecurities? She doesn't sound like she has a lot of faith in herself and that can be a problem for your relationship because your the opposite of her. If you love her, you help her better herself and help her grow away from her inner pain. Getting her the help she needs is a good start and then afterwords, if it still doesn't work out, you'll know you atleast tried to help her overcome her insecurities as a person. Don;t be so willing to throw in the towel just yet. You might just be the knight in shining armor she really needs right now. Try first.
2007-03-17 04:29:43 · answer #4 · answered by daisyduke070 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are not a fool, any woman would be lucky to have you. You seem really supportive and really educated. You need to talk to her more about the situation and tell her how concerned you really are. Ask her if she has a problem with your relationship and if she does try and fix it. But, I don't mean to sound harsh, if she is not willing to talk to you or do anything, you might want to tell her that you don't want to be held back from the rest of the world. Tell her how if you really feel this way want to get married and travel and have kids, that will make her feel really good and hopefully end her mopiness.
2007-03-17 04:31:42 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren C 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry the 2 of you are going through so much. The 1st thing I recommend is for counseling, you have the insurance and you need the help. Please do it very soon or her depression can get much worse, you need to deal with your issue one at a time and the depression can be life threatening if not treated properly. It would seem she is not healing but withdrawing from the world, counseling can help both of you her with the depression and you to better understand her and what is the best for you to do and not to do in healthy manner. Best of luck and hope all works out.
2007-03-17 04:33:02 · answer #6 · answered by tarows_sorrow 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You're too nice and deserve better...the abortion was her decision (right?)...she also decided to take a route of not returning to school even after the encouragement you gave and seem to continue to give her...I don't know...I just think she's holding you back on what you can accomplish with her negativitiy. Should you choose to stay with her, best of luck and hope things change.
2007-03-17 04:28:47 · answer #7 · answered by 3AngelsLuck 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think she is in depression since she has aborted A LIFE, so to speak. And she, being a nursing student should KNOW better, but since she did anyway, so now she is really messed up. So I say to you dear man, if you love her, take her to a psychologist/doctor and treat her kindly. Love her and give her patience, after all, she did abort YOUR baby too, yknow. You are in this together, so good luck!
2007-03-17 04:28:38 · answer #8 · answered by joulsey 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My vote would be fool. You gave her a place to live, rent free, money for school, the opportunity to travel, and how does she repay you? She killed your child. She may be depressed since the abortion, but what was her excuse before that?
2007-03-17 06:12:49 · answer #9 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs more help than just you can give. She sounds very depressed to me & needs counselling and/or medication to help her through, it sounds like she also has self esteem issues & of course having an abortion may have affected her in ways we can't even begin to guess.
Get her to a doctor or counsellor and please continue to be patient with her, she'll get there but it will take time & support.
2007-03-17 04:29:32 · answer #10 · answered by madamspud 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think Sandy needs some sort of outlet for her true feelings. There is definetley something going on with her and she may not even realize it or feel she has no outlet for it. Try to be as supportive and encourage her to seek some professional help, becasue maybe the abortion is bothering her.
2007-03-17 04:28:01 · answer #11 · answered by ChezNSamMom 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋