Hello. I ve just found out my boyfriend ve been cheating on me from day one of our two year relationship with a girl he knows 16 years and she was always waiting for him to fall in love, not just having sex, I am devastated and now i have to move out. os there anything i can do to heal the pain?
2007-03-17 04:22:26 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
hi hunny
ive been through very similar... you just have to get by each day in any way you can... i cried every day for months as my partner left me with a 2 year old and a new-born baby.. we were barely out of the hospital... you could even try writing your feelings down every day and see if this helps. its a good way of pouring your heart out but also keeping the most personal things to yourself...
things WILL get better xxx
2007-03-17 05:32:16 · answer #1 · answered by MICHY06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the pain is a good thing. We all endure pain at some time or another, and it can have several good things come from it, if we keep it in perspective.
First, you feel the pain because you allowed yourself to be given into a relationship that may, or may not have been "right for you." What was the crieria you used to decide that this one was to be someone you wanted to become serious about?
You mentioned you have to move out, not divorced. That would suggest you have been intimate with this fellow and have allowed your heart to become intwined with him, without any commitment of a permanent nature.
Did it ever occur to you that "living together" was the state of the woman at the well in Cana, where Jesus told her "You said rightly that you have no husband, because you have been married a few times, and the man you are with now is not your husband." So, second, you allowed yourself into the position of being available, without solidity. Her state was considered a sin, and although the world has accepted the lie that its OK, many still do not.
Why do we accept "popular culture" as OK, and listen to media barages that suggest that sex and sexuality are the cornerstones of a relationship, and then become surprised that we are hurt in the process of our ignorance of the ideal that God set for us?
I suggest you have a ways to go to get over your pain. Maybe it will be good training for you to adjust your thinking in the next relationship you decide to give yourself to. Maybe a different approach would benefit you. Why not find a relationship with God first, and let God send Mr. Right your way?
2007-03-17 11:59:33 · answer #2 · answered by Beyond 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Oh i feel soooo sorry for you, you must be devastated. You may not realise it at the moment but you are better off without him. You would never be able to trust him again. He does not love this other girl it's just sex, he will cheat on her as well, what a fool she is. He would have left you years ago if it was love with this other girl. Time will heal, and i know you think oh i don't think i will ever get over this but you will, i did....... my husband left after 25yrs of marriage he was having an affair. Carry on with your life you can do it. One day you WILL meet someone you can trust and love again. God Bless you ; you will be in my thoughts.
2007-03-17 11:37:44 · answer #3 · answered by kevina p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry and I know its hard I am to heartbroken right now but when you get the urge to call and i know you will i do and text whichever remember the hurt he has caused you and remember and think is this the man you want your heart and your life to be with and right now I'm sure the answer is yes so take each minute by minute and when you get the urge to call and your cring in pain have a bath work out call a friend anything to get you past that moment because then you will be OK till the next moment and just keep doing this till each moment get longer between each other then it will get easier.
Good Luck and Hugs
2007-03-17 11:50:12 · answer #4 · answered by devistated 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, went I was married my husband slept with everything that would lay down, I was forced out of the relationship , only after not wanting to see it for about 1yr or so. It was hard, get back out there and find someone that is attractive to you and start over, don't pine for this a____hole, you are better to find out now while there is still a life to be had. By the way I meet a friend of a friend on a blind date, the following month a the split and we are running on 19 yr now.Things do work out.
2007-03-17 11:37:08 · answer #5 · answered by Thelma C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing I can think of for you is to let your feelings out, allow yourself to feel the pain, cry, beat up a pillow scream out loud in the dark when alone(only for a day or 2) and then pull yourself up and move on. Allowing the feelings out is healthy and the only way to get over them. You will still feel bad at times for awhile but if you are not true to yourself with your emotions you can't heal. Once you have cried it out start finding things you enjoy doing that you would have never done while with him, you may find things out about yourself you never knew, maybe you enjoy hiking but because he would never do it you never knew it. The world is a big play ground Hun go play and find what makes you happy!! Best of luck, big hug to you.
2007-03-17 11:48:52 · answer #6 · answered by tarows_sorrow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would say by reading this that you are one lucky lady to have found out now this guy is not worth it sweetie ,someone who cheats on there partner is in my books not even worth a minutes thought yes i been there myself with a lady i was with it was hard at first but believe me in time it will heal the pain your feeling i am sure you are at the moment angry upset wondering was it you but tell you what if that is the case STOP it now you was not the one cheating he was so move on with your life and one day be it at the shopping mall or the supermarket you will meet the right person to spend the rest of your life with
2007-03-17 11:39:48 · answer #7 · answered by wombat4412 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh boy! another broken heart because some lowlife cant keep his zipper up, look at this way it's his loss go out into this big world and do your best to find someone who hopefully can be loyal and I'm sorry to say it that wont be easy why oh why cant people be true to each other or is it me who is wrong. I wish you all the very best but do take care
2007-03-17 11:49:22 · answer #8 · answered by weebobby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear your story.
I had a similar experience with my ex of 7 years. When I ended it I put all my energy into work and caring for my horse. That kept my mind busy and before I knew it I was out of the woods.
It still hurts but not as bad anymore.
2007-03-17 11:28:10 · answer #9 · answered by unareticencia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are moving out. That is the best thing you can do to heal.
So you are already on the right track.
To heal fastest,stay away from him. No contact if possible.
What you feel (sadness) comes from inside you.What people do to you comes from outside you. You have the power to feel the way you choose,or you have the power to let people choose the way you feel.Still it is you that has the power.
2007-03-17 11:48:25 · answer #10 · answered by dogswamp 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋