How do you assert authority without violence?

Question

Do you shout, threaten. Any suggestions.

Answer 1

Well, in a larger, change-the-world sense, I'm not always sure that asserting one's authority *can* happen without some measure of aggression or implied violence (which is what the shouting and threatening is). A lot of what passes for authority in society these days can be summed up as the answer to the question: "How much polite-looking, codified abuse are you willing to tolerate if it's inconvenient, humiliating, or job-threatening to protest?"

But....having said all that--have to keep it real you know--there is something to be said for "killing them with kindness".

Make and keep eye contact. Smile, a lot. The more they rant, the more you smile and just pretend that everything is going right over your head, in a sort of Tom Hanks-ish "Aww, shucks, golly, is it *so bad*?" sort of manner.

Don't give your annoyance any traction in other words. Don't give them any aggression to work with. It takes two to tango, so stay cool, on purpose. Wait it out.

Aggressive people *will screw up* at some point, and when they do, you will have them, and you will have them in a way that usually *looks Good* in front of witnesses. The idea is to at least look like you are the more mature and less aggressive one here so that the consequences of that aggression don't stick to you.

But I will be the first to admit, it's a mind game, and not an easy one by any stretch. It may be healthier for you emotionally in the long run if at some point (when witnesses aren't around--people or security cameras) you just let your regular annoyance *have it right between the eyes* with something nice and heavy.

Nah, you *did* say "without violence" didn't you? Sorry. ^_^ So yeah, learn how to kill them with kindness and wait them out. Let *their* aggression be their downfall, not yours.

Hope this helps, and thanks for your time. ^_^

Answer 2

"Violence is the supreme authority from which all other authority derives"

Authority is the power within yourself to affect the world and others. But it must be matched by responsability, being held to account for the power you possess. So whenever you assert your authority you must be willing to be held acocutnable for all it's reactions and consequences.

If you truly do have authority over another then you shouldn't have to shout or threaten, you should already have proved you're capable and responsible enough for them to take your word and directions.

Answer 3

Very loud shouting and the perception or threat of violence. Also, you can position yourself to have leverage over others (being a boss, etc.)

UPDATE: Foxymoron is right insofar as it's a more effective way to influence and motivate people, but asserting authority is wholly different than influencing and motivating people.

Answer 4

Authority isn't about fear, it's about respect. If you need to resort to violence, whether physical or verbal, you don't have authority, you have a problem. To gain people's respect, you need to remain calm and in control and know what you are doing. It should be clearly stated what is expected, and what the outcome will be should this not be achieved - and that shouldn't be a headbutt!

Answer 5

He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
simply speak with a more assertive TONE,looking the subject square in the eyes.....and keep your hands to you your sides.

Answer 6

Verbal abuse