is anyone frightened of hoodies? any male adults? or is it just me that feels nervous about them?

Question

are there many in your area? if there are , how do you deal and cope with it? im 29 deal with borderline personality disorder, im waiting assesment for therapy. in the past, ive had problems, with paranoia, inner rage, low moods and anxiety. im tryin to put the past behind me and put my life together. but i live in an area, where there are a few hoodies, their loud, cocky, drive motorbikes recklessley all the time, and i feel nervous and frightened of them and intimidated. their always outside, hangin about. and i feel angry at myself that i do feel scared, threatened and intimidated by them. because i feel im a 29 year old man, and shouldnt feel scared or frightened, that i should be able to go out there and deal with em. feel no fear. i feel controlled by the fear. i get scared i wont no how to react if i feel one of thems lookin at me. unfortunatly ive been attacked by hoodies in the past because ive lost control of my rage. it doesnt take alot to trigger my inner anger. and

in the past, i accept, ive reacted and miss
pecieved a potential threat, by staring back
at them. this comes from alot of bullying and
abuse in my life, victimisation. so i know
where it comes from. but i still need therapy
to know how to deal with the rage and my behaviour
and impulses. but i still feel bad that the
hoodies do scare me. i feel i should be
confident and tough like a man. not allow
them to frighten me. does anyone else feel
like this bout hoodies in their area? id
like to emmegrate from the uk, but until
my lifes sorted out, and i can achieve a
good job, and deal with people, i have to
remain in a council flat in manchester and
i feel trapped, like ill be here forever

Answer 1

The way you carry on it wouldn't surprise me to hear that a new born baby would scare you. You're a grown man and you're frightened of some Manc kids - and WHY were you attacked in the first place? Waffle about not taking much to trigger your "inner anger" - whatever that's supposed to be - tells us nothing. WHY was it triggered and by WHOM, for doing WHAT. Go away and think about it.

Answer 2

Hi, I'm a 25 year old with Borderline Personality Disorder. I also regularly wear a hoodie. And as if that wasn't enough I also have a shaven head.
If you believe what what is said and written by the media then you would think that I am danger to society, somebody who steals old women's purses and beats them up.

Nothing could be further from the truth. I have never and would never commit an act of violence against anybody, except in self-defence or the defence of somebody else.

Often, when I'm walking along the street and an elderly person is close by I can see them looking at me suspiciously as if I am a threat to them. When this first started happening I was deeply offended by it. But now, I've learnt to live with it and just put it down to their narrow mindedness and their gullability with regard to what the media tell them.

I understand what it's like to have BPD and I also understand the paranoia that comes with it. But you really shouldn't worry about young men in their hoodies. The chances of something actually happening to you are very small.
Remember that the fear of crime is always much, much higher than the actual crime rate. And as I've already said, the media perpetuate this.

As somebody with a mental illness, the people p*****g you off should be those who cause the stigma that surrounds psychiatric conditions. And of course the government for closing therapy clinics up and down the country.

I know this answer is rather long-winded but, as I am sure you can appreciate, this is something I feel very strongly about.

Good luck with therapy and I sincerely hope you get better soon.

Answer 3

For those who don't know, in the UK, young thugs wear hooded sweatshirts called hoodies. This label is also applies to the young thugs who wear them so a person can be called a hoodie.

I would avoid them also, they are sad immature people and in a gang they can be a real threat. You are not the only one who is nervous of them. Keep in mind that once you are having therapy you will feel better and not be so scared of them. Just be cautious and keep your eyes open and you will be fine. They tend to keep fighting within their own age and ethnic group so I think you shouldn't worry about it so much. Your therapy will help.

Answer 4

Hold your head high my friend but aviod eye contact with anyone (even non hoodies) you think looks dodgy.

Life is not about confrontation but based on mutual respect and 'give and take'. Ask yourself this- Why do these young people hide their faces from everyone and go about in packs? It is because THEY are not man enough to live in the real world and are consummed by fear. Be proud be yourself.
Nothing in your life stays the same forever. Hope you feel better soon.

Answer 5

You have every reason to be sacred of them. I have know friends who have been attacked and my car is constantly vandalised because of them. I am afraid but I am more angry at them. I can't do anything within my own powers to sort them as I would be the one to get persecuted for it, the police are hopeless as they need proof and witnesses against them, even then, you need to find them and it's usually your word against theirs. I was broken into ( I didn't have any valuables but all my sentimental belongings meant the world to me), I knew who it was, the neighbours knew who it was, but nothing could be done as I was too scared and no-one to stick up for me. The council refused to move me and my young son even tho I was having panic attacks whilst at work and in the house. Eventually I was lucky enough to have savings and buy a house away from that area.
All you can do is call 999 in an emergency, if you feel threatened by them outside your home or if you can keep a diary of their crimes that you see and take photos. Sometimes it is paranoia in your case as you do have mental problems but you are not the only one that feel threatened. All we need is a big hole for them to be pushed into and you and I could happily bury them alive.

Answer 6

interesting archetypal references.
Sounds like a good admission of powerlessness and personal inventory followed by a sincere desire to change and to help others may be in order for retained resentments.
we are not responsible for what others do to us. We are responsible for what we do, to others and to ourselves, and to learn how to respond rather than to react. That you are asking so intelligently is a good sign. Seek a higher Authority and amazed how your perceived problems go away. Faith and love over fear.

PS>> been there.

Answer 7

It sounds like you are starting to dealing with your problems well as you say you are waiting for therapy. I'm sure that they will teach you a way to help yourself when you are in a situation that your not comfortable in.
count to ten walk past with your head high and don't react to them in any way. then give yourself a pat on the back and get on with your day.

Answer 8

I'm not a bloke, but I do think its unrealistic to think that just because you're a man you shouldn't feel intimidated. Their behaviour is designed to be intimidating, plus they're in a big group and you're not.
That means you're not a coward, not that you don't feel fear. You can feel fear and still have courage to get on with your life.
Best of luck.

Answer 9

Hoodies the big hard men in our society who fink people like us don't show em inuf respec rite yeah...well stuff em next time you walk past em have your arms spread wide and nock them about...get yourt hand ready to slap the cocky one then run...get well and don't let the scum beat you ever

Answer 10

at the end of the day, they are just a piece of cloth but they do feel intimidating, which is why they are banned in a lot of public places. I don't mind them