Depressed that I had c-section! Please help!?

Question

I have two sons. Both with c-section. My first son was a big baby and my doctor said that it was not possible for me to give birth vaginally. So I had a planned c-section. Everything was ok and I had no depression or so after the birth. I had my second son on Dec 5, 2006 again by c-section. The baby was not in proper position and since the first was c-section the second birth automatically planned as c-section. This time I feel to bad that I did not have and since we have planned two children I will not have any vaginal birth experience. I know this is nonsese because I have lost this chance 5,5 years ago in my first birth but it hit me now. My baby is 3,5 months old now and I still feel sorry and do not now how to cope with these feelings? Anyone who have been through the same, please advice!!!!

Answer 1

I had a c-section after over 27 hours of labor w/ no progress. I was begging for it. They thought they botched it up and messed around with me for a bit after that with a catheter and tampon but that was the worst of it.

I recovered so quickly and the dr's and nurses were amazed. I was not upset nor did I feel cheated that I didn't deliver vaginally. To this day, I don't think I would have recovered as quickly if I would have had a vaginal birth.

Although c-sections can have their problems so can vaginal births. I have a close friend who delivered a large baby vaginally and she has always regretted it. She says it has affected sensation "down there" and her recovery from each of her births took a long time. She also had pain during sex for months aftewards.

I'm pregnant again and am going to have a planned c-section. I don't want to go through all of that labor again only to end up with a c-section.

You are no less of a woman or a mother because of a c-section. Either way the baby is getting delivered.

Good luck!

Answer 2

I understand exactly how you feel! With my first child I had to have an emergency c-section. My condition was 'failure to progress' which basically means that my body was acting weird and they didn't want to take any risks. So I had it, it was unplanned and a total disaster. And now I am again pregnant (33 weeks) and my midwife has told me several times that I will probably have a second c-section because I had my daughter such a short time ago (she will be approximately 14 months old when this one arrives) they worry about tearing or abruptions which could be very dangerous.

I knew that if I wanted to have a VBAC it wasn't going to be easy and probably not safe. But still it does upset me that I can't be like other women I know who have done it the natural way. It makes me feel somehow like I am not as strong. Also I was completely gased out whenever my daughter took her first breath and I wasn't awake to see her or hear her first cry. It was depressing and I also can't discuss how it felt going into active labor because I really didn't until they broke my water and then the contractions were for only half an hour as they injected me with numbing meds.

I guess it's just the way it is meant to be for some. But I always tell myself that at least my child was born healthy and what if this had happened 200 years ago back when there was no remedy for a complicated birth and I would have died! So in some ways it is a blessing.

Answer 3

I had a vaginal, then a planned c-section. My c-section went horribly wrong- the anestesia did not work and I felt the entire thing. I had a very difficult recovery and became seriously depressed (and was suffering from post traumatic stress). I blamed myself for planning the c-section and I had so many regrets. It's hard to put this behind you because it is supposed to be a really great experience. A very natural, memorable experience.

I found that what you and I experienced (the depression at least) it not uncommon. There are c-section support groups- you will be able to find one locally or join ivillage.com to discuss it.

Please keep in mind- if you have a third child: VBAC after 2 c-sections is absolutely possible.

Answer 4

Try to remember all the good things about NOT having a vaginal birth. Vaginal birth isn't special, it's painful, stretches you out, often leads to incontinence, and a host of other problems.