what does it really take to get respect from women?

Question

I have found the women i have been with are disrespectful to me. I have found that the nicer i am the more disrespect i get. Ive also noticed that when i choose to cut them off they fall to pieces emotionally. Why are a lot of women like this. I mean I dont want to be mean but im seeing its the only true way to get treated well by women. This is what i never wanted but i wont be disrespected in a relationship and it is looking more and more like someone has to have all the power and if i dont take it the woman will and ill suffer then. Is this how relationships really are. Im dissapointed but from what i see around me and the divorce rate it all looks like a power game to me. Is this how women want it subconsiously atleast. Like they think a man should be "A MAN" with all those bad connotations too. Like a real man is sensative but mean too. Maybe i should just stay single i cant be bothered playing some role all my life.

Answer 1

I think that you are getting a lot of bad advice, and most of that bad advice is coming from females responding to this question.

Women don't respect a doormat. Insecure macho men seek out female doormats for abuse, but you'd be hard pressed to find many females that will respect you if you tollerate bad behavior and let them boss you around and generally act like a wimp. So "yes", I know what you are talking about, but "no" it's not a game.

Some of the female responses indicated "stop looking and love will find you" or something like that. That's nice for women, but they don't usually ask men out. Men ask women out 90% of the time, so while that might work for them, you and I still have to ask women out.

All the "be yourself" advice is getting near the mark, but it's meaningless ... especially if "being yourself" means being insecure, having a bad attitude, or being undisciplined.

It all starts with focusing on yourself and becoming a confident, self-controlled male with generally good character traits and attitude. It really helps if you have a good sense of humor too because when somebody is trying to turn you into their butler or servant, you can use humor as a means of softening how you say "No" to having somebody take advantage of you: you have to set personal boundaries or women will take advantage of you and disrespect you, but you don't have to be crappy about it.

A confident, happy, well-groomed male with a positive attitude and self-image who doesn't expect every woman to love him and doesn't take their rejections personally won't allow that to diminish his self-esteem while he's in the dating pool and asking women out.

Think of asking for their phone numbers and asking them out on dates as YOUR screening method. If they say no, good, next. If they give you a number, but they won't commit to a specific date/time to meet or want you to call them back to verify a date you've already made, that's them trying to test you (they are either too structured or controlling), and they failed your second test.

Evaluate women the way they evaluate men. You can still be charming, have a good time, be witty, but don't let yourself be manipulated and do not place them on pedestals: pedestals are for statuary, and they are just women, and we are just men. You are looking for a flexible woman who has good character traits and a good attitude and who happens to be attracted and very interested in you. You should think of every date (and don't rush these things) as a kind of interview. Find out all about her.

In short, you should evaluate women, not aqueisce to their every whim. Do not become her servant, and don't waste your time with the ones who are manipulative or controlling. Learn to say no to bad behavior (and make a joke of it), and maybe things will improve for you?

Answer 2

I just think you haven't found the right woman yet. I am in the best relationship I've ever been in and it is a mutual trust, and mutual respect that make it so good. It took me a long time to find but I did finally find a mature woman who liked an honest, respectable man. We have a relationship that doesn't have to be controlled by anyone. It is the 2 of us as partners getting through life. Don't fall into the childish games, just continue to date until you meet the right woman for you who can have a relationship that is mutual.

Answer 3

Seems to me you are meeting the wrong types of women. I have been married for 20 years. There have been times that we have disrespected each other. But that is only during a heated argument. Its not the norm. Men do have Man roles in this world, females have women roles that's just the way it is. My husband fixes what is wrong with the house, I feel that is a mans job. I do the remodeling on the inside. I do the mowing in the summer, he does the shoveling in the winter. Not ONE of us has all the power... we are equal. Sometimes we have to be reminded of the word compromise though. You have to have two people to make it work though, if only one is doing all the work... it wont work.

Answer 4

Respect yourself. Be nice, yes, but set limits from the beginning (and especially in the beginning) of a relationship, not just at the breakup. They're sobbing because they're not used to you standing up for yourself, and it makes you so much more attractive. If you set limits from the beginning, you will attract better choices in women, and you will maintain their respect. Don't become a cynic - it's not all your problem, nor is it all their problem. Once a problem's a pattern, then there's good news. You can do something about it. Find a healthy assertiveness that's not about being a "MAN" (or mean).

Answer 5

First you find an honest mature woman who sees you as you really are not as she wants you to be and accpets you as is.You tell her from the get go, look this is who I am, if you have a problem with me, then lets just be friends because Im not changing, for you or anyone else thats completely and totally out(yet we should always be willing to look at ourselves and be willing to change if honestly its a bad habit or we see the need to change in an area).The key is finding a woman who is happy with herself and you fit the description of the kind of man she wants.Yes, youre right for the most part a lot of women think since they can lure a guy into a relationship thru lust and make him jump a few hoops for sex, then they can control and manipulate,change and fix him for life.They do not realize their power ends after the first few orgasms.Get to know the woman FIRST before EVER asking her out.You can learn loads about her just by watching her life without shacking.Im happily married, you can be too.Nothing like waking up beside your best freind every morning.

Answer 6

i think that for each person there are many soulmates, not just one.
Not all women are the same, perhaps the women you date are used to men being disrecpectful, because to be honest out of all the guys i have dated, very few were nice to me in the long run.
Its always hard to tell in the first few months because you are in the honeymoon period, where you do whatever you can to please your partner, and hide all your bad habits, and try to make yourself seem as perfect as possible.

This may sound strange, but perhaps you need to stop looking for a relationship, because only then will you (and others around you) be themselves. When people are single they act to impress, but when they are taken thay are not so bothered about what people think of them, but i always find a crowd of men wanting to ask me out when i get into a relationship.And usually really nice guys too, who i have known for a while, and have become freinds with.

Where were they when i was single?
I was just looking for the wrong type of guy, and i looked right past the type that would probably be best for me, and the ones i know i get along with!

Dont play a role all your life. Just be yourself and love will follow.

Answer 7

James you've fallen into the same trap that the rest of the world falls into. Peer pressure. The odd thing is that once you take your focus off what women want, and start being the guy that "you" want, things will start to fall into place. You want respect! What attributes do you think you would respect? I mean do you think a playful guy should have respect or one that is mature? Do you think a tough guy should be respected, or maybe a pacifist? The focus shouldn't be on what others think, it should be what you think. Me, I'm 6'4" 230 lbs. Athletic and happy that way, and respect a pacifist more that someone who is, say a karate expert. I don't fit in the mold others place me in. I mean I constantly have tough guys trying to boast about their manliness. Just to try to fit in to the peer group they think I should be in. I could care less. Break the perceived mold of what a person should be. Look what "you" want. Who cares what others think. Once you find yourself, then someone who loves those attributes will find you! Then there is no more wishy washy expectations. This is maturity at the highest level! You want something to focus on? Focus on yourself! You won't be disappointed! Nor should you be!

Answer 8

Reading your questions you sound confused and irritated. This is not a "I'm the man I'm in charge" thing anymore. Times have changed and the mentallity both women and men need to have is that this relationship is a 50-50 one and both needs to give. Communication is the key in a relationship and if you don't communicate you will have quarrels, fights and then being disrespectful. Ask her whats wrong, if she is being disrespectful like you said come out boldly and ask what is the problem? Why is she disrespecting you? The only way you will know what the problem is if you ask.

Answer 9

Just treat them with respect and admire them for what they do. Alot of women feel that men do not appreciate them at all and they feel that most men are controlling and dominating and sometimes the women have been used or abused or hurt by men so much that they feel that no man will ever respect and love them. A real man can take charge and make decisions at times but he still listens to the woman and does not have to be boss or have her be a doormat or someone he can kick around... Basically you treat her the way that you would want her to treat you... To me if you give respect and admiration usually you will get it back in return from the other person. JMHO! If you cannot love and respect a woman and still be a man then yes you are right you should stay single BUT if you can love and respect a woman and treat her right and be selfless and cherish her and love her for who and what she is then you have every right to marry and to be with someone that you love. Being mean is not the only way to get treated well by women. My husband is not mean and controlling and i respect and admire and honor him with my whole heart and life.
We as men and as women have to learn that mutual respect is the best. As we respect others they will return that same respect to us. Repect goes both ways and so does kindness and love. Great question by the way. This one makes me think:)

Answer 10

I don't know, I'm just a old married lady. But to me the reason I married my husband, is because he showed me the respect I deserved. Not all women like these big bad types, alot of women like the sensitive men, who will respect them. Marriage shouldn't be a power game. Its a compromise. You go into marriage whole heartly, and love and respect your mate. And yes, all marriages have their times, the rough patches, but you work through as a team to get over the rough time togeather, and become stronger in the long run. Hope this helps

Answer 11

The problem with this planet is there are only two genders to pick from for mating and one of them is totally insane. If you can figure out what it takes to make a woman happy good luck! More power to ya.