Is a girls future with men determined by her father?

Question

The way they would have been brought up and treated by him? Thanks!

Answer 1

Who knows? My Daughter's dad is an ar*e,he was always making promises he couldn't kep,would disappear for months at a time & generally treated her like cr*p,still does infact-she's 16 now and he's generally a waste of space in parenting terms,yet because it's her Dad she puts up with it.
Now she has a boyfriend,and he walked all over her last week (made her cry,acted like he hadn't done anything etc),and she let him-we told her to dump him or at least lay down some ground rules but she was really soft on him much to our frustration...can't help thinking the 2 are connected?

Answer 2

I would say that we're all influenced by the people we have grown up and shared our lives with, but we don't just learn from our parents, we learn from all the behaviours that we have been exposed to. You find your own role models in your home, or another relative, a friend, TV, whatever you happen to connect with the most.

My husband can be very like my father when he's upset/angry, which has been good for me as I can deal with them both in the same way, i.e. leave the area asap! But, my husband is like the millenium version of my dad as well, he is much more able to talk about how he feels which my dad doesn't do so much. People are all so complex that it's not as cut and dried as the future being preset - you may go out of your way to avoid/attract a certain personality type, but there are a lot of other variables on the table as well, so the version mutates naturally.

Answer 3

My husband is really nothing like my father, but I think I wanted it that way. I love my dad, but I think he's too strict and stubborn...however, I do realise that my husband is a lot like his father which is something I would rather not get into. We have huge communication problems and have only been married for a few years. Sometimes I wonder if we're right for eachother but no one is perfect. To answer your question from my point of view, I think that girls gain an idea of what a marriage is like by the way they are raised and the influences in their lives during childhood.....whether it be an older sibling, grandparent, or anyone influencial. I don't think a girls future is specifically determined by their father only.

Answer 4

I do think it has a profound impact on the girl and the men she chooses. It can change though if the girl realizes what she is doing. Sometimes it can be a good thing and sometimes it's a negative impact. It depends on the relationship she had with her father. My wife and I have talked about this before and she agrees that she went after the bad guys when she was younger because her Dad was a drinker, golfer, ex Drill Sargeant manly man. She went through a lot of bad relationships before she realized what was happening. She had been looking for a rebel like her Dad and they never gave her the emotional support she needed. Just the thing she lacked from her Dad growing up. Yes, it affects their relationships a lot.

Answer 5

To a certain point, all children have to come to grips with the image that the parents have upon them when dealing with others, especially in relationships.

So, its not simply the 'other' parent that helps us determine how 'well' we are with other people. If one parent is crappy, but one parent is semi well-adjusted, the qualities can help offset the negativity.

Also, although a parent is a dominating factor, it can be mitigated (or magnified) by other factors: social contacts outside the parental circle, positive relationships, avenues of self-determined positivism (activities that can bolster self-esteem that the person chooses to engage in).

It's usually never one thing. Even someone who had a really bad relationship wtih the parent of the opposite sex can still have a healthy realtionship. Oftentimes, even girls who date healthy men who are 'not' like their father at all (or so they say) can still find (or be shown) 'positive' aspects of their father in their mate. In other words, even if the girl's father was an abusive alcoholic, but socially gregarious, its more likely that she will find (and be compatible with) a healthy mate who will reflect the positive aspects of the father (socially gregarious) but not the negative (abusive alcoholic). Thats because parents pass on both good and bad aspects, even if we are unaware of it. Learning to differentiate between the two, and learning that it's ok to do so, is the tricky part.

Answer 6

It depends on what you mean by "future with men". I liked my dad a lot and thought he was a great guy; he influenced me in a lot of ways. But kids are always influenced by the people and environments around them, not just their fathers.

I'm queer (a female-bodied, btw, though yahoo avatars have ridiculous restrictions on how one can represent oneself in cartoon form) so chances are I'm not going to be marrying any men anytime soon - though you never know. My relative non-"future with men" (as you put it) has nothing at all to do with my father at all.

Of course, if one's father was violent, aggressive, absent, abusive, or otherwise negative, I would definintely expect that a child's experience and opinion of men to be greatly affected by the closest man in their lives - the father. The same goes for really great fathers that leave a lasting, positive impression on their children on what it means to be a man, a father, etc.

So in answer to your question, no. A girls future with men is not determined by the father, but the level of influence and outcome of this influence by the father definitely factors in, in varying degrees.

Answer 7

It is rarely true that a woman wants to marry a man that is like her father, but that is not what you were asking. A father has a profound impact on his daughter and she forms her view of men based on that relationship. My 15-year-old daughter and I are close. She is happy, confident, secure, and not boy-crazy. I take this responsibility seriously as a father.

Answer 8

I married a man who is nothing like my father. The way my father treated my mother showed me exactly what I didn't want in a man.

Answer 9

I guess! Imagine your father astounded at your husband saying, "Him! After all that I've done for you?!" well, in this case I mean in terms of race, religion etc. But like the first comment, you're husband can portray all the things that you wished your father had!; for example a caring personality.

Answer 10

Totally, A person will seek men that remind them of their father. (most of the time). If they are strong willed they will rebel and take a person who has some features which are completly contraditory to those of their father!