why do I feel the way I do?

Question

I'm 39. I've been very short tempered, I know I'm doing it but can't stop myself. I'm mentioned this to my doctor. She said well you are nearly 40 and to keep a diary on how often I'm feeling like this. My husband is American and is living in the US. Myself and my children are hoping to join him as soon as we can but I'm going to have to go to court as I know their biological father will not give permission. I've just got back from seeing him. Now I'm feeling insecure and paranoid. I don't know if it's stress I've got or my hormones. My blood pressure is also up to what it should be. I'm having some blood tests done and I've asked to have my hormone level checked. I hate feeling this way because it's not me at all. I usually have webcam onto my husband so we can speak at any time. Last night the webcam kept disconnecting for some reason. It's strange I cannot sleep when it's off. I sleep easier when I can hear him in the background either doing something or even snoring

I've just read what I've typed and it sounds as though I'm going crazy

Thank you so much for understanding. I've just had a few tears. II told my husband once how I felt, he said to me, take a look at the rings on your finger!!!! lol

I used to be a gym freak, lifting weights 4-5 nights a week. I stopped going few months ago. This week I started back. My daughter goes with me at the moment. Hopefully this will help.

I'm trying to get back into exercise but it's really hard getting motivated again. I can't believe i've gone from training so much to nothing. My appetite isn't good at the moment. Suppose it's all connected

slsvenus - how do I get a message to you?

Answer 1

You dont sound crazy to me to just stressed to hell!
And no wonder,you have got so much going on at the moment as well as missing your husband - its enough to stress anyone out.
Ask your GP for something to help, if he puts you on beta blockers for your high BP they may make you calmer and less anxious anyway.

Answer 2

Sounds like a combination of life changes and stress, you're missing your husband of course and you've got all the stress of the move and the problems with the children's natural father, court case etc. That's enough stress for anybody! And if you're working, taking care of your kids etc., more so.
The hormones can aggravate the loneliness and stress you're justifiably feeling. I don't think it's odd you can't sleep without the webcam on, it's your "connection" to your beloved for now! In the back of your mind you feel you could call him any time day or night if it's on, it's kind of a security blanket thing. Do as your dr. says, keep the diary, and those tests will help to show if there's an organic element in this. The gym is a good idea to help you relax and generate a few endorphins, the "happy hormone."
Cut yourself some slack and don't try to be the perfect mommy and homemaker right now, unless it helps you. All the best!

Answer 3

Hi Daisy - sounds like you are suffering from lots of stress and perhaps a touch of depression............. Your husband is halfway round the world and you are on your own fighting to be able to take your kids over there. I don't think you sound crazy, I would be feeling bad in your situation. I can understand the webcam thing, not hearing your husband everyday can be really frustrating and I actually think that's a lovely idea to keep it connected just to listen to him doing every day things. When I am tired or stressed I get incredibly short tempered and snappy as well. I am surprised that your doctor just said to keep a diary, it doesn't sound like they have taken you seriously. There are lots of things to do for stress but the main one is to slow down a little (not easy with kiddies!) Take a deep breath when you feel getting short tempered and think about all the good things you have in life. I hope your situation works out for you. If it's any consolation I couldn't get onto MSN Messenger at all last night - it kept telling me the system was down.

Answer 4

Hi Daisy, it sounds to me like you could possibly have a touch of depression kicking in, I started like that, being short tempered and that was totally out of character for me, over months it got worse until it was so bad i had to go into hospital for some help, i though i was losing my mind, I know its scary but keeping a diary is really good, i did it for quite a few months, i needed help in my train of thoughts as i am quite a negative person and always see the negative side, since having therapy i have found my train of thought alot better, i still have my moments but i am much better, i take anti depressants too which really help me. Hope this helps. Take care. Lupyloo.x

Answer 5

You're not crazy, but overwhelmed with housework, child care and other affairs in your life.
You have no one to support you, your husband is away (very far) and your ex is being a pain in the ****.
Anyone can feel like that, and I am impressed that you are so strong enough to handle it all by yourself.

Do the test you've got to do, but your problem is not in the blood, it's in your head.
You need to find a purpose in ife, you need support, and that is why you sleep better when you can hear your husband snoring through the webcam. He is your rock, abut your rock is away, but he is there, and waiting for you.

Kepe a diary as suggested by your doctor, but make some goals in life. realisitic goals though.

Your goals should focus on your immediate needs, such as talk to your husband everyday, keep your children happy, but most importantly keep your self happy.
You final goal is to move to the USA, and all minor goals should lead you to that, including get the approval from your ex to allow you to take your kids.

A diary will alow you to identify any goals that are not leading to this final goal.

You should find some activity you like to do. Keep your self distracted and positive.

I don't think you've got a problem, I just think the problems got you.

Answer 6

When my boyfriend and I were going through a long distance relationship, it was very stressful on us, because we'd both been cheated on in the past. he means so much to me and I don't think I'd be able to handle it if he left me, and he was the same. He'd call me several times each night to make sure I was there, and sometimes I'd feel like hyperventilating because I was so terrified of him cheating on me or something =) We left our webcams on as well for the same reasons. I think you're being paranoid and will be alright once you're with him. Don't worry. All men aren't pigs, especially ones who will be with you even though they know you have children, and are even willing to wait. You're very lucky.

Answer 7

I can relate! Try going out for a run twice a day, 1 in the morning and one before seven. Excersise helps stress build-up lower. As for the crazy part? An easy way to tell the difference between akward and crazy is to check your hair. If it is more coarse, tanglier, or dirtier, it's either stress or you haven't taken a shower in weeks.

Answer 8

hi daisy, i answered your previous question, and can understand how stressed you are. you have all these issues and you are going to be stressed for a while yet till they are all resolved...but resolved they will be, im sure you know lots of techniques to stay calm etc, but sometimes life is just overwhelming. you've just got to hang on in there and keep telling yourself this is tempory, it will resolve and you will be happy with hubby in america. focus on your plan of action, sort that waster of a ex out, when you see your solicitor, that will be a huge weight gone, then move onto the next stage, getting those flights booked. ive put my email on your last post, when it just gets too much drop me a line.x

Answer 9

I'm wondering if you're going through early menopause. It's not common but it does happen even for women as young as you.

Look into that and get counseling for depression. You feel this way because you've got a lot going on. You also state that it seems odd to you so your body may be trying to tell you something.

Answer 10

If you have been watching the Dr. Keith Oblow show he talks about something he has discovered call the anger illness. It seems like the underlying trigger to this is depression, stress and of course your background on how your parents treated you as a child. How did they handle anger with you as a child.