My daughter wants to have sex shes the oldest and she is 18should i let her and what should i tell her before?

Question

because i never had the talk and it's not what she thinks it it so what should i tell her she might not know?

Answer 1

First of all,don't think that she doesn't know everything just because you haven't told her.If she has a boyfriend,she knows it without your interference.And did I get it wrong or She Asks You For Permission To Have Sex???At 18??? That's not normal,honey.I'm 15 and I wouldn't ask my parents for permission to have sex,NEVER!If I want,I will have sex no matter what my parents think about it.In most cases I wouldn't even tell them.That is called personal life.And even though they haven't talked to me about sex and these things,I know everything in details.I have had a boyfriend who I dated with for a year and we didn't only hold our hands while walking...We passed through all stages before sex but didn't do it.And everything I learnt about sex was before I went to 8th grade(when reproductive system is studied).I read books and sites about sex and I knew everything at the age of 14-15.I don't think your daughter is soooo entirely in the dark about sex.

Answer 2

If she is 18 then there is not much you can do to stop her. Do you know for a fact she hasn't already? I'm just thinking that if she told you she wants to then you probably have a pretty good, trusting relationship, which is a great basis for a chat!

She probably learned the basics in school. When I turned of age my Mum bought me some condoms, saying that she would rather I didn't get that far, but if I did then I should be safe, and she didn't want me *not* using them because of being too embarrassed to buy them or something. I made an appointment myself to get on the pill. I was 16, but my Mum had always taught us about that sort of thing.

If you're unsure how to do it then go to a book store and buy a book about the birds and the bees, give that to her and say that you want her to be careful, and she should ask you any questions. Ask in the shop what they would recommend for that age group. Also, has she said she wants to know what happens, or are you assuming she needs "the talk"? If you're assuming then ask her how much she actually knows and understands about it. 18 is pretty old to comprehend.

Lastly, I would get leaflets from your doctor about different birth control methods and about STDs, or find info on the net about it all, and ask her if she wants any help to choose the best for her (i.e. the pill may not be ok if she would forget to take it) and point out that until she is in a long term relationship she should always use condoms as well as anything else.

Also, if your other children are teenagers of any age then they could do with discussing it too. Books are great, because they have the info in there, without the kids having to pretend it's not cool or that they are not embarrassed, like they may when they're talking with you. They can read it in privacy and actually take in the information.

My son has a book about the human body and the birds and the bees. He is nine, I bought for him just before his ninth birthday. So far he has just flicked through it, but it's there in his room when he needs it, and it's opened the path for later on, for him to know it's normal :)

CG.

Answer 3

It's wonderful that your daughter talks to you about personal issues. Why didn't you ever talk to her about sex? You talked to her about her body changing when she was younger- the sex talk goes hand in hand with that talk. She is 18 an does not need your permission to have sex. She may want your opinion but she will do what she wants when she feels she is ready. Sex is not something that you usually ask your parents permission for at any age. You need to take her to the gyno. If you have other children don't wait to talk to them. You don't give them a how-to when talking with them they will figure that out on their own like everyone else. You are very naive if you think your children don't know anything about sex.

Answer 4

I am taking a guess that your daughter has probably learnt a lot in the playground at school. So yes you should talk to her. You should probably take her to the doctor for 'the pill' and maybe buy her some condoms. I'm sure you probably don't want your daughter having sex but better to provide a safe environment than have consequences.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Honestly I am amazed there is still an 18-year-old virgin anywhere - but she is 18 and legally an adult and you wouldn't have anyway to stop her if she wanted to. You should have explained things about 7 years ago because now everything she knows she got from her friends and it might be wrong. Discuss birth control for sure and since she has waiting this long ask her why now is the time - is she in a serious relationship etc

Answer 6

wow, hard to believe she's 18 and u havent talked to her yet...i started talking to my daughter about sex, even tho limited, in elementary school.

i would sit her down and ask what questions she has, discuss birth control and STD's, ask why she wants to have sex now, is she ready...is she ready to be a mother b/c pregnancy is always a possibility...and u didnt say how old the others are, u may want to have that talk b4 they reach 18, unfortunately kids are having sex much earlier today and need to have "the talk" at an early age..not condoning early sex but its gonna happen either way

Answer 7

Wow, first of all you have to appreciate the fact that she told you this, so please don't be harsh when you're explaining things to her. I know that it's going to be difficult because as a good parent you want to tell her to wait because she's too young to have sex, but now that she's thinking it there is a great possibility that she'll do it, so be honest, be plain, tell her everything that comes along with it, she needs to understand what she's getting herself into. I always say that a woman's pride is her virginity. Good Luck

I will be praying for you

Answer 8

I myself am 18 as well and know despite what there parents want to think, alot could care less what they tell them to do or advise them not to. Considering she is 18 its not really up to you, and even if she was not 18, if she was going to have sex she is going to have sex.

Just make sure you sit down with her and tell her about being safe. Let her know that she can come talk to you about anything if she needs to. I assume that she has already come to you considering you know she wants to. Unless you have a really close relationship it may be just as uncomfortable to her as it may be to you to talk about having sex. But if she knows she can come to you with any questions she may have and you are supportive it will be alot easier for the both of you.

Answer 9

I am 17, but my mother has always let me know that if and when the time comes that I decide to have sex just to let her know so that I can be put on birth control and visit the doctors. If I were you, I would not discourage her from being able to talk to you about these things. Just remember you are the parent. You should be the one to talk to her about this and you are the one that should advise her to go to gynecologist appointments just to be safe. I have known many girls my age that are not able to talk to their parents about these things and do not use protection because of either not being able to get it, or not being able to afford it. Just let your daughter know to always use protection and talk to her like an adult, no one likes to be patronized.

Answer 10

LETS 1st start off by saying that I'm not judging you.If we as parents do not start talking to our children then this world will teach them any and everything. I would rather my child learn things like that from me than someone else.I would not tell my child something wrong or something to hurt her so I pray that you feel the same.Your daughter is at an age were if this is something that she has her mind set to do she is going to do it regardless of what you say.Please stress the importance of HIV/AIDS.I find myself taking care of 2 many young people with this disease and it is nothing to play with at all!