Well he came to see me twice in my apartment. We are not close at all. His grandmother and my aunt are close friends but since both of them are in their senior yrs and are ill - the two of us (the grandson and I) communicate thru text messages and to check how his grandma is and how my aunt is doing. 1st time he came to my place was to sell me insurance and at the same time to tell me about his life story then proceeded to tell me if I needed anything he'll be more than happy to help even if it was just to talk. 2nd time he came over was to ask me how I was and then he proceeded to tell me more about his life, the way he struggled with it and how he handled everything. He's very friendly and being too open that it's alarming - alarming bec he's got a wife and kids and that 2nd time he visited me was after he got out from work and his visit lasted 'til 10pm. Am I just being paranoid?
2007-03-16 23:26:41 · 19 answers · asked by Sunflowers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just remembered his wife works the graveyard shift while he works during the day time. He also mentioned that he is more of a risk taker while his wife is the opposite. The 1st time he told me he was coming to see me I told him I could meet him at the mall then he said he'd just go straight to my apartment. If he asks to visit the 3rd time I'll tell him to meet me at the mall or somewhere where it won't be just the two of us.
2007-03-16 23:52:31 · update #1
No I'd say his visits are not perfectly welcome. You already said that he's so open and friendly that you're becoming alarmed. If it was really all so innocent then your gut would not be telling you that something was wrong, and you wouldn't have had the idea to ask if this was okay. Listen to your inner voice, it knows everything.
2007-03-16 23:31:13 · answer #1 · answered by charmedchiclet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be causious though, as you know such a lot about his life and the fact that he is married, just pollitely ask him what his motives are.
Perhaps he sees in you a lovely down to earth lady who will give him the time of day and listen to him, perhaps thats what his wife lacks
Be careful because more or less eventually he will find you attractive and start looking into this a little deeper. Tell him now that you are worried about his visits and be open and honest with him.
He should be equally open and honest but if you get an incling that he wants more than just friendship run the other way.. Married men are just that, if hes getting cold feet and is looking for something lacking make sure he knows its not your door he knocks on..
2007-03-16 23:33:06 · answer #2 · answered by Scatty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be careful. You can be friendly but if you are finding something alarming like being at your place from after work until 10 - something's not right. A man who is happily married isn't going to be totally comfortable with spending that much time in the lone presence of another woman while his wife is elsewhere. You can be right out with it and nice too. Let him know he's a nice guy but would rather keep the friendship at a distance so there's no possibility of a future problem.
2007-03-16 23:34:19 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No ! After 30 minutes of visiting after work you should have gone to the phone to call his wife and advise her he would be late as he was visiting with you ,of course tell him what your doing just so that she won't worry.
He wants your body.
Your naive but that's not all bad. Try to keep believing the best of all in people and forgive this fellow "It's a man thing" sometimes we wonder if we still have "IT"
I see several ladies who answered as being easily seduced from my past experience.
2007-03-16 23:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it makes you feel uncomfortable then tell him to stop coming over. It could be that he is stressed out and just needs an unbiased person to talk to but if you aren't comfortable about it then you shouldn't have to be in that situation, especially in your own home. Maybe the next time, you could tell him you are busy so you can't visit but tell him to call you and you can meet somewhere so you can leave when you want to.
2007-03-16 23:37:08 · answer #5 · answered by BJTD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not paranoid. It's sounds like he's either looking for someone to just listen to him - why he picked you...seeing as you are not that close, i don't know.He could be looking for another partner on the side. Talking to him would be a wise idea but that would take a lot of courage. Be careful, good luck.
2007-03-16 23:38:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he just wants someone to talk to. Some guys can't tell their wives EVERYTHING that's going on in their heads and their hearts... they feel that they have to show their masculine side and that emotions will weaken them in the eyes of others. Same thing applies with their guy friends... think about the last time you heard a group of guys talk about their emotions, it doesn't happen unless they're in an AA meeting. With no one to voice his problems (and talk them out) to, then it's no surprise he came to you to release that tension. You're a "family friend" who doesn't know his immediate family, and you're an outsider looking in. It sounds like you're his shoulder to lean on.
2007-03-16 23:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by Mystery_Woman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it does sound rather suspicious to me. From what your telling me it sounds like he's looking for some "excitement in his life" if you catch my meaning since obviously a happily married man with a wife and children would not act in such a way.
2007-03-16 23:32:26 · answer #8 · answered by outcast_jimmy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it all. You are a responsible and intelligent young lady in my eyes. This kind of behavior is not perfectly decent for a married man, as he would otherwise be free to invite you to his home and present you to his friends if it was that innocent...talk to your aunt about it. mention it a casual way
and ask her what there is to be done, that's what aunts are for.
2007-03-16 23:37:48 · answer #9 · answered by Lucas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
paranoid or not...let him know you dont feel comfortable accepting visits. Just tell him it is not a good time. Tell him, its much more convinient by mail, sms.
His intentions might be the very best, but if you dont feel at ease...there is no point in the friendship
2007-03-16 23:33:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋