Having them pick sides, include their opinons, etc. Young age.
2007-03-16 21:59:28 · 14 answers · asked by fslcaptain737 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It is forcing them to make adult decisions - which they are not equipped to do.
When you involve children in adult disputes and make them decide- THEY ARE THE ONES HURT.
They should be allowed to love each parent without reprecussion.
2007-03-16 22:08:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, the general idea of the child's emotional SHELTER, which is to be represented by the parents (both if possible or at least ONE consistent), is shattered.
Even an adult who loses the roof over their house due to a hurricane would feel threatened, insecure, hurt, and afraid.
Second, forcing the child to choose 'sides' in a conflict between two people he/she loves, probably equally before the adults being to play their silly games, and then forcing the child AGAIN to negate their choice and side with the OTHER parent, is CRAZYMAKING.
It would be better for parents to SEPARATE than to fight in front of their children, and asking for opinions or picking sides is plain cruel.
Might as well give them up to a crack dealer on the street right now.
2007-03-16 22:12:14 · answer #2 · answered by flywho 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Including a child in a parental conflict forces the child to chose sides. This can cause feelings of anxiety and guilt. No child should have to be put in the middle of a parents fight. We are the adults we should know better. Children naturally love their parents and having to chose between the two makes the child pick a 'favorite'. Then he or she feels that they have hurt the parent they didn't chose. This doesn't include the feeling that they are somehow to blame for the fight. Be a responsible adult and leave your children out of your conflicts.
2007-03-16 22:20:51 · answer #3 · answered by candy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You named the main problem. Children love both parents and forcing them to choose at a young age puts a lot of stress on a child.
2007-03-16 22:04:33 · answer #4 · answered by DizziDazi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy are you kidding? Having the kids pick a parent? Or grilling before and after every visitation - thats a way to ensure in the end they will hate both of you and count the minutes till they turn 18 and can stop seeing both parents - seen it a million times!
2007-03-17 02:27:52 · answer #5 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children don't have an understanding of the big picture like you do. Their life with their two parents is everything they've ever known. The parents lives together is the children's whole world. So separation from that world is much more terrifying for children than it is for the parents because the parents have experience outside of that. For children, fear of losing all that they know can be traumatic.
2007-03-16 22:07:33 · answer #6 · answered by Pallas 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Including children in parental conflict forces a child to chose sides!! And somehow, no matter which side they chose; they LOSE!!!!
I've been there. If I chose one parent, the other parent got angry at me & vise versa!!
2007-03-20 15:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by ilovepoison2820 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's fairly unhappy which you may group those human beings in with all Christians. no longer all Christians are illiberal and hateful. God loves definitely everyone, and no person has the only right suited to tell you in any different case. that's no person's place to choose absolutely everyone else's life-type. The 'Christians' that belittle you're no longer doing a stable activity showing the forgiveness, love, know-how and convenience their God gives you.
2016-10-01 01:49:07 · answer #8 · answered by schenecker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my nephew's case...he's very insecure..he looks like he's got problems even at a young age..he's now 8..
his parents are divorced...
he would try to gain attention and love from others..it's a sad case...it's better if he had no parents at all...when he's got both and they are both immature selfish brats...
his parents would shove him around like a tennis ball...an inconvenience..they also used him as a weapon against each other..they are now fighting for full custody of him...so that one get more child support...and the other dont have to pay for child support..not only that they are doing it out of spite...lol..not taking his needs into account..
we had a birthday party for our kids..his cousins.late last year....he came and hid in the corner and wont come out to play...then he cried and wanted to go home..
we only found out later that his dad brought home the new wife and new baby brother the night before...he felt left out...sleeping by himself while his dad sleeps with her and the baby..
kids are very sensitive..never involve kids in fights or say bad things about each other in front of them..their love is unconditional for both parents..
2007-03-16 23:50:52 · answer #9 · answered by dewdrops 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It makes them have to deal with issues that are well beyond their grasp. It creates a great deal of stress in their little lives. They desperately want to have both parents loving them equally and they don't want to have to be in the middle. It's sick when people do that kind of stuff to their children. It truly changes who they are.
2007-03-16 22:07:31 · answer #10 · answered by Gabrielle Rose 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋