I recently just got back with my ex. He really messed up in the past (cheated on me, disrespected my feelings in front of people, lied, told people he never wanted to be with me and it was always me chasing him etc etc)and only realised that he wanted me back after i started seeing this other guy. The current situation is that i broke up with the boyfreind and now am back with my ex. He is being the sweetest guy to me, doing and saying the right things and being the guy I always wanted. However, he does not want us to tell people that we are together and does not want us to be seen in public together.... basically at parties. He rather just chill with me alone and dine me out. Is there something to it? Should I be worried??
2007-03-16 21:36:15 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I guess the real problem here is that you really love this guy, eh!
You need to talk to him about the reasons why he doesn't want your relationship disclosed.
It could be that he's afraid of what his mates might think of him, for messing you around in the past, a guy's reputation means a real lot to him.
Alternatively it could be he has another 'friend' & he wants to keep it that way!
If it is the former, try to come to an agreement that will suit both of you.
Life is never as simple as people portray it to be, what is 'normal' for one relationship, may simply be impossible for another, try not to judge your relationship by those that your friends/family are in, as believe me underneath the surface, there are many factors that determine this perceived normality.
You say that he came back to you when you were in other relationship, to me (the objective bystander) it seems that he does care about you, he realized this and wants to try and make a go of things.
Try to be patient with him, nothing in life is ever guaranteed to work, its through the hard decisions that we make, that we are able to reap the rewards.
GOOD LUCK
2007-03-17 05:23:17 · answer #1 · answered by Lizzo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He maybe feels that if you are at parties etc; with other people there that he might start saying stupid things about you again and doesn't want to take the chance of upsetting you.
However I don't believe that's the case. I would be worried if i was you especially if he has cheated and lied to you in the past.
Arrange a night out with friends and see what happens, if he doesn't go then he's up to something.
2007-03-17 04:43:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be afraid, be very afraid! It seems to me that he wants you just because someone else wants you but if you were still single he wouldn't care less. Why doesn't he want to tell people that you are back together? Seems dodgy to me. You could see how it goes but I don't see the point. What are you going to do? Hide away together for the rest of your lives? Seems as if he is embarrassed to with you in public for some reason. I think he is jealous because you can have a life without him and he doesn't like that. It's up to you and it's you and only you that knows what is best for you. Good luck.
2007-03-17 04:51:06 · answer #3 · answered by foxy4t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok two points here.
There are only two reasons for this
1) He is a liar and a cheat, he would behave like this if he wanted to see other people too.
2) You embarass him and but for some reason you disresepct him or you have an alcohol problem or something like that, or maybe he doesnt actually trust you.
It will be one or the other... if its 1) and he appears to have history, then get out.
If it might be 2) then takea good look at yourself and sort yourself out.
2007-03-17 05:26:44 · answer #4 · answered by capelli_666 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol!!! I not laughing at you hun, its just ... been there done that one!!! This is the thing. When a guy breaks up with you with a huge news report and then goes back with you, he's embarrassed. You became forbidden fruit when you started dating. He didnt want no one else to have you. Also known as jealousy and possessiveness. Unfortunately, there are beings who are like that and want to spoil you're fun and envy that you can move on without them. Sorry, but you should have stayed with your new guy and be appreciated by him, cos you can bet your old one is definitely not right now and wont in the future. So get out of it before you get sucked in any further. Good Luck!
2007-03-17 07:13:16 · answer #5 · answered by chiccigyal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
doesn't sound right to me. I'm wondering if, during the period you weren't together, he got together with another lady and perhaps isn't with her now but he may have introduced her to his friends and his crowd. Now you're back on the scene, he's trying to keep that fact hidden by not having you show up in his crowd, where people might ask where his last girlfriend was or how she is. Or she may even be one of the crowd and he might have told her embarrassing stories about you and can't risk you meeting and her spilling the beans.
All of this might not be true, but there's clearly something he's trynig to hide. I'd ask him outright if he had a relationship during your split, and try to get the details. Then it's over to you how to manage this. Good luck.
2007-03-17 04:55:27 · answer #6 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm no expert but I think he's just got you for a standby. If he's not wanting to be seen out with you, to me its saying I'm not with anyone and I'm available, and at parties perfect opportunity to find a bit on the side.
He can't think that much of you to cheat on you in the first place, most likely he will cheat on you again in the future when the novelty of having you back has gone away.I hope I'm wrong but be very careful sounds a bit dodgy to me.
2007-03-17 05:40:29 · answer #7 · answered by monkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has a mentality of "if i cant have her nobody else can", which is why he got you to dump your b/f, but as he's OBVIOUSLY still playing around with other girls of course he cant be seen in public with you as he would lose his bit on the side, or maybe you're the bit on the side now and he has a steady g/f or f**k friend??
whatever it is, leave now.
he will end up hurting you emotionally,mentally an dmaybe physically, you deserve better.
maybe your b/f you just left will take you back?
otherwise leave, learn to love yourself better, take assertiveness classes and wait for a decent man to turn up.
do not let this idiot rule your life anymore. he wont change.
2007-03-17 04:48:20 · answer #8 · answered by hedgewitch 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he is just being ashamed of being seen with you after all the false stories he told. he doesn't want to be laughed at by his friends. and these are not qualities of a good boy friend. in case he doesn't know, he is inderectly showing you that you are less important. he is not serious about this relationship because in a more serious case, he will choose other things instead of you. A serious boyfriend will be proud of his girlfriend wherever they are.
i think he is just using you. you've already been hurt by him on several occasions, you don't wanna give him this other opportunity. "i guess". who knows if he doesn't have other girl friends? watch him closely and see for yourself. I don't advice you to keep on seeing him. i think he's out to ruin you socially, emotionally and physically. he doesn't deserve you. think about it.
I wish you the best. just a friend.
2007-03-17 05:30:35 · answer #9 · answered by b-ball rooky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1ce if he has disrespested ur feelings there is no need for u to go back to him ...he is just insecure after seeing u wid other guy...he wants to create an image in d public tat ur still for him and still kindda chasing him...but the truth is even he lks u but thn if he really does he shldnt have any problem in being wid u in d public...and wat is the guarantee tat he wont hurt u l8r in life?...i think u shld've gone arnd wid the new guy u were going arnd and give ur life a fresh turn thus maintaining ur self-respect and dignity not only in public eyes but also in ur own eyes....
2007-03-17 04:45:55 · answer #10 · answered by harsha s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋