Well within my rights to not reveal I am pregnant & due to some complications, I was advised that I had a justifiable reason not to. Legally, you do not have to reveal to work that you are until 3 mths before your due date. Desperate for a job, thrilled at the prospects of the one I finally got, I got around my feelings of guilt (I felt dishonest) by reading great articles such as the one in this link: http://www.medzilla.com/press100303.html. I finally told my manager yesterday. She was initially thrilled until she heard that I was 5 months along. Having met me at language school & later recommending me for a job (she receives a large finders fee), she confirmed that had I said I was pregnant during the interview, I would not have been hired (highly illegal) & being the person who recommended me for the job, had she known prior, she would never have recommended me. If I had told them, I would be not be working now. I know I was within my rights but why do I feel so awful?
2007-03-16 21:29:05 · 9 answers · asked by faneuil101 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Is it morally correct for a company to not hire you if you are pregnant when you have every intention to return after your maternity leave and to do the best job you can? Why are pregnant women advised and counciled on their rights if acting on those rights causes them to act immorally? Companies have confidential information that may have a strong affect on a new hires decision to join a firm yet they are in no way obligated to reveal that information when they interview you. Why can't it be seen as the same for a pregnant woman and her private affairs who does not have the same resources as a large company and requires the job for her families livelihood?
2007-03-16 21:46:45 · update #1
Thanks so much for all your great answers. They've helped me feel so much better. I just wish I had been stronger and more confident yesterday when giving the news. I knew I had done nothing wrong and yet felt the need to give unneccessary explanations for the delay in telling them. Not proud of the way I handled the situation at all.
2007-03-17 02:50:57 · update #2
You have acted within the law and you have no reason to feel guilty. Being pregnant is not illegal and applying for a job isn't either. I guess you didn't disclose that you were pregnant because you believed you would be discriminated against. Your boss has shown that your instincts were (unfortunately) correct!
Do not feel guilty for this. Your boss and company should feel guilty for being so narrow-minded and thinking the way they do. Your boss benefitted from your being hired (financially) and your company has obviously got the financial capabilities to manage your absence during your maternity leave. If they can pay a large finder's fee they can pay for temporary cover while you are off.
Would you feel guilty if you took the job and were then incapacitated by an illness or accident? Why feel guilty for a basic human right to have a family life.
Ensure that you are worth the money that they pay you and do your job well and stop worrying about the morals of the situation. They clearly aren't worrying about their morals!
2007-03-16 23:08:45 · answer #1 · answered by Rats 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You were within your rights both morally and legally. Most women chose not to tell an employer until they are 6 months because the odds of miscarriage in the 1st two trimesters is so high. I didn't tell my manager until I was 6 1/2 months. The fact that they admitted they would not have hired you shows that you were right to not tell them. You feel awful probably because you normally don't lie and this could be considered lying by omission, but this was a good "lie". Just go on being happy with your pregnancy and your job. There is nothing that they can do to you so don't worry about it.
2007-03-16 21:50:20 · answer #2 · answered by lilly j 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've worked at places where they won't hire someone if they are pregnant. Don't let anyone tell you that you were morally wrong. You are in no way required to tell work. You have already found out that you would not have been hired. As you said, it's illegal for them to turn you down for that reason, but there are all kinds of reasons they would make up. They would have broken the law, but you're concerned about being "nice" to them. I'm serious, though. Do not feel bad about it in any way. You did nothing wrong. And who defines what's moral in a situation like this? If they hadn't hired you, that, in my opinion, is a hundred times more immoral than what you did. Don't feel bad at all!!!!
2007-03-16 21:41:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For some reason I just get pissed when I read your question.. Excuse my language but F*uck her. It isn't any of her business that you are pregnant until you make it her business. I mean come on now. She was happy at first but until you told her that you were 5 months?? Most women dont found out until at least a month. So she is going to make you feel like sh*t over 4 months. Don't feel bad be happy that you are pregnant. If I were you I would sit her down and tell her how horrible she made you feel!
2007-03-16 21:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is not morally wrong. This is why the Pregnancy Discrimination Act of 1978 was put in place.
You do not have to reveal your pregnancy to any potential or current employer. THAT IS YOUR RIGHT!
You have no reason to feel bad and don't let your employer bring you down about it. They cannot fire you because of it either and if they try to give some other excuse you can fight it.
Pregnancy is not a disability.
2007-03-16 21:37:45 · answer #5 · answered by hollilynn 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
why do u feel bad?
doesnt it make u angry to know u, a perfectly capable and worthy asset to the company, would NOT have been hired just because you are going thru a natural process?
YOU feel bad because YOU were almost a victim of discrimination?
its a medical condition, would u feel bad if u didnt tell ur job u had aids? whose business is it?
trust me, you would feel even worse if you had to struggle feed your child simply because u didnt get an adequate job because u were being "honest".
2007-03-16 21:43:45 · answer #6 · answered by jean grey 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sorry honey - but I had the same problem.
Plus while you have every intention of going back to work - that little baby might change your mind....it did mine so I was glad I didn't get the job.
2007-03-16 22:23:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you are well within yoru rights BUT I think its just proper to let them know.
Its the decent thing to do.
2007-03-16 21:35:49 · answer #8 · answered by who_me? 3 · 0⤊ 5⤋
Because while you were within your legal rights, you were still morally dishonest.
2007-03-16 21:33:11 · answer #9 · answered by tony1athome 5 · 0⤊ 5⤋