Can you make me laugh?

Answer 1

blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes.

He asks what she is doing.

She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....

FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS




blonde bird rings the fire brigade says her house is on fire... fireman asks, '' how do i get there?''

blonde replies ''durrrrrr! in the big red truck!''



2 blonde women have been found frozen to death outside a cinema.
They had been queing for 3 weeks to see ''closed for winter''

Q. Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?
A. In case she had to draw some blood


Q: Why was the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She was throwing all the W's away.

.Q: What would you do if a Blond threw a hand grenade right at you?
A: You'd pull the pin and throw it back.


A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.

The doctor asked her "What happened?"

She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"

"The person called back."


Q. How do you get a blonde to climb on the roof?
A. Tell her that the drinks are on the house.

Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: Because she loved children.




A blonde was driving down the highway very slowly, so a cop pulled her over. The cop walked up to the car and said, "Do you know how fast you were going"
And the blonde replies, "Yeah, 18 sir."
"The speed limit is 60, it is dangerous to be going this slow"
"But the sign back there said the speed limit was 18."
"Mam, that was the highway sign" as the cop said this he noticed 3 quivering girls in the back. He has to the blonde, "What is wrong with them?"
The Blonde responded, "Well, we just got off Highway 177"


There was this man who wanted to prove to everyone blondes weren't stupid and that it was a stereotype. So he got together a group of random blondes and pulled one to the front and asked her what's 2+2 and she screamed 20. Then the other blondes yelled give her another chance. So he said okay whats 5+5. Then the blonde shouted 20. Then all the blondes yelled give her another chance!So he said okay last one, what's 10+10, and the blondee shouted 20!
Then all the blondes yelled give her another chance!


Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and dyed brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?"
The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, "Of course."
The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, "352."
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."
The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?



A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde, after looking about, responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should; she was standing on it. Do you think she's dumb?"
"No. I guess I'm guilty of being influenced by all the dumb blonde joke e-mails we've been receiving."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."


There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note:
I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, the Blonde.
She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.
The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note:
Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!



A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"



One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Answer 2

A humorous one and that i provide you a large call. right it rather is a humorous(!!) ghosts chat. 2 ghosts met and the two chat approximately how they died. 1st ghost : How u died? 2nd ghost : I died of chilly. 1st ghost : How does it experience once you're death in chilly? 2nd ghost : actual, i became by twist of destiny locked interior the refrigerator. initially, i became shivering, then my finished physique began to freeze, later I felt the entire international became dark and that i died suffocating. 1st ghost : Wow what a terrible thank you to die.... 2nd ghost : How approximately you? How u die? 1st ghost : I died from heart attack. 2nd ghost : I see, why did u have a heart attack? 1st ghost : actual, i found out that my spouse is having an affair with yet another guy. sometime, as quickly as I got here lower back from artwork, observed a pair of guy footwear outdoors my abode. Then, i found out that the guy became in my abode with my spouse. as quickly as I rushed into the mattress room, my spouse became on my own. i might desire to locate the place that bastard is hiding. So I searched the lavatory, I ran downstairs, appeared interior the storeroom, however the bastard became no longer there. So, I ran upstairs and searched the cloth wardrobe, yet i chanced on no longer something. using fact of all that working,I have been given a heart attack and died. 2nd ghost : Why you by no ability seem for the bastard interior the refrigerator? The bastard became hiding there. We the two could be alive now!!

Answer 3

A horse fell into the mud.

I had asked a similar question and someone wrote that, and I thought that was funny

Answer 4

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court???


Cause he heard the ref was blowing fowls!

Answer 5

http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/funnypic464.htm

HOPE DAT MAKES U LAUGH........................... :)

Answer 6

Blonds are smart!!!! helped?

Answer 7

No, I can't

Answer 8

...yes but sadly, not here.......