I feel too embarrassed to go out in public, I think people are staring at me and think I am ugly and laughing?

Question

I have issues with my my self-esteem(or lack thereof). I feel so ugly and hideous that I am too embarrassed to go out in public sometimes because I feel people will see me and think how ugly I am or laugh at me behind my back. I also have trouble being in relationships because I think no one could possibly be attracted to me, and if they do show interest it must only be as a joke or to make fun of me. I think that no one could love me. People have told me that I am quite pretty and they don't know why I worry so much about my appearance, I'm sure they put it down to vanity or complete self-absorbance. When guys have commented and said things like "I think you're hot" I don't believe them and think they are lying. I feel like I am not worthy of a relationship because it would be embarrassing for another person to be seen with me. I hate everything about myself and my sister constantly makes fun of me and things like when I used to throw up after eating, and when i used to self-harm.

I am on on 100mg zoloft every day, but I feel like it no longer helps. I am highly educated, speak several languages, am musical, and when I was at school I was considered highly gifted and received scholarships to study at a prestigious boarding school. I have heaps of friends that love me and are supportive and caring, but I don't know why I have such low self-esteem and feel that if I don't look pretty they won't like me. I am at a complete loss as to what to do and I have tried to talk about these things to my family but they didn't understand and thought I was just vain and my sister is very cruel with her comments and insists that I am a weak b**** and I should just grow up get over it and she laughs and says I am pathetic and a loser all the time. I don't know what to do, I hate being like this and I do feel like such a loser for not being able to get over this feeling and for not just getting on with life.

thanks for your anwser boobaby454, but I have never been physically abused, but I do have a family that fights a lot with each other.

Answer 1

It's called Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

Please see another therapist and have your medication re-evaluated. You need to be treated for this specifically.

You can learn more here:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/body-dysmorphic-disorder/DS00559

Answer 2

I dont see what the problem really is....
I mean people have told you that your pretty but you just dont seem to believe them, or is it you dont want to believe them ??
Usually when a guy tells a girl she's hot its supposed to raise her self esteem not make it drop even lower!!

Sometimes things may have happened in the past which make you feel unwanted or unworthy but its not like that.
We are all God's cration and he made each of us different. If you are not pleased with how you look then you are insulting God's creation.

Next time you look in the mirror, smile and say 'Hey Gorgeous!'. Then put on your sexiest outfit and walk out those doors proud.


You said you used or not sure if you still do throw up and harm yourself. Thats screams attention and troubled all over it. Go talk to a trusted school teacher or a counsellor or priest or your parents. You'll find it'll be a lot easier just to open up to someone.

Answer 3

Well you are right it is your self esteem, and you really need to work on that, so you can get on with a normal life, whatever that may be. Yea i had a younger sister that liked to make fun of me too, that will end one day. You need to go an seek some serious professional help. One to get that self esteem up, and can remember hating to hear any thing positive about myself, even from my therapist, but you need to hear it, and believe it. I am not going to tell you that it is an easy thing, cause it is not. More so when you are feel as low as you do.
Nor do you need that eating disorder, i have a sister that has it, and she would love to tell you all about it, so please eat, and do not throw it back up, if you can not stop from doing that then maybe you need to check into an hospital, and they will help you with that too. As for self harming, that don't really do anything for you neither, at first it seems like it does, but you learn as time goes on that it just takes more self harming to give you relief, and the relief gets shorter so you need to do it more and more. These are not good coping skills and you need to go and get hooked up with a therapist, and work through your problems, which i will admit is not going to be easy. You need to be as truthful as you can be, otherwise it will be a waste, for you and your therapist. So Please go and get some help, and over the week end if you feel that you need help, call your local crisis line, go into the er, or even call the police, and just talk to them, but please keep yourself safe, and please get some serious help for your self esteem and your other problems.

Answer 4

Thank god you see this as a feeling to get over. If you regarded all this as a disease and needed to take many pills to kill the disease you would be in real danger. There is an answer but it is not simple or short. There will come a time when you will separate yourself from friends and family and find one new friend like yourself and slowly begin to sort out life around you. Good luck and no it ain't in the book.

Answer 5

Grand Duchess, you're too self-conscious and this is not good. Do you have a best friend there who's willing to tell the truth to your face? If so, then ask her about your appearance. If she tells you that you look okay, then it's safe to put down your guard. The way you block other people out of life will only get you more misery. It's true. As I see it, you have two problems right now. One, you're overly self-conscious. Two: and yet, you also want to open up and be loved, that's why you're here. One of these two problems must go: shrink or open up. You know which to choose.

Answer 6

Were you by chance physically abused as a child? I'm wondering! You have to Believe in you Self and hold your head high and stop thinking about what other people are thinking. They are thinking a million things in their minds and I'm sure it's not about you.Did you ever stop to think they could be thinking about their own problems. Financial-Realtionships-Death of a Loved one and that makes you feel like the world should stop but it keeps on spinning. I could go on and on, but if you are self- conscious and are walking around like this, people can smell it alot of times like a hound- dog. You make them uncomfortable if you have ever thought about it. I'm sure you have. You just have to get up and go and stop wondering if everyone is thinking about you. I'm sure if I passed you in W-mart or for that matter had to follow you or stand in line behind you-I can assure you Dear I am most certainly not thinking about you. I have a life to and I have problems of my own just like everyone else does. Hey I was so self conscious about my looks I had a nose job 3 years ago. I have always wanted one. I got it and I feel great. I felt great before but I wanted to improve-so I done it and don't regret it.I didn't do it for no one but myself- I hated my nose and so I changed it for myself-I must say it did help my self confidence, but that was not the most underlying problem for me. I just wanted it for me. I don't know what to tell you really. It all starts with YOU! And a Big change in ATTitude!!

Answer 7

I myself suffer from the same thing, My dad calls me fat ugly and tells me I'll never find a bf Or be good enough. Still I know is words are just words he really using for himself.

This is the way I see it. When someone is looking at you, Half the time its because there wondering who you are. When I guy does tell you that your hot, Half the time It's true However In some cases its just to earn cookie points to your bedroom. Instead of brushing them off just smile and reply with a thank you. Or flip your hair and be like, Yep and i'm just a nother hotty you won't get.

As for your sister, Like my father she say's those things because thats how she sees herself. When she looks in the mirror she sees those things and so she places them upon you. Knowing you'll asorb the negative remarks like a sponge. But what like to do is a mirror trick, Take the remark she said and send it right back. Bounce that ball back to her. Often leaving her stumped.

As for your not eating and throwing up, I'd get help for this Or talk to someone about it. Throwing up can lead to alot of problimes, Some so bad it can ruin your body for life.

Or worse death.

Now just take it one step at a time, Reminds yourself you are perfect the way you are. And if anyone gives you crap Ingore them.

When someone says something about you it's most likely there talking about them selfs.

End

-And peace.

Answer 8

You need to treat youself better!! You deserve better!! When you talk to yourself start saying positive things... all those negative thoughts that you keep saying to yourself are causing you to start believing them. If you are happy and confident with being yourself you will see that more people are attracted to you... You radiate a positive energy that will make you even more attractive. Everyone is not perfect and they dont have the same physical traits... I can understand what you saying becuase i get like that alot too... but i have good days too... Start doing things that make you feel good... Buy nice clothes, spoil yourself... anything to make yourself feel good about being you. Good luck :) Go back and read all the negative things taht you say in your question... U need to think posative things about yourself before you feel good about who you are.

Answer 9

-LIVE your life to the Fullest. If people think your Ugly! hey thats there prob.There missing out in a great person. You shouldnt worry what ppl think about you all the time. You have to look in the mirror and say I am Beautiful NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS. Everybody is going to be called ugly even if everyone thinks your the Most beautiful women in the world some may find you ugly!..You will find the one that truley cares about you.Remeber tho gods Creations are not UGLY!

Answer 10

i'm sorry you feel this way about yourself. i have self-esteem issues too, they used to be worse, but not so much anymore. why do you worry about what people think of you so much? do things for yourself that will make you like yourself, because until you like yourself, it's going to be hard to feel that other's like you. treat yourself to things that make you feel good. give yourself pep-talks, i know it sounds funny, but it does help. also, realize that you're not the only person who has self-esteem issues, and that everyone has things that they feel can be changed about themselves, just don't focus in on what you feel is "ugly" about you, focus in on what your strengths are and if you're not sure what they are, take a minute to think about it! also, if someone gives you a compliment, try to take it as a compliment, you're not only hurting someone else by not believeing what they say is true, but you're hurting yourself for not believing it as well!!

Answer 11

You are beauti-ful. Someone , somewhere will see that and
offer to start a family....look at Prince Charles and Camilla?

If that can happen for her or Anne Coulter, any recently breathing corpse can be a bride.

Keep hope alive. Laugh in the face of failure. Camilla, Anne and you can beat the odds.