I am 39, my Mom died 2 weeks before I turned 16, I am feeling it more now.?

Question

I have always missed her, but lately, more than ever. I don't understand why. I think about her all of the time and it has been YEARS since she has passed. Why is it hurting all of a sudden? My father is married to a WONDERFUL woman that I helped him meet, I LOVE her! She has been so good to me! But all of a sudden I want my Mom, I want to know her, but she's gone. Why did this not effect me before now?

Answer 1

One possible reason could be that you never truly dealt with the pain of her loss when you were 15. Even if you bawled your eyes out when she died that doesn't necessarily mean you allowed yourself to make peace with the loss. Another would be that as you've gotten older the memories seem farther and farther away and that you're fearful that you'll lose any memory of your mother at all who was I imagine somebody very significant to you by the way you decribed your pain. These are possible explainations but only you can look down deep inside and find what the reason is for yourself. If you do then contact me if you need help I would be glad to offer any further advice you might want.

Answer 2

I totally understand you. My mother died when I was 19 and I started to feel it really hard about two years ago when I was 27 and pregnant with my first child. I cried for her everyday, wondering why she had to leave me without a mother. I had a very hard time dealing with it and had to seek professional counseling because of it. If you don't want to go that route, talk to your father or other family members to try a find out things that you didn't know about her. It helped me alot, I went through old pictures and listened to old stories about her childhood from my aunts and uncles and my father. I also would go to the cemetary ( something I could never do before) and talk to her about what was going on in my life. Sometimes we can block things out that we choose not to deal with, but eventually you have to face them head on. I hope this helps you. It's been 10 yrs and some days are still harder than others.

Answer 3

You probably went back over your life and when you did, you went as far back as age 16. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing. My dad died 3+ years ago and I was 29. I miss him so and as a teenager i didn't call him "dad" since he was my step dad. I called him dad when I was 21. No no will ever replace your mother. I am glad to hear about how your step mother and you get along. That is a good thing. But there is nothing wrong with your grieving the loss of your mother now. You just miss her and want her back.

Answer 4

Do you have kids? A teen perhaps? do you look at your relationship and miss the one with your own mom? Sometimes events in our lives remind us of the ones we love and the loved ones we've lost. The birth of a child is a big one. It's okay to suddenly miss her more intensely. It has nothing to do with your feelings for your step-mother. It is completely normal you had your mom taken at a time when most girls need their mom the most. Ask your dad and other family members about her. Make a scrapbook from old photos write a journal of your memories of her. It will give you an outlet and a nice collection to remember her. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I think you have more time to think now and your mind is trying to find something that made you feel the most comfortable before this point in time. Even tho you love your step-mother that can't never replace your true love that you have for your mother. You need a good long cry and then think of all the good times you had with your deceased mother. If you don't like to cry try to write it on paper as in a poem or a letter that you will never mail or you can bring the letter to her grave site or throw it to the sea or wind and it will make you feel better. Or talk to your dad to find out more stuff about your mom it helps to talk. ~Mo

Answer 6

hi,,,
I know what you are feeling and it is something that everyone goes thru.. My father passed away when i was younger and my mom about 10 yrs later....i am grown now, but sometimes especially around Christmas or special times... I get that lonesome feeling wishing they were still here..
I just have to remind myself that they are in a much better place than me...
Hang in there, keep your chin up and keep on going.. Live the way they raised you and know that one day you will be together....

good luck

Answer 7

You are at an age when most women are mothers themselves. Subconsciously, you're still a child who wants a mother-- not be a mother yourself.
Count yourself lucky to be someone who had a mother at least until the age of sixteen. Some kids lose their mothers at a younger age and are oppressed by that thought throughout life.
You still have a father. And, you seem to be in good terms with him, too. Celebrate that!

Answer 8

it comes and goes at different times..I can't say for sure why it's happening alot now, it could be because of something else that's going on in your life, but you would have to be more specific...maybe this isn't the place for that...you should see a therapist if you are feeling depressed about it...but if you're just missing her alot and that's it then I suggest you just remember everything good about her....it's not necessarily a bad thing.......

Answer 9

You are just beginning to accept her death and realize she is not around any longer. You may need to see an therapist and talk this out with a professional. Not saying you are crazy or anything but sometimes it helps to talk this kind of thing out with someone who knows what you are going through. GOD BLESS.

Answer 10

It's because now you are an adolescent and going through life changes you feel the need to bond with her but realize she's not there all over again. My heart aches for you. Please find comfort in knowing you do have a nice Step Mother-some kids are not that lucky.