I want a tattoo but my husband says he'll divorce me ...?

Question

I'm 38 and we've been married for 10 years. We have a 3 year old daughter and she LOVES Tinkerbell. So I want to get a little Tinkerbell on my ankle with my daughter's name. Very little ... maybe an inch and a half. But he says he'll divorce me because he HATES tattoos. I know he wouldn't really do it ... but what would you do? Get the tattoo or not? And if you would, would you tell him before you went or after it was done?

I love my husband very much but I've always wanted a tattoo and ... you only live once, right?

Answer 1

If he hates tattoos then it's his right not to get one. As for you, do what you'd like. If he's really dumb enough to end a marriage over something trivial like a tattoo then that's his problem, not yours.

Answer 2

It's easier to beg forgiveness than it is to ask permission.

But seriously, I think he may have some other issues if he's threating you with divorce over a very small tattoo. I think the idea is really sweet. And, yes, you only live once. I'll throw in that it's your body as well. It's not like you want to get some other man's name, I could see a threat of divorce for that. It kinda sounds like he's got some controll issues. (Even if he wouldn't actually divorce you, the threat alone is a pretty nasty way of saying "do what I tell you")

On the more constructive side. Sit down and talk to him. Tell him that this is what you want to do, and you would like his support in it. Explain the reasons why you want the tat and exactly what you want done. Explain that this is very important to you, assure him that it's not going to lead to you getting a bodysuit and 1000 piercings. Show him that you've done your research and found a good, reputable artist (If you haven't done that already, maybe suggest that you guys could do it together so that he knows you're going somewhere that does good work and is safe) Ask him why he is so agianst you getting a tattoo. Don't let it turn into a fight, don't get upset with him, just have an open and honest discussion.

Personally, I would get the tattoo, after the discussion. I would hope that my husband would support me, but I would get it even if he didn't. In the end though, its up to you.

Answer 3

All of the statements here should be taken with a grain of salt, including mine. This is your life to live. However:

If I may be so bold, I think you may wish to examine your relationship with your husband. I do *not* mean consider a breakup, but the threat of divorce over a tattoo seems odd. Perhaps there is more information we're missing, but it's your body in the end and this is hardly a conspicuous thing. With care, no one but you, he and your daughter need know it exists - and it's hardly a "Mom" tattoo regardless.

Relationships exist as a compromise between two people to bring happiness, at least in theory, to both. If you don't feel strongly about this, then fine, but if you do... is he willing to make a sacrifice of something he dearly wishes (and you do not) as well? I would hope so, but that is something for you to determine.

I hope I'm reading too much into this, frankly, and that you are able to resolve this with no troubles. Best wishes to you, your husband & your daughter regardless.

Answer 4

Why does he hate them so much? If you fix that problem for him you can do what you want without the bad consequences. I think a tinkerbell tatoo would be kind of cute. If you can't get him to open up about why he hates them so much you are going to cause a lot of strife over something that is pretty trivial. Look for a place that does kids face painting and go get matching tinkerbells painted on and then take a couple of pictures of the 2 of you. You'll have the memories, the pictures, they come off easily, and you will start to desensitize him about tattoos.

Answer 5

Consider what's more important to you, your marriage or a spot of ink on your ankle. And while your intentions for getting the tattoo are very sweet and very noble, you never know what might happen later, and your daughter won't be a kid forever. She is still in the process of forming her own personality. Don't tie her down by getting the tattoo. I remember when I was little I loved LOVED LOVED the little mermaid but by the time I was 9, my personality was more or less fully formed and I was into science more than anything else, and- get this- I never watched the little mermaid again after I turned 6. If my mom got a little mermaid tattoo when I was 3, not only would she have regretted it, but it might stunt my own development of my personality because every time I saw the tattoo I know I would feel really guilty that I didn't like the little mermaid anymore and this might create a personality conflict. I suggest you think very lucidly and very hard about whether you want to jeopardize your marriage (which, by the way, has lasted quite a nice long period in this age of divorce) over something as trivial as a tattoo. Marriage is about compromise, think of his feelings as well. While it might seem superficial of him to judge you for something physical and even threaten to leave you, I understand his concerns. Finally, ask yourself whether or not you really want to be the only 60 year old with a tattoo of tinkerbell on her ankle a couple of decades from now.

Answer 6

I always hated tattoos. that is, until my 50th birthday....I decided to get some flowers on the back of my neck. Loved it! Now I have several. But I stay on my back. Just in case I don't want to upset my parents or parents of my kids, etc.
I would not touch my legs, or ankles. You'll regret that when you have to wear a skirt or a dress, it's very out of style.
Instead of upsetting your husband...why don't you try a fake tattoo of tinkerbell first? Google fake tattoos and see if you can purchase some online. Then place them in different spots on your body and see what he thinks. Tattoos are permanent so I suggest you try the fake ones first. Or get someone to paint one on you.

But, again, I have to say...I love my tattoos and I feel very sexy when I have an open back shirt on or a halter top. Men find them very sexy when they're done right and in good taste! Mine are very pretty!
Hope that helps! Good luck

Answer 7

You only live once! RIGHT!
I'm 20 an my hubby is against tattoos but my 21st is next month and I plan on getting a custom piece done, mine is gonna be sooooo upset but he'll get overit.
He can't divorce u over a tattoo and if he does he's a fool!

Answer 8

Be open and honest. Tell him before you get it that you really want one and that you are going to do it. It's your right as a person and he has to respect your individuality, plain and simple. Then show him the tat once it's done and leave it at that. And only do the ogling and touching of it when he's not in the house because that'll just bring the situation to the forefront, something you don't want to have happen. In time he'll just accept it as being part of you.

Answer 9

Well, I guess you weigh how much you want a tattoo over how angry he will be. Personally though, I don't think it is really his choice and to say that he'll be angry with you is irrational. So he doesn't like tattoos, some men don't like mini-skirts, it shouldn't be the end of a marriage (or even a joke about it.)
Have you discussed your feelings with him about his claim on your body? It is your body, isn't it? Does he tell you what to wear and how to do your hair and make-up?
Ask him how he would like it if you started dictating choices he makes, who to see, what to wear, how to live.
Maybe you think I am overeacting, but it comes down to his lack of respect concerning what is solely your choice. It doesn't hurt anyone and if it means something special between you and your daughter, who is he to stand in the way of that?

Answer 10

Is a tattoo really that important that u would risk a small little tatto for your marriage life ? Even if there is no divorce, if your husband is strongly against it, why do u deliberately wanted to sow discord when everything is ok for now ?? Unless your husband objects to anything that is good for the family as a whole, u should not even think about it just becos u love to have it and u only live once. What if your husband were to say he should be allow to take drugs and go for prostitute cos he only live once, he should have his own life. Both of you are married to each other, and should work towards the benefit of the family as a whole, not for an individual's liking that would cause things that would upset the other individual.