i wish i didn't like this girl... but I don't know what to do?

Question

I am a college freshman dude, and I have a crush on this girl in my English class. I have had a crush on her since the first week of this semester. She doesn't seem that into me. I always strike up a conversation, and she never does. She doesn't really make an eyecontact. I met her at a techno party today. I wanted to dance with her, but she danced with this one guy the whole time. I am a very jealous person, and I admit I felt like beating the **** out of that guy. I feel so sh*tty right now. I never felt attracted to a girl this strong, and it's hard to get her out of my head. I've tried, but it's just not working. She and I seem to have different values. I am trying to be liberal and relaxed, but I've been raised by conservative parents. The girl seems like a hippy girl. She hangs out with hippy guys. I don't know why, but I am always attracted to girls who are very different. Even if I do get to date her, I will probably have problems because of the differences.

However, the feeling is just way too strong. I don’t know what to do with this obsession. I just don’t find other girls as attractive as my current crush. Man I wish I didn’t like the girl at all… I think she’s missing out a good guy, who works his a$$ off, has a pretty ripped body (I think my body is decent, 5’11.5, 180 pounds, 8% body fat), and treats girls of his interest with respect and kindness. At the same time, though, I feel like I am missing out a girl who I really want. We may not be meant to be together, but I am so hurt. If you have similar experiences, please let me know what I should do.

Answer 1

At best this is crush and most crushes are short termed.

You seem to be setting yourself up for relationships doomed to failure. You are already emotionally attached where you should be learning to build attachments.

Long term relationships are built upon open and honest communication. You need to learn how to express your thoughts and feelings while learning to listen to others.

Being attracted to girls who are very different is not the problem, but it does make it harder to communicate with them. You need to learn this first.

In the meantime, either learn to communicate with this girl or suffer through the crush.