Sister Problem.?

Question

I have a 14 year old sister that thinks she knows everything. Every Friday she goes to the Mall with her friends and comes back late at night. Sometimes my mom yells at her and sometimes she doesn't care. My sister is also addicted to Myspace. School Nights she uses it until 12:00am and weekends she could use it until 6:00am. When I tell her to get off she just ignores me. My mom punishes her sometimes but she doesn't listen. She cares more about her friends than her own family. We constantly fight and sometimes I don't know why. I try to talk to her but she doesn't listen. And when she gets me angry I yell. Sometimes I feel like I'm A bad brother. I feel that if she died today I wouldn't care. I also feel that if things get worst then later in the future we may never talk to each other again. What should I do before things get out of hand?

Answer 1

Sometimes people need to hit rock bottom in order for them to understand. I know its hard because it is your sister and you want to protect her, but let her *** hit rock bottom so she can get a wake up call. As for her disrespecting mom, mom gotta step up to the plate. Yelling these days don't work for teenagers. You have to literally put your foot in their *** to get them to see your point. Your mom need to let her know whose house it is and if your sister can't get with it...hell show her the door and see how she make it on her own.

Answer 2

By all means get that feeling of if she died today you wouldn't care out of your mind cause you would.I don't no which of you is the oldest but from my point of view i think one day you should try to chat with her about things, let her no that you don't want it to be the way it is and if you two can come up with a plain as of the computer. Its seems that she don't respect your mother either that's something you might want to talk to her about too. I no sisters can be a pain at times and sometimes it gets to be bothersome too.But you are not a bad brother you just got a sister that maybe going through the early teens syndrome. She might have some issues that yall don't no about going on with herself and feels that taking it out on you and the family is the only way that's why yall need to sit down and have a heart to heart, and never stop loving your sister or being a brother to her.

Answer 3

Approach her in the most non-confrontational way possible and let her know you would like to talk to her without being judgmental. 14 is a very hard age to deal with an she is probably going through a phase right now. As long as she is not taking drugs or sleeping around, I really think you shouldn't be too worried about her MySpace problem, believe me, that is hardly a big issue at all! Siblings are some of the best friend you will ever have, don't let something silly like this ruin it between you two, take if from someone who has three! Most importantly, be there for her as a supporter. Teenagers need that because most of the time they feel like they aren't getting support from their families, this is a critical time for them. Talk with her and voice your concerns; be there for her! Tell her you love her!

Answer 4

Hey, she's 14, she wouldn't be normal if she didn't go through this phase. I come from a family of 7, where I'm the only girl. I went through it with my older brother. Most teenagers only care about thier friends at this age, they don't listen to parents and they argue with thier siblings. This will pass. Trust me my brothers did the same thing and now when we et together, you can't keep us apart. You're going to have to step back and let her see what she's doing. As long as she not into drugs, sex or any other illegal or immoral things, I wouldn't wish her off the face of the earth. I hope you don't mean that if she died you wouldn't care, because that's a really terrible thing to say about a child.

Answer 5

Congrats to you for realizing that something isn't kosher with your sister. Unfortunately she is at that age now where she is selfish and can be very hateful - in other words she is a teenager. The only real advice I can give you in this situation is try and get her to understand that you are there for her and that she can come to you any time with anything and try not be judgemental. Don't push her away just realise she is going through a phase where her friends seem more important than anything else but as she gets older the balance in her life will return. Keep watching out for her though .... you sound like a very mature and caring older brother

Answer 6

Although I'm 2 years older of your sister, and I also have a brother - I am just like your sister.

Although I'm not addicted to Myspace, I use my Internet until midnight or past midnight.

My parents get mad at me, and I yell at my Brother.

I guess my Brother and I really don't agree. But there's one thing that my Brother doesn't know - he's still my brother and I still think of my family as the best treasure I have.

It's just that I'm a teenager and this is what I enjoy doing. However, it doesn't necessarily mean that I disregard my family and like my friends better. It's a different kind of leisure.

But believe me, your sister still loves you and your family. Let her be, she'll change. It's just her time to be like that, we all have such.

Answer 7

You are not your sisters parent. It is your parents job to be concerned about most of this stuff. Trying to be your sisters parent rather than her brother can ruin your relationship for ever, so my advice is, firstly step back.

Now you have stepped back, look at the things that your sister is doing. Is it going to hurt her badly? Is it dangerous? If the answer to this is yes, then as a good protective brother it is your job to protect her. If she won't listen find a way to get through to her. I am not overly familiar with myspace, but can you hide your identity. Perhaps you can go on there, and become a friend to her, and give her advice through that friend. If you are an older brother, (but not too much older), befriend her friends. Give yourself the cool boy image.

Teenagers are always going to push the limits. Ultimately it is up to you to find the lines.

Answer 8

U r really a good and caring brother.In my opinion u should always keep a watch on her or u must follow her and her activities.If it is not possible for u then send her to some boarding school where she has to follow the strict rules and regulations and she will also be away from her "bad" friends.
Hope this will work,but donot give up.Always try your level best to make understand about the aftermaths.I think your mother must make her aware of the consequences often happens in this age.
All the Best.

Answer 9

Your sister is no more a baby nor an adult, she is a teenager, and normally teenagers behave like that. They are leaving their childhood and becoming adult, they are growing both physically and mentally. You should try to listen to her, try to be her friend, and see in what way you can bring her back, try to know the reason behind her behaviour, don't worry it will take some times for her to understand. You should never make the mistake of not talking to her, try to care for her and always be calm with her, if you feel angry then avoid talking to her, else you'll lose her.
Try your best and you will see that you will be able to control the situation.
All the best...

Answer 10

You are not a bad brother. I can tell you care about her and you are just feeling the heat of the moment.

She is your average teenage girl and she still has plenty of things to learn, obviously. The best way for her right now is to let her learn by herself since she insists to do so. But as a brother, you should be there for her when she hits the tough road in life and you should always be a good role model for her. She might never see it until later but she will appreciate it when both of you have been through a lot together.

Also, always be aware of what she is up to. Never let her go down the bad road. What I mean by this is that do not let her take up drugs or alcohol. Try not to control her but instead, advice her and ask her to think about what you are suggesting. She sounds like she is enjoying her teenage life and there is nothing wrong with that as long as her priorities are in order and if she is in good control of her own life.

Talk to your mother and try to make a deal between both of you on teaching your sister values and the rules of life. There should be consequences for every rule she breaks and she should never get away with it. Talk to your mother and tell her she needs to set the rules and that no one should get away with anything, including yourself. Tell your mother that it will take lots of patience, maturity, and consistency on both your parts to make it work. It's going to be a rough road for all but that is what family is for. Trust me, if she does not know how to live by the rule, she will have a hard time achieving anything after high school. Let reality hit her now rather than later when it's too late.

Talk to your sister and tell her that you may not seem like you care for her but tell her that you do and you are concerned for her well being. You want to be a part of her life and that you want her to be a part of yours. Tell her you do not have to be buddies and all you really want is to get along. That is the simple beauty of being family. All of you are in it together and you might as well get along. Explain to her that it will take both of you to make your relationship with each other work and tell her what you are willing to do to compromise.

Also, try and watch her myspace for anything or anyone that can be dangerous. There's too many whack jobs out there and young girls are too innocent and naive these days.

Answer 11

Talk to your Mother about this-you are her brother-not her parent. This is your parents responsibility and you can help by letting your parents know the dangers of sites like myspace. You sound very caring but this is obviously impacting your relationship with your sister negatively as you rightfully realize this is counter-productive behaviour.