I have met a great man who ive been seeing for a month,my contraception failed to save me from getting pregnant and he has told me if i keep the child he will walk away and never see me again.I think he's playing on my feelings for him. He has a daughter to another woman and i have 4 children as well. I dont agree with abortion unless there are special circumstances and its not this childs fault and didnt ask to be born.
The worst part is that he has taken a job interstate and leaves in 2 weeks anyway regardless of any choices i make.should i take a stand and tell him im keeping his child?
2007-03-16 19:45:36 · 24 answers · asked by bubbleee03 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
If you want the child, keep the child. If you dont' want the child then give it up for adoption. It's YOUR choice- not his.
What an a$$ tell you to terminate or else.... what kind of jerk makes such an ultimatum?! One thats not worth it... that's who!
Good Luck hon!
2007-03-16 19:53:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, my first piece of advice is to dump him. It is terrible to emotionally blackmail your girlfriend into doing something against her will and conscience, and since he is leaving anyway, toss the conniving little prick out the door. A good boyfriend would never stoop to such cheap, underhanded tricks.
After your boyfriend has been properly shitcanned, my second piece of advice is to do what you think is right. If having an abortion is against your conscience, but you cannot care for another child, might I offer an alternative? Carry the child to term and give birth. After the child is born, put it up for adoption, and ensure that the child winds up in a home with parents who will love and care for the child. You will have satisfied your moral obligation, so you're happy. Your boyfriend won't have to deal with a child he obviously doesn't care about and he can go his merry way: he's happy. And the child will be raised by loving parents and have a cheerful, happy childhood: the baby's happy. Plus, you've given a lucky couple the most wonderful gift that could possibly be bestowed upon a human being: a family.
All of this is my own humble opinion. You must do what you feel is right, of course.
2007-03-16 20:28:36 · answer #2 · answered by Moon Crystal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have only known this guy for a month, and you say he is a "great man"...............What kind of "great man" deserts a girl who is pregnant with his child?
You do have options.....you can either add to your already large family (must be hard as a single parent wih 4 kids.............and, will be 5, because I guarantee he won't be around)..........or, since you do not believe in abortion, you can always put your child up for adoption.
The bottom line is that you need to stop thinking about the chance that this guy will be around, he won't, and start thinking for yourself. Next time, maybe you should think about having sex with someone so soon. I mean, how much can you learn about someone in one month? Obviously what you thought about this loser was wrong. It's too bad he is such a jerk and not mature enough to handle this other than threatening to leave you if you don't have an abortion. What kind of person does that!?!
2007-03-17 01:18:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it depends on if you want to keep the child yourself, because as you already have 4 children, I don't think you want to have a 5th.But if you decide to keep the child, then he can try to walk away and never see you again, but this is his child, and so you can make him pay maintenance for this child. He is being quite irresponsible for his actions in you getting pregnant, and he deciding to walk away. If he has taken a job interstate and is going to leave anyway, then its your decision on what to do with the child. But if he wants you to abort your child and you don't particularly agree with it, talk to him about adoption and get his opinions on that, something which you could possibly consider yourself. I don't really agree with abortion myself, and there are a lot of people out there that desperately want a child, but can't have any, so their last resort is adoption. Its a bit like giving someone a new organ or something, its the greatest gift that anybody could give is a baby to someone who so desperately wants a baby. Good luck...
2007-03-16 20:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by generations26 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you want to keep the child, its your choice. He legally can't abandon you if it is his child. If your more worried about keeping him around and your trying to find a reason to do that without getting rid of the baby, I would say find a new man. He isn't as "great" as you say if he can't partake in the consequences that he is equally at fault for. I think you are more worried about keeping this man in your life, other wise you would know your choice by now. Its gotta be tough, but he isn't worth it, and he obviously isn't a real man. Otherwise he would stick by you. A month is mot long enough to know someone AT ALL. Men don't play on feelings. They say what they mean, especially in times like this. What else could he mean? Even if he was "playin on your feelings", as you said, Why would you want to be with someone who would do taht anyway? A month is a short time, and You will be over him in no time, but if you do decide to keep this baby, you will forever be tied to this monster.
2007-03-16 20:10:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should do what you think is right. He has obviously decided the child is not important to him, plus he's leaving anyway, so his threat of walking away isn't so scary - he's doing that anyhow!
Can you and will you give this child all the love in the world? Don't blame the child in the future if you can't find another man as good as the one you think you have now.
1 month is not enough time to fully judge a personality, I think he may be showing his true colours.
2007-03-16 20:00:10 · answer #6 · answered by loubylou 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's not a great man, he's a selfish jerk and you know it. Pick your men better or better yet, leave well enough alone until all FIVE of your children are out of the house. I would think you'd have your hands full raising the lot and not much time to devote to dating and finding a DECENT MAN, which is apparently the case. He's not playing on your feelings, he's being what he is, a total jerk, only in it for himself. Tell him you'll see him in child support court, or give the baby up for adoption.
2007-03-17 00:34:51 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not believe in abortion, then do not do it. Do not do something you will end up regretting. If you've only known him for one month, who is to say he would stick around even if you didn't have a child. The love of a child is forever, as for a boyfriend/husband, etc. Those things may change. You can always go after him legally if it is a money issue. Or, you can always give the child up to adoption. Do not comprimise your ethics because of this guy.
2007-03-16 20:42:40 · answer #8 · answered by Melanie P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is ur child as well and if u dont want to terminate this pregnancy then dont!! if he walks away then that what he does and im sorry but he wouldnt be a man in that situation, but it sounds to me that u dont want to get rid of this baby, so dont and tell him no he cant make you, you are the one that is carriing this baby so this is ur choice, and personally i wouldnt terminate it either, so do what u think is right and if he leaves do the respectable thing and call him and tell him when the baby is born, if he sees this child he has created it may just change his mind, but dont do anything that u are being pressured to do, do what u believe is right
2007-03-16 19:56:07 · answer #9 · answered by keely h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are with him just from a month, and as you told you are already having 4 children so on other side if you think he leaves you then u r the only one left to care your 5 children so you dont need this child but your feelings as a mother you can't abort your child,,,, i cant comment on it but i would like to say leave that man who dont respect your feelings...
else about aborting the child is your very own decision...
god bless you
and don't worry
2007-03-16 19:51:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋