I need to make an important decision! I will be having a baby in 3 weeks.My mother wants to be in the delivery room.Being her only daughter and my first child I can see where that would be very important to her.My boyfriend on the other hand absolutely doesn't want her in there because he says it's a time where we as a family should bond alone.I understand both of their point of views and either way I'm fine but I need to make a decision without hurting anyone's feelings..What do I do?
2007-03-16 19:16:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I personally would choose my Husbands opinion over everybody else!
But my family all already knows that so they wouldn't even ask to be there!
It's totally up to the two of you, and not your Baby's grandparents!!! Best of Luck!
2007-03-17 10:26:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am kind of going through this myself right now. I have chosen to allow my mother and my fiance to be in the room with me, but his mom wants to be there and keeps trying to make me feel guilty about not wanting her there(long story). I chose to have my mom there because she has a lot of experience in birth and she makes me comfortable and she's going to be my labor coach. Of course, I also lucked out because the hospital only allows two people in the delivery room without prior consent from your doctor. We(fiance and I) both sat down and talked to my mom about our expectations in the delivery room and that we would really like her to leave the room once the baby is born so that we can spend the "golden hour" with our new son alone. She completely understood and said that would give her a chance to take our camera out into the waiting room to show his mom and the rest of our family pictures of the baby. Talk to both of them and explain your feelings. I wanted a woman to be there with me and there is nothing like having your mom there for you(if you have a close relationship with your mom, that is). Maybe you can come to a compromise that allows both of them to be there during the delivery and then just you and your boyfriend to bond alone with your new child. Good luck!!!
2007-03-16 19:36:50 · answer #2 · answered by a1dermommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say the person experiencing the joys of labor and childbirth gets to make all the decisions here. Whoever you want with you to help your stress levels gets to be there. Your boyfriend needs to learn now that what he wants isn't everything. You do whatever you wish for delivery, and hopefully he'll be understanding.
2007-03-16 19:40:29 · answer #3 · answered by Cracea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really does need to be a decision that you two make together. If you feel that you really want her there, make this known to him and your reason's why. If he can't agree, try to compromise. . . let her be there for almost all of the labor but leave at the very end. Just try and get it decided before the actual labor. You need to be focusing on what is going on with your body, not what is going on in the rest of the room.
2007-03-16 19:26:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want her there, do what I did... told my mother-in-law that the hospital only allows one person due to space-issues. if you do want her, tell your boyfriend that you want her in there, but that she can sit off to the side. This could come in handy if your labor is long and your boyfriend gets tired. he can take a break with the coaching and let your mother help. Also will help if he passes out, cause then your mom will still be in there. Personally, I did not want any one else in th room but my husband, so i told my mother in law that little lie. You are going to be stressed out enough, don't need people getting upset with you to make it worse.
2007-03-16 19:29:45 · answer #5 · answered by lilly j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have only people you feel comfortable with. this includes boyfriends, husbands, mothers, doctors. student drs and midwives.
If you feel watched, judged,scared etc this increases adrenaline, which makes labour slower and more painful!
So tell them what you want, reserve the right to kick out anyone you wish at any time, and don't feel guilty. It may be the difference between an empowering labour or a horror one.
I wish you all the best
2007-03-16 21:07:42 · answer #6 · answered by kell 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had my sons father in the room. Halfway thru the contactions i ended up kicking him out. When your legs are spread apart and ur in labor you won't care who is or isn't in there.
He came back in 10 minutes after i kicked him out.
I think it is a personal decision for you, as you are the mother of this child and you want to be as comfotable with whom you want in there.
2007-03-16 20:01:02 · answer #7 · answered by Dimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my first being pregnant all began as an induction and it replaced right into a circus/ ... a sturdy circus, inspite of the actuality that. there replaced into my mom, my grandmother, my cousin ( i respect her, she has 5 young ones of her own) my aunt, my husband, and my mom-n-regulation. now, i come from a huge relatives of frequently women human beings, we've a lot of children and we are no longer too uptight/inner most, so, every time a clean infant is born in our relatives, there is oftentimes a lot of human beings contemporary. i recommend, they ordered pizza, presented me wine after the newborn replaced into born, or maybe snuck me burgers! we had a blast. they kept the ambience gentle at the same time as i worked, they kept me giggling at the same time as my contractions peaked, and at the same time as it were given all the way down to 'that' time, there replaced into in undemanding words my husband and that i and our mom's. i finished up having a c-section, so it diminished even more beneficial to in undemanding words my husband and that i, at the same time as our moms waited in my restore room until eventually eventually after the newborn replaced into born. stupid, huh! i had no problem with having my relatives and his mom in the room reason we are basically that close. ofcourse, you want that 'new relatives bond time' journey, and also you and your husband may have 'the adventure' considering that no individual ever truly spends the evening with a clean couple and a screaming newborn! they are going to all leave quickly enuf! ;-) s@ playstation you obviously experience that you don't need more beneficial human beings in the room searching at your va-j-j, yet have self assurance me, what you don't need is for it to in undemanding words be your husband and he would not know what to do to make you experience more beneficial useful, or he passes out, won't be able to look, get's squeamish, or basically does't practice enuf empathy for what your going via. have self assurance me, no individual can assist you via exertions and shipping like yet another women human beings.... so atleast have your mom or his mom, or your best gf. basically recommend.
2016-12-02 03:11:59 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boyfriend?.....I'll assume you aren't married. If you feel comfortable to marry the father, then marry him before the delivery, if he doesn't want to marry then your mom has every right to insist to be with you. If you are married then he has every right to ask her to wait outside. Most important make sure the nurses and doctors are at the delivery.
2007-03-16 19:31:45 · answer #9 · answered by J.W. 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you are the mom in labour...if you want your to mom to be there, and having her there will make you more relaxed, you do that...if your boyfriend doesn't understand that, it isn't fair to you...
Good Luck, and I hope you have a wonderful birth experience!
2007-03-16 19:26:43 · answer #10 · answered by jgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋