If females want "nice guys", then why is it they choose and end up with the jerks....?

Question

losers, users and abusers more than anything and then complain about all the bad things he is doing like cheating, and all the drama and then STILL want to go back to that kind of guy over and over? Are you just stupid, lost your self respect, self esteem or what? A good friend and I (living in different cities)have been discussing this and we are honest, kind caring, good sense of humor and not bad looking and all that women seem to say they want in a man yet we both have only had one real gf (him a wife,now divorced) in our entire 30-40 years...when we do meet someone they almost litterally run away no matter if we act like the uncaring jerk or the nice respectable guy. We dress differently from suits to jeans and T-shirts, but this seems to make no difference at all also...
Even fat ugly guys we know are getting girls/women and married, etc
This is really a strange phenomenom dont you all think? we appreciate any input..thanks

Answer 1

I'm a female and I wonder that myself. Like why do women fall for jerks all the time? And why are mostly the hot guys jerks? But I like nice guys with a good personality so whatever.

Answer 2

This question is a lot simpler than most people make it out to be. You know how people say that guys think with their crotch? Well, guess what? So do women. Some may not want to admit it, but you can't escape biology. At least it's true for most people, anyway.

Women say they want a nice guy with all the qualities mentioned above, but what they are physically attracted to, and I don't mean visually, is a "bad boy". The element of danger and excitement is enough for many women to cream their jeans on the spot. Their qualities list goes out the window the second one of these guys is around them. It's sad, but true.

The good news is that there are just as many nice girls out there that like nice guys as there are nice guys looking for nice girls. Not everyone is a slave to their loins.

Good luck to you all and God bless.

Answer 3

I think its because alot of females don't want "nice guys." I admit I've had my heart severly broken twice now and each time it was a bad boy. I'm not attracted to the money like someone said but I'm sure some women are. I guess I view bad boys as having an edge about them. It's a confidence they emit that attracts me. I like feeling a thrill when I'm with someone and alot of bad boys have hobbies that are exciting. Looks aren't really indicative of a bad boy type either. Some of the baddest boys I know are the intelligent geek types who have loads of sex appeal and confidence. I wouldn't worry about it too much though. Just be yourself and the right woman will come along. It's funny, because I always think that guys are able to attract any woman at all. I didn't know you all felt that way.

Answer 4

Buddy I have asked myself this question after being cheated on in my last relationship.

My only explanation would be that Women don't want to find the nice guy, they want to find the "bad boy" and mold him into the "nice guy". Also I believe there is a misconception that "nice guys" are too nice or wimps. This is incorrect too.

I figure that I am a nice guy, although I don't proclaim it all the time because "tooting your own horn" is not really a characteristic of a nice guy, but I will probably have to wait forever to get a girl that is right for me because any one that I may have an interest in will fall for a guy who will treat her unfairly or be a total jerk.

Answer 5

I feel the same way about guys, sir.

I've wondered if the reason is that the nice guys never have the guts to approach a girl... And if they do, they don't show the girl well enough that they like them.
We're just as daft as you are at being about to tell when a person is interested. And males are pretty darn dumb.

When I find the nice guy that I'm waiting for... he'll be my first boyfriend... As of yet, I've met a few in my 21 years, but none of them seem to want me and they know that I'm one of the nice girls.

I don't know. Maybe it's misdirection on both of the sexes parts... Misunderstanding, misguidance... Mis-something. :)

If you find out what it is, maybe you can tell me about it. Cuz I want to know what I'm doing wrong.

Answer 6

when a person break up with you or you break up with them (whatever) you tend to look for the same quailites in a different person. its the whole scared of change thing you know. and from a womens point of view nice guys are hard to find some times. so hold on to that. and women tend to be stupid and get scared of that because what if its a mask what if the nice guy is a set up. women think too much or to little. and the thing about not wanting to be hurt and feel the pain so you hold on to something that at lest you know you know. such as the bad guy.

Answer 7

You are bit confused

You are assuming what chicks SAY (and may actually believe they want) is actually what they ACTUALLY want -when in fact what they want is completely out of their control

Chicks don't actually "select" a guy in a volitional sense the way for example they pick out a new dress at the store,, they follow the CHEMISTRY - which is their crack-cocaine equivalent

Controlling, deceptive, and nonmonogamous (cheating) behavior were 3 key genetic survival skills in males for the first 3 to 5 million year of evolution - and (in turn) create typical females desire to mate with those males increasing their (the female's) genetic survival odds going forward -which happens to be these seed spreading males - all of this of course operating at the subconcious level

Think of a lottery, but this one involving genetic immortality - the female will generally (via her genes) "select" the male increasing her odds of winning

Noncontrolling, honest, monogamous "nice guys" are deemed (correctly at least in evolutionary genetic survival terms) - as very poor bets to mate with for most females - thus decreasing the females ultimate odds of genetic survival

99% of females don't understand what causes them to select certain men over others, so asking them is a waste of time. Most chicks actually believe they make rational decisions when in fact the only rationalilty to the process flows not from modern constructs - but from the deep dark logic of evolution and survival which is somewhat counter-intuitive compared to today's way of thinking

DNA and "chemistry" runs the show for most chicks and no amount of wishful thinking allows them to simply drop all this evolutionary baggage

Answer 8

The jerks or bad boys become a project to some women. "I can change him" they say. It rarely works.

Sadly, when we (nice guys) meet a nice woman, she usually has so much emotional baggage from these 'bad boy' relationships that we can't even deal with it in our understanding, nice guy, way...the damage is done.

Answer 9

Because "nice guys" who are "friends" with women are fakes: they THINK they are nice guys but we women who actually DO like nice guys know that they are constantly judging every woman they meet and think they are so great they are only entitled to the "hawt chick"

You aren't upset that women like jerks, you're upset because you think you are better than the guys the "hawt chicks" choose to be with. Well, obviously you aren't better than them.

If you were such a nice guy you'd stop getting peeved that you aren't getting what you want. Because what you want is a woman who probably deserves better than some guy who is a secret jerk who pretends to be nice but really thinks he is superior to all the other jerks.

Answer 10

let me tell you something I am 51` and a female I was married to the nice guy for 20 yrs and left him. He was boring, I know from experience women like men that are bad, we don't like to admit it but we do.. I am now married to a retired military guy a paratrooper how went to prison for 3 yrs he believes in his rights and will stand up for them. He don't listen to a thing I tell him, he drinks, but he loves me and don't run with other ladies he is true blue, but he is no pussy he has had his nose broke 5 times and he is exciting. You never know what we are going to do go camping, fishing, float the river. target shooting. not dull.