Is it possible my exboyfrind/father of my unborn child come back to me?

Question

So I got pregnant, the parents of my ex-boyfirend wanted me to get an abortion.

I refused to get one, now they are all hate and refuse to talk to me because I've ruined his college life.

In the past my exboyfirend/father of my new unborn baby has been very loving, sopportive, and sweet towards me.

It is very unlike his nature for him to behave in such a crule & unsesative way by ingnoring me for not geting an abortion.

In the begining we discussed adoption together and he was in agreement with it so long as his paretns didn't find out.

His step mother found out and told everyone in his family. Thats when the **** hit the fan!

I didn't know what to do and thats when the subject of "it's abortion or I wouldn't ever be able to talk to Him agian"

Because he used to remind me 20 times a day that he loved and he used to help me with my every need.

Do you think it's possible it could just be his parents? Do you think he'll turn around and come back?

Answer 1

I am so sorry to hear about your situation honey. I praise you for not getting an abortion under such stressful circumstances. It is probably his family that is keeping him out of your life. You need to remind them that you didn't get your self pregnant and that is is NOT you that is ruining his life. You both made the mutual decision to have sex and that is a conscience that you both have to live with. You need to make them understand that they would not be the ones to have to live with the decision of having an abortion and killing your unborn baby or giving the child up for adoption and not knowing what kind of life your own flesh and blood would have. Just be strong, I know it is very difficult when you feel all alone but so many women have and you can too. He will probably come back and even if he doesn't you will find someone to love and cherish you and your baby. Best of luck to you and your little pride and joy.

Answer 2

I am so sorry that you have to go through this, I was in this very position and I actually broke down and had the abortion and it was the worst mistake of my life, which ruined my relationship. First let me say he may be scared and come back, but it sounds like his parents are manipulative and controlling and do you want them in your life as potential in-laws, especially if he is not strong enough to stand up to them.

Your college hopes are not gone and neither are his, in the last 4 years i have finished a B.A., M.Ed, and M.S and have had 3 kids. This may make you both more focused and motivated, but resoursfulness and a positive attitude is a must. What ever he does GET YOUR EDUCATION and dont rely on him!

Regardless of if he comes back or not you are connected to him to try to build a positive relationship, but if that is not an option you can do bad by your damn self! Work on yourself, if he does turn around and come back you can then reevaluate whether this is the man that you want in your life in a relationship capacity, because you are worthy of a strong, man who respects you, your child and will place you both at the head of his life, especially while you are pregnant. Likewise your child deserves the best from you. So DON'T STRESS and just do you and everything will turn out as it should, and hell you might not evern want him back after this.

My prayers are with you and I will pray that you have a healthy baby and regardless of his status and choices find the strength, calm, piece and comfort to value yourself and a loving and nurturing parent.

Answer 3

I am so sorry to hear that you have to go through this...First of all forget about his parents and what they say...if the truth be told HE "ruined" his college career...it take 2 people to make a baby...and because apparently they didnt teach him about safe sex they get some of the blame as well....

Having a baby does not ruin a college career....it may legthen it and make it harder, but a baby does not ruin it....I just had a baby, and I am still going to school....I take a lot of on line course so that I can be home more...where there is a will there is a way!

As for your relationdhip with your bouyfriend, honey that is probably over....as I am sure that you know...you cant really go by what person says, but by how they act and treat you...and it doesnt matter how he used to treat you...all that matters is how he treats you now...you are carrying his child. That is HUGE!!! and he decides to ignore you....RIght now it is very important that you are around people that love you and want only whats best for you,

Do I think that his parents are behind his thinking?....yes,
Does it matter?...no, he should be man enough by now to stand up to them in sake of his baby.

I mean his mommy still tells him who he can talk to and who he cant talk to....

I know that you think that you love him, but do you really want a little boy to help you with this, or a man?

ANd one more thing, any "man" that would leave you at a time like this isn't worth anything.

Answer 4

Well, I hate to sound insensitive but why would you want him to return to you if this is the way he treats you while you are carrying his child? I know, you love him and need him now but he is not behaving like a mature loving man. Yes, he is young and so his family can put alot of pressure on him so it is possible they are controlling him. Still, in time maybe he will come to his senses and back you up, as he should. Meanwhile, remember that you are doing the MORAL thing, the right thing. You don't kill a baby just so that life is easier down the road. That family could help out and he could still go to college and be a father too. If he doesn't, then he is weak both mentally n morally and one day you will be glad you were so strong. Remember that stress is not good for the baby. Think of the positive things in your life. best of luck!

Answer 5

Holding on to a baby just to keep or get your exboyfriend back is a trap for disaster. Nothing good will come out of it except your child. It seems as though you may have to take care of your child on your own if you're not looking towards adoption. In a situation like this, you should be able to have the support from your family. If you do decide to keep your child, look into filing for child support just in case. And when or if you do, don't exploit your business to everyone. Just go to the courts and file. Especially if he starts to treat you grimy. But whatever you do, don't use your child as a weapon or a pawn. Years from now when you are a little older and mature, you will think about the things you have done and you will be embarrass within yourself, and regret you ever did it. If you lean towards adoption, make sure that's your final decision. As far as your ex is concerned, he may come back then he might not. It all depends on what his family is chatting in is ears and his conscience. Good Luck.

Answer 6

To me, it sounds like he might just be doing what his parents want at this point. But what he needs to understand is that he's an adult (I'm assuming since you said he was in college) and he should start behaving like one. He is responsible for this child's existance and needs to realise that. I am sure that once things get further along in your pregnancy and closer to the due date he'll start to pull his head out of his (or by the sound of it, his parents) @$$. What I think that you should do is get a hold of him and tell him that you and him need to have a talk, somewhere that won't make him nervous...coffee shop maybe. You two need to discuss the future of the child that you two are creating. Because it's rather childish to sit there and let mommy and daddy rule your life when you should be focused on being a father to your child. I think that once he understands that his parents don't control everything, then if really does love you as much as he used to claim that he does, he'll come back to you and your baby. I hope that everything works out for you in the end. Congradulations on the new baby. Good luck.

Answer 7

I think the first thing you need to do is get a lawyer and make sure your baby is financially taken care of by its father.

I wouldn't count on him coming back to you. He sounds pretty weak if he's willing to let his parents live his life for him. I won't even get into what his family sounds like. You don't force/blackmail ("it's abortion or I wouldn't ever be able to talk to Him agian") someone into getting an abortion. It's vile.

AFTER you've gone to a lawyer and found out what you need to do to get child support from the baby's father, I'd print all these answers out and send them to both the father and his parents. Maybe seeing themselves in writing will make them see how poorly they come across.

It's possible they will eventually want to be part of the child's life, especially the father. It might take months, it might take years. At that point, they aren't going to enjoy remembering how they treated you now.

I wish you the best. You sound like a strong young woman to have stood your ground and done what you have felt was right. I think that strength will carry you through this.

Answer 8

A guy can tell you he loves you until he is blue in the face, but the minute you get pregnent all bets are off and EVERTHING changes.

If it IS his parents and he is in college then he is just a sissy and needs to grow up.

You never know, he may come around some day for the baby but i am not sure I would be holding my breath on him coming back to you.

Do you even want him if he is acting this way right now.??

Tell his parents and any one that is trying to make you do something you do not want to do to CRAM it and leave you alone.

You will be just fine with out any of them.

Answer 9

Sounds like a case of the parent trying to run his life. You need to talk to him one on one, because if he wasn't this way until his parents found out, then he must feel like he is stuck in between the you and them. It is ultimately you and his decision on what happens with this baby and you two need to decide and that is that.

Answer 10

it doesn't look promising for him coming back to you. Take solace in the fact that you did what was right for you, and didn't let yourself be pressured and threatened into something else.

And don't forget to get child support.