i am a house wife. i live with my husband ,son , and daughter in law. she has some problem with me. though she is a nice girl. but what makes her behave with me sometimes rudely. i dont know. now after one year , i have come to know that she always wanted to live with my son separately. so now i want to tell my son to live with her in another place. i want to do this in a graceful manner. please help.
2007-03-16 18:13:29 · 15 answers · asked by kumkum s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
From what I understand of your question, your son is probably unaware of the underlying rift between yourself and your daughter-in-law (d-i-l). And you are overly decent. If d-i-l is rude to you for no apparent reason other than her wish to stay separately with your son, you shouldn't take her rudeness lying down. You are equal to her mother in her new home and should reprimand her if necessary. You also need to be sure whether your son is also genuinely interested in moving out with his wife, before obliging your d-i-l's selfish whims. A son is obliged to care for his aged parents too. Besides, there is no apparent problem for your son or d-i-l in the household and hence no reason exists for them to move out.
If however, you are convinced that it is best for all of you if your son and d-i-l stays separately, then you should bring up the subject carefully. If your son hasn't thought about moving out himself, raising the topic abruptly could hurt his sensitivity. You can tell him about the difficulties he and his family would face in living with you after he became a father of kid(s). Space crunch could be one of them. Besides he could invite friends and party with them late into the night in his own home. Doing the same here would result in disturbing the peaceful and sedate life of an elderly couple. Try these and see if he is convinced. That's as decent as you can get.
2007-03-17 06:52:17 · answer #1 · answered by Modest 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way to do it. You just have to say,"Son, it is time for you and your wife to be on your own. You have 30 days to find another place to live. " It is for the best of all concerned.
2007-03-17 01:17:19 · answer #2 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why isn't she telling her husband that she wants to live alone with him? Is it financial reasons? Whatever the reason is, she is probably taking it out on you because of your son's refusal to do so....regardless, she needs to show respect for you, they are in your home and for whatever reason it is that they are, your son should insist that she treat you with the respect that you deserve....give your son a timeline in which he can remain in your home, you gave birth to him, and more than likely were a wonderful Mother....but you are doing him a terrible injustice by allowing him to live with you with his wife, when he should be acting like a husband and providing for his wife in his own place.....she will appreciate it, and it's time for you and your husband to live your lives without stress caused by this uncomfortable situation.....tough love, my dear, it works and you'll finally get the respect you deserve by standing up for yourself...
2007-03-17 01:27:32 · answer #3 · answered by kate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kumkum ji, most of the people here might not be aware that here in India we "live" with our families (and family includes parents-in-law)
Anyway, I feel that you should tell your son clearly that instead of cribbing about one another throughout the day, its better to live away and keep loving one another. Communicate (not complain) clearly to your son & his wife and tell them that you would appreciate & support their decision of starting a nuclear family.
2007-03-17 07:32:14 · answer #4 · answered by D Bhowmick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u must be an angel mother inlaw cus mine said her sons gona move out with me over her dead body and that i should go rent a room and live alone with my baby. this is life some MILs r psychos and some DIL r psyhos u cant win, why would u want ur son to leave? no MIL wants her son to leave the mother forces her son to stay by emotionally blackmailing him to choose her over his wife..
2007-03-17 14:31:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously there is change after marriage but i am getting your problem.
The best way to make your son understand that you tell him that we need ur happiness and want to see you always cheerful so BETA if u respect me please manage the accomodation in the surrounding so that not only you but even i want see my daughter inlaw happy.Kindly u oblige me BETA.
2007-03-17 08:11:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to be up front about this. If they are grown enough to be married, they are grown enough to live on their own. Just explain that it's time for them to be on their own. Let them know you support them and love them and will do everything you can to help with this transition.
Good Luck!!
2007-03-17 01:19:30 · answer #7 · answered by Lindsey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that you think it is time they work on getting their own place. once they were married they should've made sure to have their own place. If anything it's rude that they stay there. I'm sure your son will understand!
2007-03-17 01:17:21 · answer #8 · answered by MelC 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son to live with her wife. Dam you gots more problems to worry about than that.
2007-03-17 01:17:11 · answer #9 · answered by Rerun 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell him it is time they started a family of their own, for which privacy would be good. They could get a lot more privacy living on their own.
2007-03-17 01:17:50 · answer #10 · answered by Phartzalot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋