Question to all single parents?

Question

I was wondering what are your main concerns with how your child is going to grow up? Sometimes i realy worry that my son is going to grow up veryconfused (the courts gave his dad supervised visitation rights and he only goes when it is convinent for him if lucky 3 times out of 7 months) Sometimes i realy worry i won't be enough for my son (he does have gramma and grampa but still) I realy want to know how many other single parents stress over stuff and what kinds of things you stress over.

Answer 1

Kids can live without a Dad. But, they won't be alright without a Mom. You'll be alright. Just have some good male role models around him to show him what a man should be. And don't let any old scumbag you're dating come around him. You can find good role models at church.

Answer 2

Hi there-
I am not a single Mom now- but was while my son was 2-8. (married at 16- divorced at 21) He is now 23 and he survived it all. He is graduating college this year and has an internship job waiting for him. He and I have the closest bonds we will ever have with another peron inour lives right now- since we basically grew up together.
Our single years together were more filled with meeting the every day necessities- but I can see your need to meet the emotional as well.
I worked a full time job- a part time job - and went to school full time on Friday and Saturday over 3 years to make a difference. That was my stress time.
Just want you to know- it can all work out.
Treat your children right- they are what comes first in the whole equation at this point.

Answer 3

I'm not a single parent anymore, but I was for the first three and a half years of my son's life. I worried about EVERYTHING....him having enough of a male influence, the role models around him....his father wasn't around, and i worried that he'd grow up feeling as though he'd done something or what ever to cause his father's lack of interest.
I worried about the world he'd been Born into - it's so tough for boys out there.
I worried about dating - what if I started dating and he had a difficult time with that (it had just been he and I for so long)...
I worried when I met my now husband...I was sick with the thought that my little boy would feel displaced or secondary...
...and I still worry about every little thing.
We're moms - we're pre-programmed to stress the small stuff. You wouldn't be doing your job if you felt too relaxed...

Answer 4

Yes Im a single parent and I worry and stress over it all the time! Ialso come from a divorced family growing up and I hated it and it was hard on me, I dont want my child to feel the same way, I used to love my childs father so much and wanted to spend my life with him but he got to carried away in the party life beginning like 5 years ago and still going he rarely ever sees his child and I honestly dont think he cares to! My child has alot of family to love and care for him on my side and his fathers side (his father is just rarely around) But it bothers me bad when he dont get to see his daddy he looks up to him and his father knows that but still nothing! But just to let you know trust me a million things run through my head a day about how my childwill grow up and how he will deal with it all and how it will affect himlater in life when he gets in a relationship! My mind dont stop wandering, but I hope that helps you out a little bit that you are not the only one that stresses over it!! Good Luck with everything!

Answer 5

I was raised in a single parent family, and now unfortunetly I am a single parent...I was blessed with my grandparents who were great role-models for me...You didnt say how old your son is, but you will always be enough for him....he will see for himself what kind of person his father is...my only advice as far as the father is, NEVER put him down or express sore feelings for him around your son....NEVER...this will only idolize him for your son...

I remember my mother having the same concerns about us, so she raised us in the church. CHurches provide a close knit family of resources.

Being a single mother my biggest concern I am not able to spend a lot of time with my daughter...I had to go back to work to provide for her, and by the time that I get home from work I have just enough time to feed her, bathe her, maybe play for like an hour before I lie her down...I miss so much...

Good luck....

Answer 6

I had the same worries about my son. He is four now, and just fine. Kids are fine as long as they feel like everything is going to be ok. They don't need two parents, just a sense that everything is safe. Just be very affectionate and he will be feel loved and secure. Answer any questions honestly, but don't dump your feelings about his absent dad on him. There are lots of good books out there about raising boys. Just think of all the positives. You don't have to share his love with anyone else. You get all the holidays, and all the special moments. You will do fine.

Answer 7

mY kids don't have a father at all so I wonder if my daughter in later life will look for an older man to date as a father figure. My son has a grandfather but not nessisarily the best role model in life so i wonder how he will turn out. Do i stress over it NO just wonder. We do well in our lives. They are happy well adjusted kids and we take it one day at a time.

Answer 8

I'm not worried about it. the only thing I'm worried about is my daughter's daddy finding me and taking my baby away. and that's what i fear the most.

if my daughter ever had any questions about her father or wanted to see him. i would only say good things about him and show her pictures. i would never want her to automatically assume that her father was a bad person even though he was. it wouldn't be fair for her or the father. i think he deserves a fair chance to prove to his daughter that he is a good person. but, that is a very long time from now. and i really don't need to think about it.

i don't think that my daughter will have any trouble growing up without a father. i will probably and hopefully be in another and more sturdy relationship when she gets older. so, i know that she will probably have a father figure in the future.

Answer 9

one concern i share with you is whether i am enough for my little boy.

he is just over two and a half years. He sees his dad three times a week for a few hours a time. I don't have any contact with his dad as we don't get on at all, and my mother acts as mediator when passing my little boy over. However, i do believe contact with his dad and his dad's family is important (even though we can't stand each other!) and I don't have a clue how it is for my son when he visits his dad and family - i've never known. I worry that he's happy (at first he used to be in a state when passing him over to his dad and i must say there where times i wished his dad was out of our lives - mainly because of his feelings towards me. On the other hand, that woulddn't have be fair on my son, who in time needs (or doesn't need) to make his own mind up. You know, up until recently my world used to stop dead from the moment i handed my boy over, until i saw him again - the worry was awful! Now i just fill my time as best i can until his return and he does look forward to seeing his dad.

When its just we two, I try to do as many interesting things with my boy as i can to get us out of the house (we've started going to church too), but sometimes you just want to stay at hime and relax - even when i'm washing the dishes or doing the laundry or gardening, i feel guilty that he's on his own in the garden, watching tv or playing with his toys. I worry sick about everything and that i'm doing the right thing all of the time - it can ring you out!! I wonder if mothers with partners worry as much... and then i worry that my worrying might drive me mad and everyone around me mad - you see your not the only one! ha ha

i've just moved to be nearer my mother for support and haven't met any other parents yet (i'm an older mum too as well as a single one)- and i'm worried that spending so much time with just me and his gran is not good for him.

We do love him so much though...

Answer 10

if you love your son and spend enough time with him and do things with him like going to the playground and movies(i dont know your son's age, so of course I mean age-appropriate activities) YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ENOUGH. "Mom is the word for God in the hearts of little children" its so true. what you need to worry about is dad hurting him. My husband stiffed my daughter on her first christmas, when he only had her saturdays overnight he went out once on a date and had his brother babysit. she was young but when they are old enough to understand it will hurt them to be brushed off or stiffed so have a talk with him and say be a father all the way or go away.