whenever i meet someone on line,or whenever someone is texting me, i become a friend, but i never want to take things further, when a guy talks to me i usually just believe that he is making friends with me because he wants to court my sister, or that i dont believe men who call me lovely and all that after looking at my profile, or i consider every thing that a man does to me as just a friendly act , cause there is no way someone would fall in love with me and those who do are not the ones i like, like i forever think i dont deserve the man i want. like i can text but not talk to him in person cause i think too much about what he sees in me, like im not ugly i usually get a lot of attention from men, its just that i am not sexy enough and that i dont want to go on a diet just so i could be confident in myself, cause i know it would be telling a lie to myself, i need to love myself without changing
2007-03-16 17:21:17 · 7 answers · asked by haringmarumo 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Perhaps, your appearance may lead you to this state. Not sure whether the guy really like you for who you are & not just how you look. But if you do not even start a friendship with him, how do you know what's going through his mind?
Be less conscious & think less of all things that's going through your mind right now. Relax.
Men have the right to befriend you. It's up to you if you want to be friends with them. That's all. So go all out & make friends. You do not have to go steady with every guy you met.
Advancing to the next level depends on whole lot of factors, like chemistry, compatability etc. not just being beautiful, sexy whatever. If he's comfortable with the way you are, I'm sure you'll be comfortable being together with him (provided you're also comfortable with the way he is). You'll know if you deserve the man you're out with gradually. How would you know / imagine all these things if there isn't a friendship / date to start with. Imagining too many things will harm you emotionally & mentally. Take a break.
Take it easy. Give yourself and the guy(s) a chance. Making friends is fun. Dating can be fun too. Give yourself less pressure. Just remember to reserve yourself & your heart for that someone special that who deserves you. You will know in time to come.
And if you start dating, just put in your heart bit-by-bit, not your whole heart, into the relationship. You'll have better control of things with your mind, your heart & your soul.
Learn to love yourself, respect yourself & stop refraining yourself from making new guy friends. Personal grooming is one way of loving & respecting yourself too.
2007-03-16 17:46:09 · answer #1 · answered by Queenie Tay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG you're so me I just have to respond. So I went through this phase of talking to men online, knowing that I never intended to actually meet them in person. Call me a ***** but it was more out of boredom and comfort, knowing that if I didn't feel any vibes I could just 'sign off', and move on within a matter of minutes.
One day I met this guy on yahoo personals and we started talking through yahoo instant messenger. It was over the summer and I had gained some weight (like 15lbs) so I knew I would never actually meet him because I didn't want him to see me in person. We talked for two weeks or so, almost every night online, and after the second week I saw on myspace that he just started dating someone else.
Oh well I thought, onto the next. Three weeks later he text messaged me and I texted him back. One thing led to another, him and that girl never worked out, and I decided to take a chance and actually meet him in person. I felt the same way you did and thought that there was no way someone would fall in love with me. Well, our six month anniversary is approaching and I couldn't be happier. I actually found a man who loves me for who I am, and tells me constantly that I am the most beautiful woman in the world, and the only one for him.
Confidence comes from within and has nothing to do with weight. If you lose weight you'll hate your hair, and if you love your hair you'll hate the shape of your head. Everyone has insecurities and you need to recognize that there is a man out there who will love you for who you are, and not what you are. Do things to make yourself happy, and realize that everyone deserves to be loved.
2007-03-17 00:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by meg91084 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If youre that afraid that your not attractive enough that you'll never trust a man, then theres a reason for it.You can either keep a wall up and live alone until your dead, or lose a few lbs and feel better physically and mentally seeing it is robbing you of being able to belive someone could love you and making you paranoid to the point of where you are willing to drive them away and be lonely and miserable.I was heavy when I was younger and I lost the weight if I did, so can you.It isnt dieting, but eating right and exercising.
2007-03-17 00:27:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek psychiatric help as soon as possible, you have serious issues.
2007-03-17 00:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by zoldosh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get off the computer more often. and meet people in person. online is a crap shoot.
2007-03-17 00:26:36 · answer #5 · answered by RTWING 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
become comforatable with your self first.
2007-03-17 00:26:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
...get mentally HEALTHY first.
...THEN worry about OTHER humans.
2007-03-17 00:24:13 · answer #7 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋