Hi, my names Jazmine :). I'm 15, and i met this great guy about 6 months ago. He introduced himself very politely and ever since then we have been talking. I feel a real connection between me and him, and i hope he does too. Were still friends, but i really wanted to be in a relationship with him. Is this ok, or should i try n move on? I asked my friends about the age thing and they said it wouldn't matter, but i get scared sometimes. ESPECIALLY when he brings up the term "sex". Althought every guy talks about it, do you think it's ok to get into a relationship with this guy?
2007-03-16 16:58:30 · 26 answers · asked by colorfulgarden 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The guy is 20 years old.
2007-03-16 17:02:06 · update #1
You mention an age gap, this is hard for young people, because, the difference mentaly and socialy between say 16 and 18 is huge! He sounds like a nice friend though!Dont get hung up on him though at this time in your life...life changes so much in your next few years! and most adults would give anything to go back... so enjoy being young while you can!
2007-03-16 17:05:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Jazmine-
Friendship is the cornerstone of a true relationship, so being friends in never a bad thing. If you feel a connection and if his age is appropriate (because you did not tell us how old he is, but for your age anything over 17, 18 max is to old and statutory! If he is older than that then 1. you should question his motives and why he is not dating a grown woman as he is a grown man and 2. if you care about him understand that a relationship could me that he goes to jail because that is statutory rape) pursuing a relationship is ok, although you just may want to sit back and let him come to you, because YOU ARE WORTH IT, that is not to say that women can not be the aggressor but if he is talking about sex and you are the aggressor assumptions that you are ready for sex may me made, and I can tell by your tone that you are not sure if you are ready for sex (because if you were it would not make you scared at all, you would be at piece and comfortable).
Whatever you do, do not have sex until you are ready and prepared for any and every possible consequence including but not limited to babies (because some people have multiples), HIV and other STD's and lots a DRAMA in your life that comes along with the decision to have sex. All guys are not motivated by sex, nor do all guys feel the need to talk about it (usually the ones who talk about it often are the ones who are itching to have sex).
So whether you choose to be with this guy or another know that value that you possess with in you and always remember your worth, when dealing with relationships, and sex (because they are not the same), remember that you and only you can make those decisions.
Understand that a polite guy that treats you nice is not enough, nor is a connection as you will have many connections in your life. Ask yourself what does this guy bring to my life? If the answer is "nothing" or "I don’t know", then this is not a relationship that you should peruse now, although it may be later. If you ask the question, what does this guy have going for him? (Besides sports or popularity thinks like is he intelligent? does he make smart choices? do you have similar goals? does he have a job? is he making good grades?) Once again if the answer is "nothing" or "I don’t know", then this is not a relationship that you should peruse. Finally ask yourself how he treats his mother, sisters and other women in his family? and how his father (or male figure) treats his mother or women? this often reflects how he may treat you.
The bottom line is no one can tell you to get into a relationship with him or not, but I hope that I offered you some things to conceder to help you make the best decision for your life.
Good Luck!
2007-03-16 17:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by perfection1908 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old this guy is, Jazmine, but I'm guessing he's much older than you. You mention "the age thing". Guys don't think like girls, Jazmine, so the intimacy you feel for him is probably a considerable different feel in him. It's very common for women to date men who are a couple years older, but a couple years at age 15 are kind of a big deal. And lots of girls get pregnant at 15 or even younger. BE CAREFUL.
2007-03-16 17:05:35 · answer #3 · answered by DayinthePark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jazmine,
You don't say how old he is? At 15, (or any age, but especially at 15) being in a relationship and sex should definately not be the same thing. If this is a much older man, sweetie, especially one your parents don't know you are "talking to" and having these thoughts about, you run, don't walk to them, as it is not appropriate for him to be having conversations with you about sex.
2007-03-16 17:04:46 · answer #4 · answered by Robin R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this may be hard one to answer for you, but coming from some experience in this matter, I think that he is way too old for you, if he wants sex and isn't something you are ready for right now then it may be the best thing to move on from this and find someone closer to your age range. In all actuality, I am not one to pass judgment in this matter, but sex is worth waiting for the right person for, I know I may sound like your mother in this, but are you really ready for the consequences of this???? If you are and you chose to be with him in that way then safe sex is very important and I suggest you look into it before you do anything rash. I don't see anything too wrong with spending time with him though. Only you know the true answer to this, but I hope I have been of some help to you.
2007-03-16 17:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by J B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get into a relationship with a guy who makes you feel scared sometimes, who you have an age difference with, or who talks too much about sex- that's disrespectful. When you're 15, age does matter. I think you should move on.
2007-03-16 17:01:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well I don't know how old he is but if he's in highschool then he's only going to use you for the sex. and at 15 your not ready to handle something like that. Best bet is to move on or not date at all until you are ready for ALL aspects of a relationship. I waited until 17 and those 2 years can make all the difference so hold out k!?? Good LUck!
2007-03-16 17:02:13 · answer #7 · answered by MelC 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Negative. Sex at 15 can and most likely will bring you a whole lot of problems. Let me give you some straight up advice about teenage boys because I once was one. Teenage boys have one goal and that is to get into your pants. Nothing more, nothing less. Move on and find other interests. Your dating years are not that far of and this sort of thing can wait.
Hope you take this advice to heart.
2007-03-16 17:03:58 · answer #8 · answered by Grampa 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he is over the age of 18 and you get into a relationship with him and ya'll so much as kiss your parents can press charges against him and he will have the title of sex offender for the rest of his life. But is he's under the age of 18 ask him and if he feels the same as you do just got for it.
2007-03-16 17:03:25 · answer #9 · answered by sarahzcat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you worried about age? How old is he? It's perfectly fine to want to be in a relationship with someone. As long as you respect each other you will be fine. That means that if you aren't ready for sex then he shouldn't bring it up.
2007-03-16 17:04:21 · answer #10 · answered by Vince R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋